Years of frustration, and this is your best?
...a Husker writer declaring he's not up to the test?
I admit my rhyme isn't all that great,
I wasn't hired to sing, just to continue to dominate.
I'll answer you all at once, I'll summarize nice and neat.
(Hit me with a beat...}
Ferentz has 1 win, does he even try?
You were only 2-13-1 with that pretender... Haden Frye.
You're a few seasons from "Never was," not a hopeful comeback.
Blame AIRBHG if you like, but running ain't the only skill you lack.
Don't live vicariously thru games other conferences have won,
I got 99 problems and a Iowa ain't one.
Sparty wants cred, but he's just 1-8,
you're just the little brother in a shrinking rusting state.
Sparty's problem ain't conspiracy and it ain't bad luck.
You haven't seen the Rose in 24 years because you just plain suck.
I don't care the Vest got caught, concealing a gun,
I got 99 problems and a Sparty ain't one.
PSU thought I would be their coach and lend them a hand,
but I coach a powerhouse, not a wanna-be brand.
You'll get to watch Williams... and Shutt... and Noah Spence play,
but instead of blue and white, my flips show Scarlet and Grey.
If you're havin NCAA problems I feel bad for you son,
I got 99 problems and a PSU ain't one.
Hoke's from Ohio, so he's a real "Michigan man"
No title in 8 years, against "Ohio" just 2-10.
For a big stadium the "Big House" is lame,
it even allowed the "O-H-I-O" chant during our game.
Your best is in your past, the Big 2 is now Big 1,
I got 99 problems and a tSUN ain't one.
Da Gophers 1-24, jNW's 1-28,
the Hoosiers have lost the last 18 straight.
In 2007 the Illini rose to the test,
but at 3-13, be glad you're in the West.
I am damn near unstoppable from your perspectives son,
I got 99 problems and your team ain't one.
Purdue - props dog - best recent record against tOSU.
It's sad when 3-7 is better than the rest of you.
Maryland's our new Ho, so give them some credit.
They'll need more than 50 wins in 9 seasons to pay their debit.
RU will help recruiting, but to compete with us you need more talent son,
I got 99 problems and a new Ho ain't one.
Bucky's 1-5 with 3 straight titles, but 2 weren't real,
losing 3 straight Rose bowls was too much for Biels.
Husker's only have 1 win in their history,
the sign of things to come... 38-63.
If you're stuck in a rut, I feel bad for you son,
I got 99 problems and bouncing back wasn't one.
I already had Braxton... and Hall to back up Carlos Hyde,
now I got stud receivers to burn you deep and outside.
Shazier owns the middle, your top receiver owned by Roby,
Spence and Washington will take your backs head for a trophy.
Kids would rather play for a Natty than your programs son,
I got 99 problems and talent ain't one.
The bottom line is that over 8 years, you've only won 10 contests.
On the bright side your athletes can't sell awards they don't possess.
You thought you'd have a chance after the NCAA forced a switch,
then I took your recruits and ran the table - how you like us now, bitch?
Call it arrogance, but I can't keep pretending you're near my level son,
I got 99 problems and a B1G ain't one.
/runs the table again
/flips your best recruit to his posse
/announces he has 9 guys who had better do it again next year