2011 Closing Arguments - Indiana


If Indiana football loses, who cares? No one. But when Indiana basketball wins a game, 80 year old ladies from Terra Haute with blue hair say a prayer of thanks. - Random person at bar tonight

I. Case History/Opening Statement

A. Case History

I firmly believe in the "if you show me something, I give you respect." That's why I don't dole out respect easily. That's why I've got Michigan going 6-6 this year. With that said, Indiana again failed to gain my respect in 2010. Was it Dearly Departed Bill Lynch's fault? Probably not. Was it the offensive system's fault? NOPE. Ben Chappel led the B1G in passing yards. It's just Indiana, or, jIndiana. Low level recruits plus an undersized, undertalented defense (83 embarrassing points given up to Wisky) lead to a terrible record.

And when given the chance to pull what would have been a monumental win versus Iowa...an Indiana receiver dropped the winning TD in the end zone. Stunning? Nah, par for the course.

B. Opening Statement

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, None of you have faith in the Hoosiers. Seriously, not one OTE writer thinks the Hoosiers, who feature a manageable schedule, will win more than five games. Apparently none of you believe that Kevin Wilson's new "quick pass, quick tempo with a draw play thrown in" can make it in the deeper B1G. And you know -

Extensive awesome IU preview by Bill Connelly here...

I don't blame you. Most of the 2010 playmakers are gone and the defense, which was the real problem for Indiana, is inexperienced. Very inexperienced. And to be somewhat vaguely technical, I enjoyed the Pistol offense that IU ran; it protected the quarterback and allowed the offense to march (slowly) down the field. But we've moved on apparently. You know that old adage, "you never know who will pull an upset?" It's probably not going to be IU. The Hoosiers haven't beat a B1G team with a winning record since 2008.

II. Discovery

A. What We Can Learn From Pop Culture


 And you don't do the broken voice...

Look, it doesn't matter who is doing the Michael Caine impression, Rob or Steve, we already know the result: Comedy gold. They both just kill it. Just fucking perfect. I'll take either of them, any day. Comedic genius.

Similarly, it doesn't matter who takes the field for Indiana this year (which is a sad thing to say about Indiana players, because they have feelings too, and their mother loves them and they worked so hard this offseason). Whoever puts on the IU jersey will end up being overrun by a linemen or burnt by an opposing wide receiver on their way to a something and something losing season. We already know the result.

III. Emotional Plea

Whatever happened to rooting for the little guy? Whatever happened to supporting a school that has improved their fan turnout, their football facilities, their offensive production? Whatever happened to supporting the 2 star safeties who, I'm sure, will be described as scrappy by some idiot announcer?


Indiana is the red headed stepchild of the B1G (Although Purdue is making a run). Give them a break. Watch some of their games on the BTN Regional channels. Root for Kevin Wilson's "AGGRESSIVE FOOTBALL IS GOOD FOOTBALL" attitude to take hold of the Indiana players.

IV. Verdict

A. The Staff Calls the Games

OTE Staff, as a whole, predicts these results for the 2011 IU season:

4-8 (1-7 conference)

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