DURP - Tom Pennington
The Big Ten at Ten is searching for a new villain in the football landscape.
Oh Biels. No really, oh Biels, we miss you. Why do we miss you? Because you were so damn easy to hate. Between that smugass grin you'd plant on your fat face before every Rose Bowl loss and the "On Wisconsin" you ended every conversation with, you were the Axl Rose of the Big Ten. No seriously:
That being said, we need a new villainous football coach to hate. So who's it going to be? A list of the candidates:
Illinois Head Coach Tim Beckman: Why? Because he's an awful football coach who attempts to poach recruits and then lies about attempting to poach recruits. He also can't have nice things.
Indiana Head Coach Kevin Wilson: Why? Because he's an outrageous asshole who has absolutely no sense of humor and dresses like the Michelin Man. The colors are "Cream and Crimson" not "giant white windbreaker with light khakis and white Reeboks." You look like an opened parachute, Kevin.
Iowa Head Coach Kirk Ferentz: Why? Because he's an overpaid has-been running an also-ran program who shirks the media and thinks he's beyond any sort of accountability in the state of Iowa. Also makes his son the tight ends/wide receiver/offensive coordinator...when he's not having him live in public housing.
Michigan Head Coach Brady Hoke: Why? Because he calls it Ohio. Then he loses to Ohio. He also turns what's supposed to be a Rose Bowl team into an 8-5 team that got singlehandedly bitch-slapped by Jadeveon Clowney.
Michigan State Coach Mark Dantonio: Why? Conspiracies, dorm fights, plays guys on probation/parole, doesn't smile, hates you, hates me, hates life, is ugly.
Minnesota Head Coach Jerry Kill: Why? He's from Kansas.
Nebraska Head Coach Bo Pelini: Why? Need I say more?
Northwestern Head Coach Pat Fitzgerald: Why? Insufferable, obnoxious, trollfucking dickhead on the sideline. Acts like a small child and stomps and shouts when he doesn't get his way.
Ohio State Head Coach Urban Meyer: Why? Loses Tim Tebow, "has health problems", "goes to spend time with family", spends more time with ESPN than with family, gets cured, comes to Ohio.
Penn State Head Coach BOB: Why? Look around.
Purdue Head Coach...: Nevermind.
Wisconsin Head Coach....ummmmmmmm.
On to the links:
- Michigan 74, Illinois 60: So the Wolverines Are Good. Yes, Tom, they are.
- Indiana gets key Big Ten Victor-y. Ha, see what he did there? Crimson Quarry.
- Indiana outlasts No. 13 Michigan Scoop. The Hoosier Scoop.
- Izzo on Oladipo: He's the Ray Lewis of basketball. We should hope not... Inside the Hall.
- Iowa falls to Purdue, 65-62 in OT. Hawkeye Sports.com
- McCaffery talks about the loss to Purdue. Hawkeye Report.
- Michigan makes a case for No. 1 and is now tied for 1st in the Big Ten. MLive.
- Jordan Morgan suffered a sprained right ankle at Illinois. MLive.
- Michigan State gets a transfer from a 300 pound defensive tackle.No, it wasn't JaMarcus Russel. MLive.
- The Indiana loss was painful for Keith Appling. MLive.
- The Gophers came up short in Madison when it mattered most. TDG.
- Minnesota gets a commit from 3-star wide receiver Drew Wolitarsky.TDG.
- Nebrasketball gets a home win over Northwestern.Corn Nation.
- Looking ahead to 2013 tight ends for the Huskers.Corn Nation.
- Northwestern misses a shot at .500.That's one way to put it. LTP.
- The Buckeyes get past Penn State 65-51.Buckeye Empire.
- A profile on 2013 Ohio State commit Tracy Sprinkle. LGHL.
- How Deshaun Thomas stacks up against recent Buckeyes. 11W.
- The Penn State v. Ohio State recap. BSD.
- Central Florida is supposedly going to join the Nittany Lions schedule in 2013. Centre Daily.
- Boilers hand tight to top Iowa, 65-62. Hammer and Rails.
- Purdue football recruiting: Daniels and Garrett Hudson.Hammer and Rails.
- Wisconsin 45, Minnesota 44. Bucky's 5th Quarter.
The B1G's new villain should be -
Tim Beckman (26 votes)
Brady Hoke (30 votes)
Mark Dantonio (26 votes)
Bo Pelini (57 votes)
Pat Fitzgerald (13 votes)
Urban Meyer (179 votes)
Kirk Ferentz (21 votes)
Kevin Wilson (5 votes)
Jerry Kill (2 votes)
359 total votes