Somebody is going to a motherf**king funeral.
Will it be No. 14 Ohio State, No. 18 Wisconsin, No. 4 Missouri, or No. 13 Auburn?
The Rivalry, Esq. is blowing out the door for an all intensive road trip to Madison, WI, leaving you to moderate this week's installment of the predictions competition.
Week 5 Obligatory Results
Week 5 Franz v. Filler winner FILLER
Graham reels it back in after a two-week hiatus in perspective. He leads 3-2 on the season.
Crystal Ball Call (pick of the week): Alabama by 6 (FRANZ/PATERNOSGRANDAUGHTER). The Crimson Tide didn't just win, they rolled. And Nick Saban wasn't the only one to make a statement. Franz and that Blonde chick made sure "You heard it here first." UGA 30, BAMA 41.
What were you thinking?: Purdue by 13 (BAMA HAWKEYE). Okay, so we all picked them to win too. You're just the unlucky sap to settle on the largest margin.
Here are our Week 6 Picks:
1. No. 6 PENN STATE at PURDUE 12:00 p.m. EST, ESPN
FILLER predicts PENN STATE by 20
The "Penn State Letdown?" game. Purdue has a few weapons (Tardy, the nicked up Sheets), Penn State has an arsenal (Clark, Williams, Royster, Norwood, Butler). Watch JayPa try to smash the ball down the throats of the weak Purdue LB corps.
FRANZ predicts PENN STATE by 13
The only studdering these Lions will do is on their routes. P-P-P-Penn State has showed it can handle a 5-wide attack, and Purdue's only shot here is to put 'em up fast. Here's a word of advice to (Boilermaker Offensive Coordinator) Bill Legg: practice the call-back routes. Your boys are going to be running them all night.
2. IOWA at MICHIGAN STATE 12:00 p.m. EST, ESPN 2
FILLER predicts MICHIGAN STATE by 11
The “Ringer Makes BGHP Throw Up” game. Since Cal, the Spartans have shot Ringer up the gut 40 times per game, with great success. Will Iowa be the team to slow down this smashmouth Spartan team? QB Ricky Stanzi and a good running game will keep this game close, just like Iowa’s last two losses.
FRANZ predicts MICHIGAN STATE by 7
I like the Sparty in this one, but you're bound to see a slug fest. The Hawks rank 43rd in the NCAA for total yards, averaging 406.2 a game. Michigan State ranks 44th, at 403.8. What's in a number? A whole lotta smashmouth.
3. INDIANA at MINNESOTA 12:00 p.m. EST, Big Ten Network
The "Hoosier Defensive Unit Challenge" game. The challenge is for Indiana to stop an opponent from scoring 40 points. In its last two games, the Hoosier D has given up 84 points and 912 yards. Quarterback pressure isn’t the problem; both Ball State and Michigan State pounded the ball up the middle relentlessly. No power running from Minnesota? No problem; QB Adam Weber is always efficient and the Hoosiers are mistake prone.
FRANZ predicts MINNESOTA by 7
Although there's no such thing as a "home dome advantage," The Rivalry, Esq. was impressed with Adam Weber's first-half composure in last week's away match against Ohio State. As it turns out, the dude's got some respectable numbers also. Just don't say he's middle of the pack, or this guy will kill, can, and feed you to his children in the middle of a long winter in Minneapolis.
4. ILLINOIS at MICHIGAN 3:30 p.m. EST, ABC
FILLER predicts ILLINOIS by 15
The "No Really, We Shouldn’t Have Won" game. Michigan’s fluke win over Wisconsin won’t budge this half of The Rivalry. Illinois is a better team with experience at QB and WR. And Michigan’s offense will make even Illinois’ putrid defense look good.
FRANZ predicts ILLINOIS by 10
The Wolverines have illusions of grandeur after successfully defillibrating their season in the second-half of last week's Big 10 opener. Illinois, by contrast, was a deer in the halidides at Beaver Stadium. Still, the Illini held their own against a 700 level Nittany Lion attack and defending the Wolverines will feel more like lining up against Ann Arbor's Go Like the Wind Montessori School junior varsity.
5. No. 13 AUBURN at No. 19 VANDERBILT 6:00 p.m. EST, ESPN
FILLER predicts AUBURN by 9
The "We Want To Be a Power Now" game. Vandy has athletes at cornerback and quarterback, while Auburn has struggled with its new spread. As one commentator said, "The Tigers have great linemen and big backs. Run the damn ball!" But alas, Auburn has sqeaked by a couple of SEC foes should survive one more test, thanks to its athletic defensive unit, full of NFL bound players.
FRANZ predicts VANDY by 6
I'll admit it, I have an insider connection on this one. My little sister's boyfriend plays for Miami (OH), who saw the likes of the Commodores in their August 30th season opener. He watched the film and here's what he saw: an all-conference cornerback in D.J. Moore anchoring a secondary that's the fastest in the SEC. Auburn, meanwhile, can't score -- they've been held under 15 points twice this season. On offense, Vandy is averaging 202 rushing yards a game. Tommy Tuberville better rent a copy of Robert Altman's Nashville because he's about to get strung up in a sea of successionists. It can't happen? That's what you said about Kentucky last year.
6. No. 23 OREGON at No. 9 USC 8:00 p.m. EST, USC
FILLER predicts USC by 17
The "We Hate Your State" revenge game. Thanks to its rash of injured QB’s, this Oregon team will start at quarterback Darron Thomas, a player they hoped to redshirt. Not a good sign against an angry USC team playing at home. My advice for Oregon: Run the ball up the middle. It worked for your Corvallis archenemies.
FRANZ predicts USC by 21
Yeah, down in leadership, and facing a re-focused army, this is going to be a long night for the Ducks. Want to know something funny? This unlaced bunch of swoops is the second best team in the Pac 10. Nice conference you got there. The Mountain West thinks so.
7. No. 14 OHIO STATE at No. 18 WISCONSIN 8:00 p.m. EST, ABC
FILLER predicts OHIO STATE by 12
The “TP’s First Big Game” game. There are reports that Jim Tressell wants to mix up the offensive line and rotate in the freshmen 5 star recruits. Jim, don’t mess with your O-line. You have Terrell Pryor, aka God, running the show now. Your offense is better then when you were playing the hybrid Boeckman/Pryor scheme. And in news that could be recycled from 1997 through 2008, this Wisconsin team is run happy and struggles when it has to throw the ball.
FRANZ predicts OHIO STATE by 7
This is a tough one. On one hand the Bucketes have a spark plug in Terrelle Pryor and an ignition in Chris Wells. On the other Alex Boone and the boys up front have struggled to provide pass protection rendering the scarlet attack frighetningly one-diminsional. Wisconsin is licking the wounds of underachievement. Expect them to knock some pIns down the lanes, and try to pull Ohio State's coverage to the sidelines so the tight ends can play up the middle. I say the Bucks camp in Madison, but it might have something to do with the fact that the Badgers just lost to Meechigan, and frankly, we just don't respect that sort of thing. Ohio State survives by the same 7 they lost by in 2003, and I get my ass kicked in a bar afterwards for wearing a sweater vest.