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Closing Arguments - Illinois

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"Emotion is highly overrated in football. My wife Corky is emotional as hell but can't play football worth a damn."     

-- Hall of Fame Coach John McKay

I. Case History/Opening Statement

A. Case History

The Fighting Illini have been here before. There was the Rose Bowl in '83.  There was the shared Big Ten crown in '90. This century, there was the shocking 2001 league title and even more surprising run to the Rose Bowl in 2007. Unfortunately, the season after three of those four great years, Illinois missed a bowl game. And after the 2001 triumph, the program began a nose dive that has resulted in only one winning season in the past 8 (the aforementioned 2007 team). While the 2008 team seemed a play or two short of being decent, last year's squad appeared rudderless. And now, they may have a coach who has one year to save his job - but may not have the squad to do it.

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More Closing Arguments:

Ohio State
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Star-divide

B. Opening Statement

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, we love sports. And the reason that we do, is because on any day - if it's the right day - a team can rise up and be more than itself. On any play - if it's the right play - a team can overcome a more powerful foe. And in any given season - if it's the right, special kind of season, a team can come out of nowhere to shock the world and win the league. That, my friends, is why we love sports. An no team, and I say this without the hint of exaggeration, NO TEAM better exemplifies this than the Fighting Illini of Illinois. Nothing is impossible for them. In the last ten years, no other team in college football has both gone to two BCS Bowls AND won 3 games or fewer five times. That is the beauty of sports. That is the beauty of the Illini. They can run the right play, on the right day, and have the special and right season. Or they can lose ten games. 

II. Discovery

A. Pop Music Teaches Us

Because all blogs are required to compare athletic teams to some random entertainment icon, we're equating Big Ten Teams to famous pop artists.



It wasn't my intention to mislead you
It never should have been this way
What can I say
It's true, I did extend the invitation
I never knew how long you'd stay


Bit by bit

Torn apart
We never win
But the battle wages on
For toy soldiers    

h/t to Bama Hawk Girl for identifying Illinois's tendency to "All fall down."

 

 

 

 

B. Off Tackle Empire Says

Here's some of what we've written about the Illini over the off-season:

A look back at a very unusual last decade

Our Spring Field Guide

A few words on Corey Liuget

Illinois's Backfield Strength

We don't like Ron Zook

III. Emotional Plea

I challenge you to define this team. For the past four years, this was Juice Williams's squad. That was a blessing and a curse. The successes and failures of the team almost perfectly mirrored the successes and failures of Juice. Nathan Scheelhaase takes over now. The hope is that leads to more consistent results. Evryone is saying all of the right things for August. The hope is that they're doing the same thing in October. Absent a proven running back and proven wide receiver (which partly explains former starting QB Eddie McGee's move to the position), it may take some time for the offense to get going in new OC Paul Petrino's system. We're all assuming that it will be a pass-happy set. It will be interesting to see how a young quarterback handles that much responsibility that quickly.

On defense, the Illini were poor last year.The good news is that expected leader Martez Wilson should be back to full strength after missing 2009. The bad news is that expected starting strong safety Supo Sanni just found out that his next action will be in 2011, after a rupturing his Achilles tendon. New DC Vic Koenning is charged with building a defense, but it won't be easy. It's reasonable to hope that they'll take a step forward with improved coaching (Koenning did a solid job at K-State). It's hard to know how far that improvement gets them. They have a long way to go from 2009's performance before they can think about challenging in the conference again.

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The schedule is kind enough to keep Illinois from having to face Wisconsin and Iowa. However, dates with Penn State, Ohio State, Michigan State, Missouri, and Northwestern all loom as likely losses. Two tricky non-conference games (at Fresno State and vs. Northern Illinois) don't help the team's chances of returning to a bowl game.

IV. The Verdict

A. The Staff Calls the Games

It may have seemed like I was being hard on Illinois during the Argument. It turns out, I'm higher on the Illini than almost anyone else on the staff.

Graham Filler:

3-9 (1-7) with wins over SIU, NIU, Indiana

Jonathan Franz:

6-6 (2-6) with wins over Missouri, SIU, NIU, Indiana, Minnesota, Fresno State

Bama Hawkeye:

5-7 (2-6) with wins over SIU, NIU, Indiana, Minnesota, Fresno State

Paterno Ave:

3-9 (1-7) with wins over SIU, NIU, Minnesota

Jerdogg1:

4-8 (2-6) with wins over SIU, NIU, Indiana, Purdue

GregGoBlue:

4-8 (2-6) with wins over SIU, NIU, Indiana, Minnesota

Hilary Lee:

2-10 (0-8) with wins over SIU, Fresno State

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BOOM or Bust: The Story of Illinois Football

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Aug 27, 2010 9:18 AM CDT reply actions  

They actually went to bowl games in the 1990s. Maybe not any big ones, but still, they'd make the postseason as an average team.

