If you have kids in youth sports these days, you know what it's like. Everyone gets an award for participating. Well, there is no reason why it should be different in the B1G. So, with that in mind, sit back, relax, and read my season ending awards. I made up awards that ensure that every team can get an award. Well, not exactly. Hard as I tried, I couldn't find any award for either Michigan or Purdue. Fortunately, everyone else got at least something.
My awards are in categories described below.
Color Awards:
Color awards recognize the best team with each team color represented in the B1G. Since teams traditionally have only two colors, a team is eligible for only two color awards. Since our conference newbie, Maryland, can't seem to make up its mind as to what color it wants to be, Maryland is not eligible to receive any color award.
Best Red Team: Ohio State
Best Orange Team: Illinois
Best Gold/Yellow Team: Minnesota
Best Green Team: Michigan State
Best Blue Team: Illinois
Best Purple Team: Northwestern
Best White Team: Michigan State
Best Grey Team: Ohio State
Best Black Team: Iowa
Alphabet Awards:
Best "I" Team: Iowa
Best "M" Team: Michigan State
The "Real" "NU": Nebraska
Best "O" Team: Ohio State
Best "P" Team: Penn State
Best "R" Team: Rutgers
Best "W" Team: Wisconsin
Geography Awards:
Best Eastern Time Zone Team: Ohio State
Best Central Time Zone Team: Wisconsin
Best Team from a Split Time Zone State: Michigan State
Lewis & Clark Award, for the best team from the Louisiana Purchase: Minnesota
Delaware Award, for the best team that borders Delaware: Rutgers
Best Team in the Chesapeake Bay Watershed: Maryland
Best Team in the Ohio River Valley: Ohio State
Best Team in the Great Lakes Watershed: Michigan State
Beat Team from Indiana: Indiana
Mascot Awards:
Best Conference Feline: Penn State
Best Warrior Themed Mascot Team: Michigan State
Best Conference Amphibian: Maryland
Best team with an Agricultural Mascot: Nebraska
Best team named after a nut: Ohio State
Best Conference Varmint Team: Wisconsin
Update, 12/9/2014, 10:05 PM (new award): Best performance by a conference Varmint Team against Ohio State: Minnesota.
Other Fun Awards:
Nice Guys Finish First Award: This award recognizes Minnesota nice. Eligible teams include Minnesota and teams from states that border Minnesota. Winner: Wisconsin
Devil's Triangle Award: This award is based on a meme from our TFFL days. Over there, it was observed that Iowa inexplicably had Penn State's number, and equally inexplicably, Northwestern had Iowa's number. The joke was that in 2011, Iowa, so frustrated at constantly losing to Northwestern, made a deal with the devil to trade their annual win over Penn State for a win over Northwestern. And so, the Devil's triangle, consisting of Iowa, Northwestern, and Penn State, was born. Winner: Iowa
Best Team from a school with an on-campus ice cream store. This award recognizes the great ice cream debates we have on fan shots. Eligible teams: Michigan State, Penn State, Wisconsin. Winner: Tie between Wisconsin and Michigan State. NOTE: This is NOT to be confused with the school that has the best ice cream. That award goes to Penn State. Edit, 12/9/2014, 10 pm. In light of Wisconsin's performance in the CCG, Wisconsin has forfeited their share of this award. The sole winner is now Michigan State. This award still for the best football team from a school with an on-campus ice cream store. The award for best on campus ice cream is a different award, and the winner remains Penn State.
Turtle Soup Award. Illinois and Ohio State play for the famous Illibuck Trophy. In case you didn't know, the Illibuck trophy is a turtle. Maryland's mascot. So, the Turtle Soup award goes to the best team from among Illinois, Maryland, and Ohio State. Winner: Ohio State
I hope you all enjoy my attempt to have a little bit of fun here. If any additional award categories come to mind, please feel free to contribute. And, if you can find SOME award for Michigan or Purdue, please feel free to list it here.
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