We have great respect for Virginia. Great program that Virginia has, and it's always going to be about beating Virginia. But I'll tell you, I won't wear Virginia colors. I just won't do it. Virginia.
The B1G, in a relatively down year, has received and accepted 10 bowl bids. That's a new conference record, and although we don't have a team in the BCS Championship game, and any serious claim to a spot in said game came to an end in East Lansing and Columbus in October, I think 10 teams qualifying is a testament to the depth we have this year.
And we all have opinions on these matchups.
Bama did a great Kneejerk reaction to the bowl pairings, but for those of us with short attention spans, we can't hang with it. So we have come up with...THERE IS A LORD OF THE RINGS TRILOGY ON TONIGHT OHMYGAWD...WordPhrase association to describe the bowl matchups. And we threw in the BCS matchups, too.
So we give you, the fine and upstanding community that is Off Tackle Empire, the first ever staff Bowlapalooza Word Association for each...HEY CHECK OUT THIS NEW 'BRAH' APP--TURNS YOUR PHONE INTO BRET BIELEMA OR A TOTAL DOUCHEBAG--WHADDAYA MEAN IT'S THE SAME THING...where was I?
Oh yeah, Bowlapalooza WordPhrase Association, presented to you by the OTE staff.
Little Caesar's Pizza Bowl, Western Michigan v. Purdue:
Ted: Detroit is a reward? For Purdue, yes
Chad: Seems like a normal, MAC-rifice non-con game...but Hope needs this badly
Kennardhusker: If a team that doesn't exist plays in a bowl game no one watches, does it make a sound?
Hilary Lee: Yawn.../tears ACL
Jdmill: Hot and Ready
Bama Hawkeye: Marvelous Start
MSUlaxer27: Reward for ineptitude.
Babaoreally: I hope they get that Robocop Statue built in the next few weeks.
Graham Filler: #surprisingberth
Jon Franz: Mmm, Lafayette Coney Island. Otherwise, I'd rather be on the couch with the queso than in Detroit in December.
Insight Bowl, Iowa v. Oklahoma:
Ted: Uh oh, Iowa.
Chadnudj: Stoops Bowl, but Sooners are limping, while Iowa is building for next year.
KennardHusker: Who saw this matchup in September?
Bama: Gonna be Ugly
MSUlaxer27: A chance to prove the computers wrong about the best conference.
Babaoreally: Once the game starts jOMHR will wish it to be over Sooner.
Graham Filler: #mismatch@probably
Jon Franz: Remember that time Iowa tried to put a linebacker on Anthony Gonzalez in the slot? Now pretend that every receiver on Oklahoma is Anthony Gonzalez.
Meineke Car Care Bowl of Texas, Northwestern v. Texas A and M:
Ted: Slump buster!
Chadnudj: One of the 4 chances the B1G has to beat the SEC or soon-to-be SEC....Northwestern REALLY wants to win a bowl, while A&M gets a home crowd but has no coach."
KennardHusker: Someone has to win in spite of themselves
Jdmill: Northwestern's first bowl win? Naaaaaah...
MSUlaxer27: The streak ends.
Babaoreally: Still seems crazy that Northwestern jumped anybody in line for a bowl.
Graham Filler: #stillNOforNU
Jon Franz: Save yourself the trouble. To calculate the number of year's it's been since Northwestern has won a bowl, take last year's number and add one.
Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl, UCLA v. Illinois:
Ted: I'd rather watch Craig James kill 5 hookers at SMU...which he allegedly DID NOT DO.
Chadnudj: Best idea: Hire Zook and Neuheisal as sideline reporters. If Illinois doesn't roll over UCLA, that's a shocking 7 game losing streak heading into next year....yikes.
Kennard Husker: 12-13
Jdmill: CRIPPLE FIGHT!!!
Bama: Both Better Without Head Coach
Babaoreally: Oy vey!
Graham Filler: #pinkslipbowl
Jon Franz: The only fanbase that isn't allow to laugh at this matchup: Arizona State.
Ticket City Bowl, Penn St. v. Houston:
Ted: PSU punished, will punish Houston
Chadnudj: I know Penn State fans are disappointed by being jumped by teams that they beat on the field (and there's no excuse for that)....but this is perhaps the most intriguing bowl on the entire B1G slate. All that matters is the matchup, and this is a GOOD/INTERESTING matchup."
Kennard Husker: The Terrible Headlines Bowl: Houston's letdown v. Penn State's ‘toxicity'.
Hilary: Unmovable Object
Jdmill: More like Yawn City Bowl
Bama: Catharsis or Could Care Less?
MSUlaxer27: This is not Boise vs. OU.
Babaoreally: Offense vs Defense.
Graham Filler: #ugly.v.pretty
Jon Franz: Neither team wants to be there, but Penn State and the B1G have a lot more to lose.
Cap One Bowl, Nebraska v. South Carolina:
Ted: You're a B1G team now, and they're an SEC team now, so if you win, it's irrelevant. If you lose, thuh ESS EEE SEE to jus' too fast for them northern boys PAAAAWWWWWLLL. Immahangupanlisssen.
Chadnudj: Can T-Magic solve the South Carolina defense? Can South Carolina's offense do anything against the Blackshirts?
