A Very Merry 1980's Hair Band Christmas To You All
by Graham Filler on Dec 25, 2011 2:01 AM CST
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PrintHey guys, it's Christmastime here in America (in case you haven't heard). And we've had a hell of year in the B1G. And we've had one hell of year on OTE. So let me first say, thank you, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanza, Happy Festivus, Happy Year of Skyrim, etc. Thank you to all our writers, our old readers, new readers, haters, lovers, people living in their parent's basement, people with kids, individuals who moved to Des Moines to be with someone you thought was your future wife but is now living crosstown with someone named Larry and now you're sitting alone on Christmas eating soggy Lucky Charms and staring out at the desolate countryside, wondering, what if, what if. I'm so thankful that you stop by OTE to wade into the awesomeness of B1G fandom.
Second -
The economy apparently isn't spectacular. People don't like Wall Street. People don't like Congress. Rock music has been eclipsed by Indi music, er, unless for some reason you're a huge Daughtry or Nickelback fan. So let's take it back, way back, into a simpler time, with more hair, more overwrought guitar solos, and less cell phones. With that in mind, I asked each OTE writer the question - If your 2011 B1G program/team was a 1980's hair band song, what song would you be? Answers...below.
ed note: We didn't get all the teams represented, so add your own ideas to the mix.
Northwestern - Round and Round, Ratt
ChadNUDJ: Round and Round by Ratt. Cool video with the dizzying rotating camera (a la Northwestern's great offense) but the idea of going round and round is appropriate in a year where the Cats won 2, lost 5, then won 4 to get bowl eligible.....hopefully NU isn't a 1-hit wonder.
Purdue - Mr. Brownstone, Guns & Roses
Babaoreally: Axl is from Lafayette, so it has to be a GN'R song. This song is about taking heroin, which I probably should have tried this season. I have also heard that the Brownstone in the song refers to an apartment complex on campus where Axl used to buy drugs, so that's somewhat related to Purdue. "I keep tryin to get a little better, a little better than before" sums up Danny Hope's third season pretty well, just a little better.
Nebraska - I Would Do Anything For Love, Meatloaf
KennardHusker: I was born at the end of 1984... So yeah, I was barely 5 when 1990 rolled around. With that said, I'm thinking Meat Loaf's iconic "I Would Do Anything for Love" fits the 2011 Huskers. Nebraska came into the year wiling to do anything to fit in, and I'm pretty sure this song was the theme for the Nebraska staff when they heard the brutal schedule this year posed for the team (Imagine Bo screaming at the top of his lungs in the back and forth section, Will you take me to places I've never known "I CAN DO THAT" /sobs). Also, Nebraska fans, like Meat Loaf, have a penchant for being dramatic, a little long-winded, and representative of decades past... Let's just say the honeymoon period seems to still be in effect. We'll see what happens next year.
Iowa - Down Boys, Warrant
Bama Hawkeye: The lyrics say it all...
"Whoa can we rewind to where we've been. Ooh, I wish you'd take a look and see the shape I'm in."
Wisconsin - Here I Go Again, Whitesnake
HilaryLee: I feel it best encapsulates the Wisconsin team that is constantly in search of that quarterback to lead them to the promised land. In this years off season the team is definitely going alone once again... Unless we can find someone to transfer...
Ohio State - Dr. Feelgood, Motley Crue
Ted Glover: If the lyrics He's the one they call Dr. Feelgood/ He's the one that makes ya feel all right/ He's the one they call Dr. Feelgood/ He's gonna be your Frankenstein don't describe the Urban Meyer hiring in a nutshell, I don't know what is. And is it wrong to use a song about drugs? Well, after the year we've had, it was tempting to try and blot it out of our memory by any means necessary.
Michigan - Don't Stop Believing, Journey
Graham Filler: (*And while it's true Journey probably isn't true hair band music, it's Journey, they transcend genre splits). Not only is this now piped into the Big House, but it also exemplifies Michigan's (apparently justified) belief that solid hires and a new mentality could lead to success.
Indiana - Foolin', Def Leppard
Graham Filler: Is anybody out there? Does anybody care?...No.
