I wish you guys could read some of the email streams we (the writers) get going behind the scenes at the OTE. Last week alone based on an email from an Illinois fan (they do exist!) I had 63 messages in my inbox before I quit counting. These email chains are both as juvenile and sophomoric, and as astute and intelligent as you might imagine. Barring some 15,000 word stream of consciousness post (that Jesse has promised/threatened to do) you'll just have to take my word for it at this time.
Getting back to that email stream last Tuesday, we ever so briefly discussed reasons to like/dislike Illinois and this gem popped into my head. One routinely hears talk about about the "greats" our schools produce: astronauts to Rhodes scholars to politicians to star athletes. This list is the flipside to that discussion. This list is the dirty, nasty underbelly of the B1G.
Think of this list in this way: when you hear of someone on this list you might think, "Really? He/She went to xxxxx?" Naturally it has been harder to compile a list like this, as the ne'er-do-wells associated with our schools are usually swept under the rug. Look at this like a catharsis, if you know of anyone who should be on this list, please add them in the comments; Use this opportunity to cleanse your (universities) soul.
A final note. I'm deliberately not including anyone from the recent "troubles" in State College. As ICEICE would say, let's wait for all the facts to come in. Plus I'm not sure what would be served by opening that wound again.
5. Jeffrey Dahmer (OSU)
Dahmer has the most tenuous of relationships to OSU. Sometime between 1977 and 1981 Jeffrey Dahmer attended OSU for a single quarter and then dropped out due to failing grades. I guess with what came next it's unsurprising that he didn't last. Definitely one of those cases where you find it hard to believe he even was able to get into the school.
4. Donald Miller (MSU)
Mr. Miller killed four women in the late 70's including his former fiancee. Miller attending MSU and graduated with a degree in criminal justice.
3. (tie) Ted Kaczynski/Leslie Lynch King Jr. (UM)
One was a brilliant sociopath who killed three people and injured twenty-three others. The other pardoned a felon and war criminal. Push.
2. Earl Butz (Purdue)
Another with the taint of Nixon. See all those obese diabetics rolling around the country in their hoverounds? You have Earl Butz to thank. I leave it to Wikipedia:
For example, he abolished a program that paid corn farmers to not plant all their land. (See Henry Wallace's "Ever-Normal Granary".) This program had attempted to prevent a national oversupply of corn and low corn prices. His mantra to farmers was "get big or get out," and he urged farmers to plant commodity crops like corn "from fencerow to fencerow." These policy shifts coincided with the rise of major agribusiness corporations, and the declining financial stability of the small family farm.
All that corn had to go somewhere. High Fructose Corn Syrup anyone?
It also appears that he was a humorous man:
When the conversation turned to politics, Boone, a right-wing Republican, asked Butz why the party of Lincoln was not able to attract more blacks. The Secretary responded with a line so obscene and insulting to blacks that it forced him out of the Cabinet last week and jolted the whole Ford campaign. Butz said: "I'll tell you what the coloreds want. It's three things: first, a tight pussy; second, loose shoes; and third, a warm place to shit."
Quite the charmer, Mr. Butz.
1. Avery Brundage (Illinois)
Avery Brundage, the former President of the IOC, was more than likely a virulent racist and anti-Semite. I say more than likely, as evidence suggests he removed two Jewish athletes from the American 4X100 relay team to appease the Nazi government. As USOC president, he sent Americans John Carlos and Tommie Smith home from the 1968 Olympics in Mexico City after their raising of the black power salute on the medal stand. While not in a position of power with the IOC at the time, he had no problem with the Nazi salutes offered on the medal stand in 1936. He voted against the exclusion of South Africa and Rhodesia from the Olympic movement even while both practiced racist apartheid policies. Finally as IOC president, he refused to cancel the the rest of the games after the Israeli delegation was decimated. I was on the Illinois campus in 2001 and his picture still had a prominent place in their Union.
HM: Diablo Cody (Iowa)
I include Ms. Cody at the request of our esteemed colleague from Iowa. I wasn't aware that being a writer and comedian (and a former stripper) was that disreputable anymore.
Super Duper Special HM: John Wayne Gacy (Northwestern)
Wait. What?! Northwestern College. Nevermind.