I'm really straining to figure out something clever to write at the beginning of these. It's gotten to the point where I remind myself of a bad Simpsons episode where the writers made jokes about how the jokes aren't funny. Anyway. On to the WWBWWBD!
Candystripes for Breakfast
I'll be sitting in my favorite chair at home, waiting to hear how IUFB will rip my heart to shreds this week, as per usual. For this week's "What Candystripes Isn't Drinking", let's go with the good old-fashioned White Russian.
My daughter and grandson are coming home. Pretty sure I don't care about football this weekend. Might teach the boy how to drink apple juice from his Buckeye sippy cup.
Oh, OSU has a bye as well?
Yeah, so don't care about football this weekend.
I'm going to the Purdue jIowa game so you don't have to. I won't be drinking alcohol because I will probably be leaving shortly after the game. There is a solid chance that I will leave before the end of the game, assuming that it is a massive blowout like every other game this year (except MSU, oddly enough). I will drink some type of coke product at the game, so that is WIBD.
I'll be at home in Des Moines watching the game by my lonesome cause my pseudo-wife has to work. Iowa is playing arguably one of the worst Big Ten teams in modern history so I expect them to win by 13 points. Final score: 13-0. I'll be drinking Jack Daniels. A lot of Jack Daniels.
[Ed: I think the word you were looking for is definitely, not arguably.]
I didn't know blow-up dolls had gainful employment outside the home, Mike.
I'll be home in the Twin Cities, visiting family, celebrating the gal's birthday, and taking a weekend away from college football. Hitting the town in Stillwater on Saturday night, so maybe I'll catch the highlights then. Other than that, it'll be nice to forget for a while. If I watch anything, I'll tune in to PSU-Minnesota, since all of a sudden the state of Minnesota cares about the Gophers again. I'll be taking bets on how long that lasts.
Mike: HER NAME IS KIMI AND SHE MODELS LINGERIE IN THE WINDOW OF THE VICTORIA'S SECRET IN THE MALL.
At a Badger tailgate of all places, watching the game off of satellite. A bunch of college buddies are coming into town for the game and one of our mutual Madison friends has a sweet setup. Drinks shall probably consist of Spotted Cow and another New Glarus brew on tap.
I will be in Omaha, NE, just hanging out and watching football as much as I can. I have a lot of little errands to attend to, so we shall see what that consists of. For sure I will watch Nebraska get what is most likely beaten by the Wolverines. However, I doubt that I will be drinking too much. Maybe some Coke because Coke is better than Pepsi. I'll also probably eat chili and cinnamon rolls this weekend because it's cold and that's the most midwest thing I could come up with.
After having my heart stomped out by a 49 yard hail mary thrown by an overweight fifth year senior former walkon who looks like a 45-year old insurance salesman last week, I'm exercising my OTE writer prerogative and ignoring college football this weekend. I'll be in the Grand Rapids area visiting the in-laws, hitting up a big ski equipment sale, walking the dog, potentially going out for some clay pigeon shooting, and drinking Maker's Mark Manhattans when cocktail hour rolls around. And I'll be hoping that every other team in the B1G loses, because screw all of you.
/has a bye, is immune to Chad's curses
The prudent thing would be to finally knock out the neglected mountain of reading the research project for my LL.M. classes this weekend. Smart money is on that not happening. How strong is my procrastinate? Gentle readers, I seriously considered getting tickets for the Iowa/[REDACTED] game and driving down to West [Empty Set] to watch a game I have absolutely no interest in, just because I haven't been there and it would essentially only cost me the gas. The only reason I'm not doing that? Because I procrastinated too long to find a couple friends interested in making this quixotic trip with me.
So I'll be in the recliner, probably watching said OMHR throwdown or PSU/Minny, whichever isn't being covered by Mowins on ESPN2. Then I will rake leaves so as to not root for Michigan to beat Nebraska and make MSU's game in Lincoln an academic exercise. Except the leaves are metaphorical here because I'll put off actually physically raking them.
I'll be seeing how the other half lives this weekend, taking in a Pac-12 double-header. Thursday night I'll be at the Pac-12 game-of-the-year in Palo Alto (a great place to watch a game). What on the surface looks like a battle for Pac-12 supremacy and another step on the road to the title game for the Ducks is really a cruel, personal reminder to me of what could have been (Oregon being similar to what Rich Rodriguez was trying to accomplish at Michigan) vs. what might never be (Stanford being the standard to which Brady Hoke aspires). I like Oregon to come away with an easier-than-expected road win against the Cardinal (sorry Buckeyes). Saturday I'll be at Memorial Stadium in Berkeley watching Cal host USC. More cruelty awaits, as watching Cal (in their blue and gold uniforms) likely get steamrolled by Southern Cal will be a very familiar sight. Although, as bad as the Bears are - and they are really bad - I still don't see a nine sack or negative 50 yards rushing performance happening against the Trojans. USC rolls in this one.