Kennard Husker: Wait, I thought SEC teams were only good enough to play themselves.
Hilary: B1G SPEEEEEED
Jdmill: I'm sensing a lot of anger
Bama: Can Martinez avoid Clowney?
Babaoreally: Would be better if Stephen Garcia was involved.
Graham Filler: #noidea
Jon Franz: Hey, we actually might win one of these...
TaxSlayer.com Gator Bowl, Ohio State v. Florida:
Ted: u mad, Florida? You will be when Muschamp goes to Texas next year.
Chadnudj: No idea how this game will play out -- Florida players out for revenge against Urban's new team? Two inept offenses (although OSU's is clearly trending up)? Could be fascinating study of two teams going opposite directions -- OSU up with Meyer, Florida down under Muschamp....
Kennard Husker: Urban Urban Urban Urban Urban Urban Urban
Jdmill: I'm already bored with the Urban Meyer angle
Bama: B1G Buckeye Rout
Babaoreally: Right teams, wrong year.
Graham Filler: #floridasucks
Jon Franz: All Your Coach Are Belong to Us
Outback Bowl, Michigan State v. Georgia:
Ted: Walk the walk, Sparty. For once.
Chadnudj: In my opinion, the best B1G bowl matchup. By far. MSU shouldn't feel disappointed....they should feel elated they get a chance to play a very good SEC team in a great bowl down in Tampa. And beat them, they will. Sparty can and will win this game.
Kennard Husker: The Second Place Sucks Bowl
jdmill: U mad, bro?
Bama: Toughest of 35 games to predict
Babaoreally: I expect MSU to dominate.
Graham Filler: #bitchbitchbitch
Jon Franz: Two words: punt safe
Rose Bowl, Wisconsin v. Oregon:
Ted: The Who should play Pinball Wizard at halftime
Chadnudj: I honestly think Wisconsin is one of the 4 best teams in the nation -- they lost one game by hail mary, and lost a chance at OT in another by hail mary. When they're rolling, they're unstoppable....but so is Oregon's offense.
Kennard Husker: Way more entertaining than the BCS National Championship game
Jdmill: O/U set at 117
Bama: How many times will Badger LBs turn tail and chase?
Babaoreally: Should be the best bowl.
Graham Filler: #repeat2009please
Jon Franz: This is a must win for both teams
Sugar Bowl, Va. Tech v. Michigan:
Ted: Brady Hoke riles Hokie fan base by referring to them as only ‘Virginia'
Chadnudj: How the hell did the Hokies crash the BCS? Oh, and congrats to Michigan on exceeding expectations this year....great turnaround by Hoke, Matteson, and the defense.
Kennard Husker: It's the Boise and K-State hate you bowl!
Jdmill: YES! More B1G/ACC Challenge!!
Bama: First step to Michigan's 2012 BCS Title Game Appearance.
Babaoreally: Hoke and the Hokies would be an excellent band name.
Graham Filler: #beensolong
Jon Franz: Virginia Tech in the BCS = Bowlshit
Fiesta Bowl, Oklahoma State v. Stanford:
Ted: If Stanford wins, T. Boone demands another investigation
Chadnudj: These two teams should arguably be part of a Plus-One style playoff. Here's hoping OkState kills Stanford, and (with LSU beating Bama) making a strong case that the BCS got things wrong.
Kennard Husker: The ‘sucks to be a DB' game
Bama: Do the Pokes play like they care?
MSUlaxer27: Nobody wins.
Babaoreally: We are Cowboys 4Ever!
Graham Filler: #tboonesfarm
Jon Franz: Oklahoma State doesn't want to be there. Bet on the Cardinal.
Orange Bowl, Clemson v. West Virginia:
Ted: FUCK CLEMSON
Chadnudj: Clemson at West Virginia - I cannot imagine anything less interesting than a BCS bowl game between the ACC champ and the Big East champ.
Kennard Husker: 8-ball + West F'n V = edsbs blows up the Interwebs
Jdmill: Clemson at West Virginia... Clemson's unis are the color of burning couches. Neat!
Bama: Fun matchup that no one will watch.
Babaoreally: Directional Virginia will have their hands full.
Graham Filler: #snore#fail
Jon Franz: Just hopes it can match the Gator Bowl's ratings.
SEC West Divisional Playoffs, Game 2:
Ted: Hey, it's the Square Root of 9 Bowl!
Chadnudj: I take it back. A rematch of the field goal-ridden train wreck that was the Oversigning Bowl is clearly less interesting than that ACC-Big East BCS bowl.
Kennard Husker: LETS HAVE A FIELD GOAL TIME, LETS HAVE A FIELD GOAL TIME. LET'S HAVE A FIELD GOAL TIME LET'S HAVE A FIELD GOAL TIME HEEEEEEEEEY-O MUMBLEMUMBLEMUMBLE HEEEEEEEEEEEY-O
Jdmill: SEC! SEC! SEC! SEC!
Bama: Playoff proponents happy. Two best teams make the championship game.
MSUlaxer27: An emotion that involves less effort than apathy. If one exists.
Babaoreally: This game could very well end with a score that is a multiple of three.
Graham Filler: #
Jon Franz: It's all Wisconsin's fault.