Hey guys, it's Christmastime here in America (in case you haven't heard). And we've had a hell of year in the B1G. And we've had one hell of year on OTE. So let me first say, thank you, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanza, Happy Festivus, Happy Year of Skyrim, etc. Thank you to all our writers, our old readers, new readers, haters, lovers, people living in their parent's basement, people with kids, individuals who moved to Des Moines to be with someone you thought was your future wife but is now living crosstown with someone named Larry and now you're sitting alone on Christmas eating soggy Lucky Charms and staring out at the desolate countryside, wondering, what if, what if. I'm so thankful that you stop by OTE to wade into the awesomeness of B1G fandom.
The economy apparently isn't spectacular. People don't like Wall Street. People don't like Congress. Rock music has been eclipsed by Indi music, er, unless for some reason you're a huge Daughtry or Nickelback fan. So let's take it back, way back, into a simpler time, with more hair, more overwrought guitar solos, and less cell phones. With that in mind, I asked each OTE writer the question - If your 2011 B1G program/team was a 1980's hair band song, what song would you be? Answers...below.
ed note: We didn't get all the teams represented, so add your own ideas to the mix.
Northwestern - Round and Round, Ratt
ChadNUDJ: Round and Round by Ratt. Cool video with the dizzying rotating camera (a la Northwestern's great offense) but the idea of going round and round is appropriate in a year where the Cats won 2, lost 5, then won 4 to get bowl eligible.....hopefully NU isn't a 1-hit wonder.
Purdue - Mr. Brownstone, Guns & Roses
Babaoreally: Axl is from Lafayette, so it has to be a GN'R song. This song is about taking heroin, which I probably should have tried this season. I have also heard that the Brownstone in the song refers to an apartment complex on campus where Axl used to buy drugs, so that's somewhat related to Purdue. "I keep tryin to get a little better, a little better than before" sums up Danny Hope's third season pretty well, just a little better.
Nebraska - I Would Do Anything For Love, Meatloaf
KennardHusker: I was born at the end of 1984... So yeah, I was barely 5 when 1990 rolled around. With that said, I'm thinking Meat Loaf's iconic "I Would Do Anything for Love" fits the 2011 Huskers. Nebraska came into the year wiling to do anything to fit in, and I'm pretty sure this song was the theme for the Nebraska staff when they heard the brutal schedule this year posed for the team (Imagine Bo screaming at the top of his lungs in the back and forth section, Will you take me to places I've never known "I CAN DO THAT" /sobs). Also, Nebraska fans, like Meat Loaf, have a penchant for being dramatic, a little long-winded, and representative of decades past... Let's just say the honeymoon period seems to still be in effect. We'll see what happens next year.
Iowa - Down Boys, Warrant
Bama Hawkeye: The lyrics say it all...
"Whoa can we rewind to where we've been. Ooh, I wish you'd take a look and see the shape I'm in."
Wisconsin - Here I Go Again, Whitesnake
HilaryLee: I feel it best encapsulates the Wisconsin team that is constantly in search of that quarterback to lead them to the promised land. In this years off season the team is definitely going alone once again... Unless we can find someone to transfer...
Ohio State - Dr. Feelgood, Motley Crue
Ted Glover: If the lyrics He's the one they call Dr. Feelgood/ He's the one that makes ya feel all right/ He's the one they call Dr. Feelgood/ He's gonna be your Frankenstein don't describe the Urban Meyer hiring in a nutshell, I don't know what is. And is it wrong to use a song about drugs? Well, after the year we've had, it was tempting to try and blot it out of our memory by any means necessary.
Michigan - Don't Stop Believing, Journey
Graham Filler: (*And while it's true Journey probably isn't true hair band music, it's Journey, they transcend genre splits). Not only is this now piped into the Big House, but it also exemplifies Michigan's (apparently justified) belief that solid hires and a new mentality could lead to success.
Indiana - Foolin', Def Leppard
Graham Filler: Is anybody out there? Does anybody care?...No.