Breaking News: Tim Tebow Sets Record for Least Women Bedded as a Reigning Heisman Winner

Although Tim Tebow, Born Again Christian and star Florida quarterback, may not win another Heisman this Saturday, he can be proud to have left his mark on the college record books. Pending any changes tonight, Tebow will become the official record holder Saturday for the Least Women Bedded as a Reigning Heisman Winner. Tebow set the record with an eye popping number of 0, breaking the record of .3, held by Born Again Christian and former Florida State Seminole, Charlie Ward. Ward made out with Chandra Foster just 2 months after his Heisman win, but cut the night short when he felt the Holy Spirit guilting him for his lustful actions. 

Prognosticators were sure that Ward's record of .3 would never fall, due to the fact that possibly the greatest aphrodisiac for college hookups is when one partner has just won a Heisman Trophy. Tebow smashed the record in 2008 though, purposely failing to hook up with a single woman. While internet rumors swirled about a possible buxom brunette love interest, Tebow showed the resolve that has prominent Evangelical James Dobson calling him the "A.C. Green of the football game."

When presented with a plaque for breaking the record, Tebow was overcome with emotion: "I have prayed and cried and spent many nights on my knees, attempting to overcome my sexual urges and to be pure before God. This award means much more than the Heisman to me, because it shows the strength of God manifesting itself in my platonic, pure lifestyle. As 1 Corinthians 6:19 says, your body is God's temple, and I've tried to live like God is inside of me all these years."

Ward could not be reached for comment because he was leading a bible study.

Nope, he's definitely not looking at you...

When told about Tebow's record breaking performance, the University of Florida's astonishingly hot co-eds credited Tebow's strength to good parenting and promised to redouble their efforts to corrupt Tebow.

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