MADISON, WI - NOVEMBER 05: Montee Ball #28 of the Wisconsin Badgers breaks a long run in the first quarter as Ricardo Allen #21 of the Purdue Boilermakers pursues at Camp Randall Stadium on November 5, 2011 in Madison Wisconsin. (Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images)
Wisconsin week started off with a bang here at the OTE as Ted's Cocktail Party Preview was picked up by Rittenberg's blog over at the ESPN. The staff discussed some of the criteria that seem to help getting that coveted link from the world wide leader. Timeliness is thought to be important, if you want to get a piece into the lunch links column, it's really necessary to have the article posted before, you know, lunch. It also seems to be as important to keep the article family friendly. If you avoid working "blue" you have a better shot of getting picked up.
So, with that said, cover grandma's ears (unless your grandmother is LaWanda Page), and keep the kids away for a few minutes as there maybe some grownup vocabulary after the jump.
As we grow older we begin to realize that not everyone is a nice person or has the best intentions with their actions. The guy with the van and the lolly pop...maybe he doesn't just want to give you a ride home. People are in varying degrees mean, petty and vindictive. Some people are just assholes. Pure and simple.
Wisconsin has as its head coaches in football and basketball a couple of capital A, capital S, capital S Holes.
I became a MSU fan by watching the basketball team play back in the 80's so let's start with the long-tenured a-hole, clown king of Wisconsin: Bo Ryan.
Yes, you Bo. You're an asshole. You dress and carry yourself like you failed an audition for the "Tommy" character in the Marquette Community Theater production of Goodfellas. You act just like one of the third rate goomba wannabes one would expect to find in Wilkes-Barre, PA. You bullying antics to refs and players who would like to play actual basketball and not the plod, plod, flop game you practice in Madison are trite, tired and unfortunately legendary. Look I get it. UW won an NCAA tournament in 1941, but you don't have to continue to coach like only available athletes are slow, pasty and white and wear nut-huggers. The game has changed. It's OK to play above the rim (even the women are starting to do it!). It's OK to ummmm, score points. What's worse is that you're infecting the B1G with this shitty style of play. When I hear Purdue fans on H&R talk about how the only team they truly respect is Wisconsin because they play "defense" (read: slow, untalented, white guys positioning themselves to take a charge), it makes me a little sad inside, like if I just saw someone punch a kitten.
Next up Head Douchebag Fratboy Asshole: Bret Bielema
Does the card say go for two, fuckstick?
Let's stick with the failed actor meme here. In 1984, Bielema saw Revenge of the Nerds and developed a full on mancrush on the character of Ogre. He spend his early high school years patterning his life, manner of speaking and treatment of others after this character in a B-level movie. He played football (of course) but prepared every so diligently to try out for a role in the 1987 sequel to this epic Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise as Ogre's mentally damaged younger cousin "Troll". Bret was despondent when he didn't get the part and gave up his dreams of Hollywood infamy to go to Iowa and make fun of other teams that had to use a pink locker room. He lost the dreams, but never gave up the character.
I understand most of us will support our coaches unceasingly, but truth be told some guys are just jerks and should be called out as such. I was at MSU when Saban was our head football coach and most agreed he was not very likeable. He was surly, despotic and a (short joke ahead) petty tryant. But you Wisconsin fans seem to embrace the douchebaggery of your revenue sport coaches with a vehemence unseen in those with a fully formed prefrontal cortex. That Badgers take such pride in their "Eat Shit!Fuck You!" chant and don't find Ryan and Bielema's behavior reprehensible should come as little surprise.
There has been only one school that I will not root for in any circumstance, Notre Dame. That amalgam of shitheels has been recently been joined by the Wisconsin Badgers.
So in the spirit of pure, unadulterated hate I leave you, you brain addled, cheese gorging, gravy drinking Wisconsin fan with this:
Fitzy's GFY Megamix (via Fitzy01821) Definitely NSFW.
See you in Indy you insufferable bastards!