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Thank you
now I have a mental image of Bo Pelini singing a pasionate ballad in a castle with Dana Patrick.
A futile crusade to prevent mass ignorance
HammerAndRails, SBNation's Boilermaker Blog
Michigan State
Michigan State: Livin on a prayer – Bon Jovi.
In honor of the hail mary.
by alvion on Dec 25, 2011 8:18 AM CST via mobile reply actions
I prefer "High Enough" by Damn Yankees
“Can you take me high enough?” Spartan fans are wondering if Dantonio can finally break through and get them to the Rose Bowl.
A slight rewording of the lyrics gets you this: “I just made one mistake, I didn’t know not to run into the punter.”
Manager at BT Powerhouse a Big Ten basketball blog
@babaoreally
There are too many off color comments for Penn State
I think I even offended myself thinking of them.
A futile crusade to prevent mass ignorance
HammerAndRails, SBNation's Boilermaker Blog
by BoilerTMill on Dec 25, 2011 12:53 PM CST up reply actions
With a small twist of the lyrics...
….“Cherry Pie” works pretty well for PSU.
https://twitter.com/#!/SpartanKC
AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
TOOOO SOOOOOOOOON!!!!
"Hey Jay, what time is it?"
"9:30"
"AND IU STILL SUCKS!"
by Boiler Bandsman on Dec 25, 2011 2:31 PM CST up reply actions
Better than Cum On Feel The Noise
Winger – Seventeen
White Lion – When the Children Cry
A futile crusade to prevent mass ignorance
HammerAndRails, SBNation's Boilermaker Blog
oh my god no
Off Tackle Empire
The quintessential Big Ten smoking room.
by Graham Filler on Dec 25, 2011 8:36 PM CST via iPhone app up reply actions
See what I mean
this has opened an unfortunate can of worms.
A futile crusade to prevent mass ignorance
HammerAndRails, SBNation's Boilermaker Blog
Oh how I curse the thing that should not be
In the name of the Woody, the Bo, and the Mustache Ride. Amen.
by Pariahwulfen on Dec 25, 2011 9:17 PM CST up reply actions
Patience by Guns N' Roses would work as well
It should be the theme song for every big rebuilding project.
Manager at BT Powerhouse a Big Ten basketball blog
@babaoreally
For OSU I was thinking
“Every Rose Has it’s Thorn” by Poison for the ending of the Tressel era and the NCAA punishment.
by br27 on Dec 25, 2011 12:47 PM CST reply actions 1 recs
Definitely not 80s hair metal, but "Tattoo" by The Who is appropriate
Welcome to my life, tattoo
I’m a man now thanks to you
I’ll expect I’ll regret you, but the skin graft I won’t get you
You’ll be there when I die
Tattoo
Manager at BT Powerhouse a Big Ten basketball blog
@babaoreally
Not to burst Wisky's bubble, but...
MSU is definitely “Here I go Again on my owwwwwwnnnnnn, walking down the only road I’ve ever known….”
Fucked out of a Rose Bowl berth for the 2nd year in a row.
Last year due to a combination retarded pollsters and OSU cheaters.
This year due to a marginal call in a classic game.
https://twitter.com/#!/SpartanKC
or even
Two out of three ain’t bad
Msu-wisky matchups…
Off Tackle Empire
The quintessential Big Ten smoking room.
by Graham Filler on Dec 25, 2011 2:22 PM CST via iPhone app up reply actions 1 recs
Uh, marginal?
Your dude ran into the kicker. It’s a hell of a lot less marginal than the touchdown call in the first game.
"Lying is like 95% of what I do."
-Sterling Archer, Codename: Duchess
by Bob Genghiskhan on Dec 26, 2011 9:47 AM CST up reply actions
It's funny.
I was at the game.
I saw the replay they showed on the jumbo tron at the stadium taken from my side of the field and was sure it was a BS call. I could see daylight (ie. space) between Lewis and Nortman. It appeared that Lewis may have made contact with Nortman’s plant foot after he was completed with the punt and his kicking leg was nearly down.
When I got back from the game and watched the replay on ESPN taken from the other angle (it appears this was the angle the ref saw), it appeared Lewis plowed into Nortman and did everything short of shank him. From this view it appeared that it was the right call.
