Four Reasons You Hate Greg Paulus

The former Duke guard will match up against three Big Ten schools this year...in football. Which means that after Paulus suffers one vicious hit from Wootten or Bowman, Google searches for "Greg Paulus smacked," "Greg Paulus hitsticked," and "White Duke guard laid the f*** out" will increase 1000 percent.

But why do people abhor this former Gatorade National High School Football Player of the Year? Four reasons...add more if you'd like.

1. Paulus is.."the guy who plays just a little too hard during open gym and mens league basketball"..."the guy who wears four armbands and gets a little too excited during the company softball picnic"..."THE OVER-CELEBRATOR"...

These guys are fantastic in real life...for unintentional humor or the occasional dive into a chain fence while catching a meaningless flyball. But at the Division 1 football and basketball level? It's just...odd. You're a D1/FBS athlete because you're that much better than all us other schmoes. It seems like Paulus is overcompensating, living for the ass slap from Coach K and some hustle points from Clark Kellogg. Act like you belong.

But will this annoying over hustle translate to football? God I hope so. It will give me a reason to root for PSU, NW, and Mini to hammer the "over celebrator" from Syracuse. Can you imagine his excitement after throwing a TD? He's going to put Tebow's chest thumping theatrics to shame. It'll be like Clapping T-Shirt Throwing Girl crossed with Excited Cheering Suburban Mom.

2. Paulus is living the dream...of every one of us

He looks like your average white suburban guy, just hanging out, and then he throws for 4000000 high school passing yards and gets recruited by everyone, turns it all down to play basketball at a perennial Top 10 program, and then decides that his former golden arm is good enough to play one last year of FCS football. But what makes it harder to swallow is that he's only 6'1'', 180 lbs, so in essence, he's just like one of us...only a lot more athletic. Dammit.

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3. He has perfect teeth (TY! BHGP)

And he shows them in every cheesedick smile. There are two people in this world: people you instinctively want to smack in the face and people that you don't want to smack in the face. Paulus fits in the former category. Just the facts.

4. He thinks he still has "it"

This one is for the haters out there. And they are just living for that 11-25, 134 yard, 2 Int performance to snicker, "Guess it's a little harder to play D1 football, huh superstar?" Paulus hasn't paid his dues, he hasn't been red-shirted or survived two-a-days for a couple years...But he's jumping right into Big East play.

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