10 Reasons To Dislike Lane Kiffin (because hate is such a strong word)
by Graham Filler on Feb 5, 2010 9:18 AM CST
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Print- Talks like he's entitled to be incredibly arrogant...
- But he's not...and nothing is uglier than an undeserving idiot talking condescendingly. Like when you smash another team in men's league hoops and the opposing point guard sneers at you that it didn't matter, your jerseys are ugly and his girlfriend is hotter than yours anyways.
- Wears oversized shirts for no reason, like an 8 year old trying on daddy's clothes (scratch this one if it's some kind of disorder or a phobia of tight shirts..my apologies if so).
- Blames idiotic statements on everything except his bombastically annoying personality. Why did he attack Florida so vehemently before ever coaching an SEC game? He was trying to draw attention to the UT program, it was strategic. Why did he take condescending potshots at UCLA right after they stole some big-time recruits? It's an LA rivalry, everyone does it. If you're aiming for any semblance of classiness and the like, do not hire Lane.
- But then again, if you're looking for winning, I guess maybe don't hire him either. I'm sure he'll win some games in SoCal, but the two systems he's served as figurehead for so far certainly regret hiring him.
- Came out of a war of words with Al Davis and people felt bad for Davis. That means that Lane Kiffin, somehow, became a less sympathetic figure than Al Davis...I had no idea that was possible. I'm not even mad at you Lane, I'm just impressed.
- Got Seantrel Henderon to USC by promising Seantrel that once he enrolled, he could have a threesome with Kiffin's wife and a USC song girl.
- Recruits so well that some have questioned his ethics. Okay everyone has.
- Pulled a sweet gig that he probably doesn't deserve.
- Dragged Tennessee fans onto his bandwagon in the name of improving the program and then tossed them aside unceremoniously. Let me give you an analogy - Say you had some wonderful girlfriends in the past and for whatever reason, it didn't work out. So you start dating a new girl who hates your family and wants to control your life. She's hot, so you go along. Then she says, we can't be together unless you quit your job and move to my city. So you quit that nice job and move to her city. After a couple months of bliss, she decides it's not going to work and breaks up with you. So you're left alone in a crap city, eating Lucky Charms in your boxers, thinking about your wonderful exes and ruing the day you met this girl. That's Kiffin and Tennessee.
- Now coaches the Southern Cal Trojans, a program I respect and a football team I enjoy watching. I loved to see Pete Carroll stockpiling talent and the spastic cool he exuded. I loved seeing athletic plays by future NFL players. But now I have to root for tremendous failure in every game if only to see Kiffin break into tears at a presser, screaming for Monte to tell the bad people to go away.
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YES GRAHAM...
I love it when we get to use girls as a metaphor for anything in football. And we’re so damned good at it here at TRE… it makes me think we should all stop being lawyers (you guys anyway, me, I’ll just keep not being a lawyer) and open a dating service for football junkies.
"You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me."
+1
We need a tagline for that service…let’s work on that.
Plus, doesn’t the Lucky Charms just make that analogy? Such defeat in those soggy Lucky Charms…
by Graham Filler on Feb 5, 2010 11:00 AM CST up reply actions
totally agree
I never understood why Lucky Charms got so much play as a cereal.
"You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me."
Cap'n Crunch
"You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me."
Holy shit, #10 is my marriage
Only take out “few months” and insert “few years.” Take out “my city” and insert “State of Iowa” (rather be in Colorado, but kids keep me in IA now). Otherwise, Jesus….that’s the last 4 years of my life in a nutshell.
with or without the lucky charms? ‘Cause that’s key.
by Graham Filler on Feb 5, 2010 5:01 PM CST up reply actions
While we are talking cereal
I have some news of the whereabouts of Cap’n Crunch.
OBITUARY:
Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment
community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and
trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71..
Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities
turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry
Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and
Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours.
Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man
who never knew how much he was kneaded. Born and bread in Minnesota,
Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled
with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much
of his dough on half- baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at
times, he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll
model for millions.
Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, three children: John Dough,
Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also
survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
by TheEvilProfessor on Feb 5, 2010 5:57 PM CST up reply actions
I'm chubby
So I try to eat the healthy stuff. Frosted Miniwheats. But yeah. (ex was a stripper who LOVED being naked…I recommend to anybody in those shoes)
by imadirtyoldman on Feb 5, 2010 8:28 PM CST up reply actions
frosted miniwheats keep the soul alive in trying times, I would agree.
by Graham Filler on Feb 6, 2010 3:21 PM CST up reply actions
#3
Maybe he just is wearing Monte’s shirts. They make him feel like a real coach.
I think the thing with Al Davis is why I dislike him so much. I blame Lane for me siding with Al on anything. It’s just not right.
It never gets to be easy
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