Big Ten Power Polls
Power Poll Wrap-Up: Now With Graphs and Simpsons References!
Let's be honest. Two of the easiest columns to write (and get feedback from your readers) are 1) the power rankings column and 2) the pop culture comparison column. Much like that magical day when somebody got their peanut butter on my chocolate (or did I get my chocolate in her peanut butter?), it was predestined that one day these two great columns would be brought together...
If there's one thing true of Off Tackle Empire, it's certainly that we don't lack for boldness. Instead of covering one or two Big Ten teams, we cover (nearly) all of them. We don't eat just waffles, we eat baffles. Our tailgate recipes don't just involve meat - they involve deep fried meat. And need I even mention Bama's bowl predictions? I didn't think so.
So when we discussed how to present our final power poll of the season, the one that takes into account the results of all the bowl games, we decided we couldn't just do a standard poll. We decided to do it big. And do it with charts. Big. Charts. Oh, yes.
Below in this very special power poll you'll not only see where we ranked the teams after the bowl games were concluded but also what the rankings looked like during the season. Some teams hovered pretty consistently around one point, while others were... well... kind of Zooky. See what I did there?
A special thanks goes out to writer BabaOReally for his contribution of the poll's pop culture analysis.... let's get started...
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Power Poll, Regular Season Finale/Dexter Edition
Let's be honest. Two of the easiest columns to write (and get feedback from your readers) are 1) the power rankings column and 2) the pop culture comparison column. Much like that magical day when somebody got their peanut butter on my chocolate (or did I get my chocolate in her peanut butter?), it was predestined that one day these two great columns would be brought together...
It's been a crazy year in the B1G, and I thought it would be appropriate to wrap up our final power poll of the season with one of the craziest, yet best shows on TV--Showtime's original series Dexter.
Dexter is a serial killer. By nature, you should be repulsed by serial killers, as they have no redeeming social qualities--they're sociopaths, they brutally torture and murder their helpless victims, and there's a good chance they played with their own poop when they were a kid.
And since that describes Bret Bielema and his Badgers almost to a T this year, I figured it would be the perfect way to end the power polls.
Big Ten Power Poll, American Holidays Edition
Let's be honest. Two of the easiest columns to write (and get feedback from your readers) are 1) the power rankings column and 2) the pop culture comparison column. Much like that magical day when somebody got their peanut butter on my chocolate (or did I get my chocolate in her peanut butter?), it was predestined that one day these two great columns would be brought together...
With Thanksgiving coming up on Thursday, the Holiday Season has officially arrived. I love Thanksgiving, and I love Christmas. I think it's safe to say that they are the 'Big Two' of the American holidays. I know there are some folks out there that dread Thanksgiving, because for some of you it's one big, dysfunctional mess. Grandpa rips into your dad for being a loser, Grandma thinks your Mom was never good enough for her baby boy, and some crazy uncle who's done a couple stints in prison finally has a weekend pass and is hanging around, creeping you the hell out. Your sister is a pain in the ass and can do no wrong, while everyone thinks you're some pre-teen troglodyte that can't do anything right.
Once the alcohol starts flowing, Grandpa and Dad almost come to blows, Grandma calls your Mom a bitch, and Uncle Convict keeps eyeing your sister in this really, really, REALLY weird way. So you get the hell out of the dining room before punches fly and accusations hurl to go to the den and hang out with the one normal person in the family--the other uncle who's a big fan of football, tells funny jokes, and gives you a couple sips of beer without anyone knowing. And about two hours from now, he's going to kick the hell out of Uncle Convict, because 'that dumb sumbitch has it coming to him for looking at your sister like that.' To top it off, he was probably a helicopter pilot...or a lawyer.
Yeah, Thanksgiving is pretty cool.
Speaking of dysfunctional messes, on to our Power Poll!
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Big Ten Power Poll...Apocalypse Now Edition
Let's be honest. Two of the easiest columns to write (and get feedback from your readers) are 1) the power rankings column and 2) the pop culture comparison column. Much like that magical day when somebody got their peanut butter on my chocolate (or did I get my chocolate in her peanut butter?), it was predestined that one day these two great columns would be brought together...
As an American Man, there are five movies that you need to see in your life and be able to pull at least three quotes from, on demand, for nearly any situation. Those movies are Caddyshack, Animal House, The Godfather, Bull Durham, and Apocalypse Now. Know these movies and the key quotes from them, and you will go a long way in this world.
And after the week the Big Ten had, Apocalypse Now seemed more than appropriate. Back when I was a young kid, maybe 11 or so, I saw this movie for the first time and realized being an Army helicopter pilot was the coolest thing in the whole world, and that's all I wanted to do from that day on (the world needs ditch diggers, too). I didn't really 'get' the movie until years later, and I never got the stark depression that war really is until I had to, you know, go fight in one and deal with people dying and getting shot at and shit like that (was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?).
But ever since my time over there, I really came back with a new perspective on life--it's never as bad as it seems. For all the crap that we've had to deal with this week as fans (it's not personal, just business), at the end of the day I have a warm, comfortable place to sleep, good food is in the refrigerator, and no one is getting on my helicopter dead or dying with a hailstorm of bullets flying around my pretty, pretty face (Relax! Let's have some fun out here. This game's fun, OK? Fun goddamnit.)