Word of warning: The Illini could get screwed with a horrendous officiating gaffe out in Fresno. WAC Officials are about as bad as Todd Boeckman’s 2008 season…

My kingdom for a spellchecker. Or Devin Harris. Hopefully both.
For all the crap we give Wil Wheaton, he can still tackle better than Asante Samuel...
"What's your formula for the corner?" -Doctor Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory

by OBrienSchofieldismyHero on Aug 27, 2010 3:09 PM CDT up reply actions  

but are they as bad as Pac10 officials??

by talonk on Aug 27, 2010 4:16 PM CDT up reply actions  

Believe it or not

WAC officials are WORSE…

My kingdom for a spellchecker. Or Devin Harris. Hopefully both.
For all the crap we give Wil Wheaton, he can still tackle better than Asante Samuel...
Manning drops back to pass, Comedic.Sans and Wilfork come flying in and SACK him for a loss of twelve on 3rd and goal!

by OBrienSchofieldismyHero on Aug 27, 2010 11:20 PM CDT up reply actions  

Ever Grateful. Ever True.

by PurdueMatt on Aug 27, 2010 9:49 AM CDT reply actions  

In the last ten years, no other team in college football has both gone to two BCS Bowls AND won 3 games or fewer five times.

That’s like the old Philadelphia Athletics — they either won the World Series (5 times) or finished last in the American League.

"Never mistake motion for action." - Ernest Hemingway

by SubLime on Aug 27, 2010 10:23 AM CDT reply actions  

Similarly to the Philadephia Athletics

the last time Illinois was feared was in the late 40’s/early 50’s.

Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.

by Kyle McCann't on Aug 27, 2010 11:06 AM CDT up reply actions  

Maybe the Illini

will wind up in Oakland too.

"Never mistake motion for action." - Ernest Hemingway

by SubLime on Aug 27, 2010 11:57 AM CDT up reply actions  

That would really redefine the Big Ten road trip...

My kingdom for a spellchecker. Or Devin Harris. Hopefully both.
For all the crap we give Wil Wheaton, he can still tackle better than Asante Samuel...
"What's your formula for the corner?" -Doctor Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory

by OBrienSchofieldismyHero on Aug 27, 2010 3:07 PM CDT up reply actions  

Well since the West Coast = Big Ten Kryptonite

that could actually work in the Illini’s favor.

Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.

by Kyle McCann't on Aug 27, 2010 8:28 PM CDT up reply actions  

Via Kansas City!!

"Whoever said that the pen is mightier than the sword never encountered automatic weapons."

The Daily Norseman
Off Tackle Empire
SB Nation Minnesota

by Ted Glover on Aug 27, 2010 5:57 PM CDT up reply actions  

Well Ted,

that would legitimate a Big Ten championship game at Arrowhead!

"Never mistake motion for action." - Ernest Hemingway

by SubLime on Aug 27, 2010 6:34 PM CDT up reply actions  

You mean late 20's/early 30's for the A's

They were a doormat in the late 40’s and gone to KC by ’54.

by MSULaxer27 on Aug 27, 2010 2:48 PM CDT up reply actions  

Plus the deadball era,

don’t forget Frank Baker.

"Never mistake motion for action." - Ernest Hemingway

by SubLime on Aug 27, 2010 6:35 PM CDT up reply actions  

Of COURSE I meant the 20's/30's A's!

I mean, who doesn’t know that!?!

Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.

by Kyle McCann't on Aug 27, 2010 8:27 PM CDT up reply actions  

Of course that A's team

was the greatest baseball team to ever take the field.

Sorry Yankees fans.

"Never mistake motion for action." - Ernest Hemingway

by SubLime on Aug 28, 2010 3:56 PM CDT up reply actions  

No mention of the 10's A's?

They won THREE World Series…

My kingdom for a spellchecker. Or Devin Harris. Hopefully both.
For all the crap we give Wil Wheaton, he can still tackle better than Asante Samuel...
Manning drops back to pass, Comedic.Sans and Wilfork come flying in and SACK him for a loss of twelve on 3rd and goal!

by OBrienSchofieldismyHero on Aug 29, 2010 1:33 AM CDT up reply actions  

Wow, lively discussion

If a team sucks in the forest and no one is around to care, does Ron Zook still get fired?

Yes, still yes.

by Batman42 on Aug 27, 2010 11:16 AM CDT via mobile reply actions   1 recs

As it's been mentioned

Nothing would make me laugh more than if they’re terrible, and the state can’t afford to buy him out, so he’s back for 2011.

It never gets to be easy

by chitownhawkeye on Aug 27, 2010 7:35 PM CDT up reply actions  

So, it should really read

Illinois: The Colorado of the Big Ten

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Aug 27, 2010 9:09 PM CDT up reply actions  

i thought

that’s basically what happened this past off season?

Doesn’t seem very moral to me. Might as well take Satan’s autograph while you’re at it. - N.C.

by Illini0509 on Aug 28, 2010 2:21 PM CDT up reply actions  

I have them at 2-10 (1-7) with wins over SIU and Minny.

by talonk on Aug 27, 2010 11:18 AM CDT reply actions  

zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

When asked why he went for 5, Tate responded "..because I couldn't go for 6...".

http://www.insidetheshoe.com/

by SouthBayBuckeye on Aug 27, 2010 1:37 PM CDT reply actions   1 recs

What this teaches us

is that 2007 Illinois had no business going to the Rose Bowl.