I’ve never seen the replay I saw in the stadium again. I searched for it to no avail.
I’m sure reality is somewhere in the middle. I do know (as he later admitted) that the punter flopped. I do know that it was the punter that pushed Martin out of bounds.
Wisconsin may have felt “cheated” in the first game, though it was the correct call.
MSU may have felt “cheated” in the second game, though it was a call that could be called correct.
Both calls suck. These teams were about as even matched as they could be.
What bugs me is the fact that in the first game MSU won on a critical call but did nothing that could be construed as incorrect. (Ball was thrown, caught, players played to the whistle, review decided it was a touchdown) while on UW’s critical play in the B1GCG a player flopped (admittedly) and this was the deciding play.
I will tell you that I am looking forward to next years game in Camp Randall.
Look What the Cat Dragged In
for the above
by MSUDersh on Dec 26, 2011 4:01 PM CST via mobile up reply actions
LOL
“Marginal call” – hilarious! Really? A disappointing, boneheaded move, yes. A marginal call, no.
by cloud of dust on Dec 27, 2011 11:22 PM CST via iPhone app up reply actions
PSU
“The God That Failed” – Metallica
Doesn’t match my personal take on the entirety of the Sandusky shitstorm, but more my impression of the national narrative. This damned year can’t be over soon enough.
Luring recruits with my new "Posting HD" scheme since '08.
by 06Lion on Dec 25, 2011 6:02 PM CST via Android app reply actions
How about "Don't Know What You Got (Till It's Gone)" by Cinderella
They weren’t consistently winning championships or anything, but they had such a stable program. That went out the window this year.
Manager at BT Powerhouse a Big Ten basketball blog
@babaoreally
I'm disturbed to learn
from these comments that 80s hair metal now includes a Meatloaf song from 1993, Metallica, and The Ramones (<—— WTF).
Metallica is a more literal reading of the term
They are definitely a metal band from the 80s that had long hair. Generally when people are talking about 80s hair metal, they mean glam style hair metal, but it’s hard to argue against Metallica being a certain type of 80s hair metal band.
Manager at BT Powerhouse a Big Ten basketball blog
@babaoreally
If you're a fan of one of the bands or lived through the 80's, sure there is a difference.
If you’re not, than all of them: Metallica, Winger, Extreme, Bon Jovi, Def Leppard, Cinderella, Dokken, Poison, Crue, etal. were all just guys with long hair who played loud music.
I took artistic license with the category.
Deal with it.
Luring recruits with my new "Posting HD" scheme since '08.
Chillax, Brah.
I wasn’t debating your use of Metallica.
Just letting you know that there is/was a huge difference between the glam rock bands of the mid to late 80’s (Cinderella, Poison and of the “White” bands Lion, Snake, Great) and Metallica. Their musical styles and target audiences aren’t really even similar.
The Ramones
were about as far away from human as you can get.
"Go hard. I mean, like relentless. I want a bunch of coaches that coach like their hair’s on fire, and I want a football team that goes for four to six seconds (per play) with relentless effort." OSU Coach Urban Meyer.
I hope everyone had a great weekend!
Does anyone know if there will be a open thread tomorrow for when Purdue participates in some MACtion?
There will be an open thread for every B1G bowl game
"Bama Hawkeye, you know, the Iowa blogger who actually uses reason and analysis." - Patrick Vint
"I thought it was laughable when you first put it up, but you were obviously smarter than me." - PurdueMatt
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by Bama Hawkeye on Dec 26, 2011 3:01 PM CST up reply actions
Open thread will be at Hammer & Rails too
I am a glutton for punishment respected member of the media that will be in the press box at the game.
A futile crusade to prevent mass ignorance
HammerAndRails, SBNation's Boilermaker Blog
I suppose the tOSU 5 could be
the Rolling Stones album Tattoo You
by MSUDersh on Dec 26, 2011 7:23 PM CST via mobile reply actions
More than a feeling --
Yeah, I know it’s 70s but I like it. You pick the school.
Paul -
Go Sparty! Go Bucks! Go Tigers!
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