So let's try and make some order out of this chaotic season, after the jump.
Power Poll, Post Week 10 - The Big Lebowski Quotes Edition
I'll admit, when The Big Lebowski came out, I didn't get it. I thought it was weird and disjointed and unremarkable. But like most Coen Brothers movies, you have to watch The Big Lebowski a good 5 or 6 times before you can truly appreciate it.
One of the things I love so much about The Big Lebowski is that the stuff that I laugh at when I watch that movie today, isn't necessarily the same stuff I laughed at the first half dozen times I saw it... not unlike the B1G. The things that I love about the B1G have changed over time.
It's actually not unlike this B1G season. The teams that we thought were great early, are not the same as we think now. Quite an interesting Power Poll this week. Our writers had OSU ranked anywhere from #1 to #5, Wisconsin anywhere from #1 to #4, and MSU anywhere from #2 to #5. Only 1 team was universally picked in the same spot by everyone... Indiana at #12.
Power Poll, Post Week 9 Pulp Fiction Edition
Let's be honest. Two of the easiest columns to write (and get feedback from your readers) are 1) the power rankings column and 2) the pop culture comparison column. Much like that magical day when somebody got their peanut butter on my chocolate (or did I get my chocolate in her peanut butter?), it was predestined that one day these two great columns would be brought together...
Pulp Fiction was a movie that when it first came out, it had to grow on me a bit. The first time I saw it, it seemed disjointed and kind of screwed up, but after I deployed to Bosnia, I ended up watching it a couple dozen times, and it's one of my favorite movies of all time.
Kind of like the B1G. It seems disjointed and kind of a mess, and some things seem out of order, but by the end, it will all come together and everyone will understand.
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Post Week 8 B1G Power Poll: The Gonzo Edition
"There was only one road back to L.A. - U.S. Interstate 15. Just a flat-out high speed burn through Baker and Barstow and Berdoo. Then onto the Hollywood Freeway, and straight on into frantic oblivion. Safety. Obscurity. Just another freak, in the freak kingdom."
I asked the team at OTE if I could take this week's Power Poll. I recently rewatched Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas and remembered just how awesome it is. This week goes out to a crazy week in the B1G, the Gonzo-like feel of the year, and the late great Hunter S. Thompson. Just like Raoul Duke realized, everybody is trying to get to LA, well Pasadena really, and it's going to be a high speed burn until then.
1. Michigan State 95 Points:
Raoul Duke: Don't take any guff from these swine. If you have any trouble, remember, you can always send a telegram to the Right People.
Everybody thought MSU was going down on Saturday, but they didn’t back down and won on an incredible play. Also, if Spartan Nation is correct on what went down with Delany and Co. in the week leading up to that game, then this is extremely on point. (link courtesy Seer)
2. Wisconsin 89 Points:
Raoul Duke: What was I doing here? What was the meaning of this trip? Was I just roaming around in a drug frenzy of some kind? Or had I really come out here to Las Vegas to work on a story? Who are these people, these faces? Where do they come from? They look like caricatures of used car dealers from Dallas, and sweet Jesus, there were a hell of a lot of them at 4:30 on a Sunday morning, still humping the American dream, that vision of the big winner somehow emerging from the last minute pre-dawn chaos of a stale Vegas casino.
Bucky fans are probably asking themselves the same thing right now after a trip to East Lansing. Were the cupcakes that Wisconsin feasted on before MSU all a drug-induced frenzy, or are they for real?
Post Week 7 B1G Power Poll - Godfather Quotes Edition
I requested the Power Poll from Ted this week because I've been dying to toss some Godfather references onto OTE. I actually like G2 more than G1, but I'm a bit out of the ordinary. The flashbacks with De Niro put things over the edge with me. Favorite scene in either movie? Probably when De Niro is following Don Fanuccia on the rooftop with that mournful theme playing in the background. Just.kills.me. Bill Simmons did one of these years ago and so if this is a knock-off, well, the sincerest form of flattery is imitation.
So let's go. The ranking is on the left, followed by points (in my world, different than Ted's world, less points are better)...And the quote follows.
1. Wisconsin, 12 Points (12 first place votes) - "Freddie, that thing can't be real."... "Sure it is. That's why they call him Superman."
Maybe Wisconsin should be called the brick breakers. Wisconsin is the B1G's BSD right now, don't you forget it. This is also one of my favorite scenes in Godfather 1 and 2, for two reasons. 1) Michaels "hand over the eyes" reaction when he realizes Fredo betrayed him, 2) The collective gasp when Superman comes out.
2. Michigan State, 27 Points - "Where does it say you can't kill a cop?"
And with this statement, Michael Corleone turned from pretty-boy war hero to...mobster. It's a ruthless comment, but absolutely spot on, as Tom Hagan acknowledges. Sometimes you need to get vicious, just like Michigan State's beating of Michigan on Saturday.

3. Nebraska, 34 Points - "You can act like a man!"
An authoritative older man slaps and verbally abuses a younger one. Are we talking about Don Corleone and Johnny Fontane...or Bo Pelini and Taylor Martinez? Just kidding, sort of.
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