My kingdom for a spellchecker. Or Devin Harris. Hopefully both.
For all the crap we give Wil Wheaton, he can still tackle better than Asante Samuel...
"What's your formula for the corner?" -Doctor Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory

by OBrienSchofieldismyHero on Aug 27, 2010 3:06 PM CDT reply actions  

You could also argue that they have no business

going 3-9 or 2-10 either. THey have some talent on that team, or did. How Juice Williams didn’t develop into one of the most feared offensive weapons in the Big Ten is beyond me.

Like it was beyond the Zooker, apparently…

"Whoever said that the pen is mightier than the sword never encountered automatic weapons."

The Daily Norseman
Off Tackle Empire
SB Nation Minnesota

by Ted Glover on Aug 27, 2010 6:00 PM CDT up reply actions  

At least they defeated Michigan and Minnesota

and almost no one else…

My kingdom for a spellchecker. Or Devin Harris. Hopefully both.
For all the crap we give Wil Wheaton, he can still tackle better than Asante Samuel...
Manning drops back to pass, Comedic.Sans and Wilfork come flying in and SACK him for a loss of twelve on 3rd and goal!

by OBrienSchofieldismyHero on Aug 27, 2010 9:26 PM CDT up reply actions  

sigh

it was so frustrating. but the guy i feel for the worst is arrelious benn. extremely hardworking, likable guy. couldn’t shake the injury bug and couldn’t get zook and staff to design any plays for him besides the fatal bubble screen or a motion to the backfield for an option. besides the kick return against psu, i’ll always remember one play: the ~50 yard touchdown reception in the rose bowl after the game had been decided. immediately after the score, rejus chucked the ball at the usc band out of frustration. i imagine he felt that way for 3 years.

Doesn’t seem very moral to me. Might as well take Satan’s autograph while you’re at it. - N.C.

by Illini0509 on Aug 28, 2010 2:27 PM CDT up reply actions  

Yeah, had Benn been in an offense that would've maximized his skills

He would’ve been an all time great

"Whoever said that the pen is mightier than the sword never encountered automatic weapons."

The Daily Norseman
Off Tackle Empire
SB Nation Minnesota

by Ted Glover on Aug 28, 2010 11:05 PM CDT up reply actions  

Yet another reason

Benn should have gone to Wisconsin.

Paul Chryst makes good use of the WRs. Brandon Williams and Nick Toon got plenty of passes…

My kingdom for a spellchecker. Or Devin Harris. Hopefully both.
For all the crap we give Wil Wheaton, he can still tackle better than Asante Samuel...
Manning drops back to pass, Comedic.Sans and Wilfork come flying in and SACK him for a loss of twelve on 3rd and goal!

by OBrienSchofieldismyHero on Aug 29, 2010 1:35 AM CDT up reply actions  

Well, like Charles Barkley would say

Illinois is going to be trrrrrrrrible, just trrrrrrible.

"Whoever said that the pen is mightier than the sword never encountered automatic weapons."

The Daily Norseman
Off Tackle Empire
SB Nation Minnesota

by Ted Glover on Aug 27, 2010 5:58 PM CDT reply actions  

Well, remember when they came out of nowhere in 07?

They could do that this season. But they need to set their sights on beating Northwestern first before they go anywhere.

My kingdom for a spellchecker. Or Devin Harris. Hopefully both.
For all the crap we give Wil Wheaton, he can still tackle better than Asante Samuel...
Manning drops back to pass, Comedic.Sans and Wilfork come flying in and SACK him for a loss of twelve on 3rd and goal!

by OBrienSchofieldismyHero on Aug 27, 2010 9:26 PM CDT up reply actions  

having a pre-season doak walker candidate

results in lacking a proven running back? i was under the impression that the backfield was the team’s strength on offense.

When I was a kid, I didn't want to be a doctor or a fireman. I wanted to be Super Mario. It's the most literal pipe dream I've ever had.

by U-God on Aug 27, 2010 6:01 PM CDT reply actions  

On an unrelated note:

I’ve eclipsed 1,000 comments on this site.

There needs to be some sort of on-screen fireworks. Or stealing the Penn State fight song. I don’t know.

My kingdom for a spellchecker. Or Devin Harris. Hopefully both.
For all the crap we give Wil Wheaton, he can still tackle better than Asante Samuel...
Manning drops back to pass, Comedic.Sans and Wilfork come flying in and SACK him for a loss of twelve on 3rd and goal!

by OBrienSchofieldismyHero on Aug 29, 2010 1:38 AM CDT reply actions  

Wait, wait, wait. What the hell are you doing writing the Illini preview?

by txhawkeye on Aug 30, 2010 12:58 PM CDT reply actions  

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