10 Reasons To Dislike Lane Kiffin (because hate is such a strong word)

  1. Talks like he's entitled to be incredibly arrogant...
  2. But he's not...and nothing is uglier than an undeserving idiot talking condescendingly. Like when you smash another team in men's league hoops and the opposing point guard sneers at you that it didn't matter, your jerseys are ugly and his girlfriend is hotter than yours anyways.
  3. Wears oversized shirts for no reason, like an 8 year old trying on daddy's clothes (scratch this one if it's some kind of disorder or a phobia of tight shirts..my apologies if so).
  4. Blames idiotic statements on everything except his bombastically annoying personality. Why did he attack Florida so vehemently before ever coaching an SEC game? He was trying to draw attention to the UT program, it was strategic. Why did he take condescending potshots at UCLA right after they stole some big-time recruits? It's an LA rivalry, everyone does it. If you're aiming for any semblance of classiness and the like, do not hire Lane.
  5. But then again, if you're looking for winning, I guess maybe don't hire him either. I'm sure he'll win some games in SoCal, but the two systems he's served as figurehead for so far certainly regret hiring him.
  6. Came out of a war of words with Al Davis and people felt bad for Davis. That means that Lane Kiffin, somehow, became a less sympathetic figure than Al Davis...I had no idea that was possible. I'm not even mad at you Lane, I'm just impressed.
  7. Got Seantrel Henderon to USC by promising Seantrel that once he enrolled, he could have a threesome with Kiffin's wife and a USC song girl.
  8. Recruits so well that some have questioned his ethics. Okay everyone has.
  9. Pulled a sweet gig that he probably doesn't deserve.
  10. Dragged Tennessee fans onto his bandwagon in the name of improving the program and then tossed them aside unceremoniously. Let me give you an analogy - Say you had some wonderful girlfriends in the past and for whatever reason, it didn't work out. So you start dating a new girl who hates your family and wants to control your life. She's hot, so you go along. Then she says, we can't be together unless you quit your job and move to my city. So you quit that nice job and move to her city. After a couple months of bliss, she decides it's not going to work and breaks up with you. So you're left alone in a crap city, eating Lucky Charms in your boxers, thinking about your wonderful exes and ruing the day you met this girl. That's Kiffin and Tennessee.
  11. Now coaches the Southern Cal Trojans, a program I respect and a football team I enjoy watching. I loved to see Pete Carroll stockpiling talent and the spastic cool he exuded. I loved seeing athletic plays by future NFL players. But now I have to root for tremendous failure in every game if only to see Kiffin break into tears at a presser, screaming for Monte to tell the bad people to go away.
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