You know why they call it the Maxwell Award? Because this guy is so good that he literally went back in time and named an award after himself. AMAZING AND TRUE #2012HEISMANCONTENDAH (Photo by Mark A. Cunningham/Getty Images)
You're wrong. You thought this was a Rivalry piece about Michigan State. It's never about Michigan State, when it comes to Michigan State. It's about who is disrespecting Michigan State. And Michigan. It's pretty much always about Michigan.
THE FIRST HORRENDOUS THING ABOUT MICHIGAN STATE FOOTBALL IS THAT IT'S ALL ABOUT MICHIGAN
Michigan State fan: We did really well last year...but more importantly, let's talk about being screwed over from the BCS in favor of Michigan, even though that whole national brand thing is stupid and untrue because Michigan State has a really good nationally recognized basketball program, and furthermore we've won four in a row over Michigan if you haven't heard, and Michigan isn't even back after just one successful season and they didn't even have to play Wisconsin.
JimmySpartan2010: Zingermans? That's a 15 dollar ham sandwich. WTF? Come to Chandler's Crossing, I'll make you a free grilled cheese, we'll dodge the gunfire from the pool area, then go to Rick's and afterwards we're going to eat Menna's until we vomit. Doesn't that sound better than Zingerman's?
I'll even do this little trick to prove my point, it's going to blow your mind. Michigan State fans will not acknowledge that having a down Michigan program these last few years had anything to do with their rise in wins. In fact, if you bring it up, they'll just say, WELL, no Michigan fan was complaining when they finally beat Ohio State during a down year.
/See what I did there?
Wow, Michigan State, you got blown out by Alabama a few years ago. Spartan fan: Uh, that may have been the best team in the nation, and Nick Saban wanted revenge, and most importantly, Michigan got blown out that day too.
You think it's just the fans? Ha! Even Kirk Cousins, whose morals and good character rival Tim Tebow, got caught up this terrible mentality. Instead of celebrating one of the best MSU seasons of the past 50 years, he whined very outwardly about Michigan being picked over State for a BCS bowl.
JimmySpartan2010: And who can afford a $15 sandwich? Oh, and if you come to a house party with me on Abbott, you're going to have to pay five bucks for a cup. We're not all from West Bloomfield here, you know.
Good God, where will I find a Spartan who acts like they belong at the top of the B1G? And who doesn't focus on Michigan all.the.damn.time?
THE SECOND HORRENDOUS THING ABOUT MICHIGAN STATE FOOTBALL IS THE EVOLUTION OF THE SPARTAN FAN
This recent uptick in Spartan success has allowed MSU fans a seat at the big boys table and a more vocal presence in the blogosphere. Great. It's also allowed us to witness this morphing of Spartan fans into some sort of evil combination of whiny Penn State fans and batshit insane Ohio State fans who only know that OSU Football:good.
Now don't get me wrong, nothing is worse than OSU fans. That's not up for debate. And when OTE (formerly TRE) had spent a few years in the blogosphere, I told Jon that Penn State fans were my least favorite because they spent so much time bitching about everything in this snobby tone of "well we don't really belong here in the B1G, so all success and failure is somewhat minimized, plus we don't get respect on a national level to the extent that a national program should get." Anyways, MSU, welcome to the blogosphere. We're all worse for your presence. Oh look, it's JimmySpartan. Enjoy.
Random Poster: I think Michigan State will struggle because of inexperience in the wide receiver corps.
JimmySpartan2010: You don't even follow football do you? We've got the best unknown wide receivers in the Big Ten. They all learned under Blair White, who is a God, he plays in the pros, we're relevant you know, we have players drafted now, like a lot of them. Furthermore, Michigan doesn't have experienced WR's, not like Denard can throw to them anyways.
Random Poster: /horrified, stares at screen
Someone needs to sit JimmySpartan2010 down and say, hey:
Y'all won a few games and put your program on solid footing. Good work. /Pats Jimmy on the back. Now calm down. Don't feel the need to defend your programs honor at every turn, let your teams performance do the talking. MSU football is going to be alive and kicking tomorrow whether or not you double post about the unbelievable amount of points an unproven quarterback and his inexperienced wide receivers are going to put up in 2012. And how you're going to beat Michigan.
Spartan fans seem to be wrapped into this idea that if they don't wholeheartedly defend their football program aggressively, the team might slip into mediocrity. There is no room to make jokes. There is no irony, no admittance of faults or team weaknesses, just bullheaded WE'RE GOOD WE'RE GOOD HEY WHY AREN'T WE GETTING MORE ATTENTION WE BEAT MICHIGAN.
So folks, enjoy an offseason full of Spartan trolls telling you that Dantonio's no-personality personality is actually the best personality, furthermore MSU's defense will no doubt be Top 3 in the nation, further if the OTE bowl predictions don't have Michigan State in a BCS bowl than they're worthless predictions, and most importantly, Michigan is going to struggle this year obviously, without all those lucky bounces and with no depth at the WR position and with no blessed home schedule, because five wins in a row woot woo, Michigan sucks.