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2009 Big Ten Quarterback Rankings, Third Edition: cMONN I Thought We Were Better Than This!

I am extremely happy with the increased usage of Jerry Seinfield's "cMONN" in pop culture. PS3 commercials and comedians have mined this excellent use of overwrought disbelief. So to those who called the Big 10 a "rushing conference" with backwards offensive philosophies, I wanted to say cMONNN guys, get with the program. Look at Daryll Clark's arm, Pryors legs, Forciers wiliness, Kafka's versatility, and the overall improvement from last year.

2009 QB Rankings, First Edition: Optimism!

2009 QB Rankings, Second Edition: Back to Reality!

But alas, good defense, windy conditions, and the occasional drop has made my point somewhat moot. The quarterbacks are much better than last year, not to mention healthier. But they are making no impact nationally or on the NFL's radar. Also, I will now use the phrase "Ricky Stanzi's Third Quarter" as a way to describe someone's complete and utter failure at a certain task. No matter, you can still enjoy the third edition of my 2009 Big Ten Quarterback Rankings.

Make sure to go back and submit your picks for Week 10 of the Obligatory Predictions Contest. Weekly winners get a chance to write 500 words on the site.

Team Comments


Daryll Clark


Tore up Michigan with swing passes, using automatic checkdowns...then tore up the Wolverines with deep sideline routes. Leading the Big Ten in efficiency.


Kirk Cousins


Made a highlight reel play v. the Gophs, spinning away from tacklers and wafting a perfect ball into the end zone. Throwing an extremely catchable football and avoided the INT flu which seems to infect every QB that takes on the Hawkeyes. 


Mike Kafka


The great existentialist has moved up a shocking 5 spots in my rankings, basically on the strength of two things. 1) His running has become a real strong point after an early season aversion to running. 2) He refuses to turn the ball over nearly as much as basically every other Big Ten QB.  


Ricky Stanzi


Leading the league in picks, but also second in touchdowns with 13. His mechanics haven't suffered as the season as worn on, but his penchant for whipping the ball into coverage continues to amuse and astonish friends and foes. Basically I could have written the letters WTF and avoided writing the last two sentences.


Terrelle Pryor


Had his worst career performance against Purdue, but bounced back to look somewhat exceptional against Minnesota. I still can't get that third quarter in Lafayette out of my mind. He looked like Ricky Stanzi out there, giving the ball to the other team like Scrooge throwing chickens and money at the poor London residents at the end of A Christmas Carol. Ahhhhhh the specifics of my Dickens knowledge is a bit convoluted.


Scott Tolzien


Brother is dropping down my ratings here - that's what 5 picks in two games v. Iowa and OSU will do. It's good to see how confident he is throwing deep sideline routes, but it's bad how cavalier he is with the ball. Wisconsin coaches need to focus on some shorter routes so he can avoid the sacks and hits which come with the current offensive system.


Joey Elliot


Beat Ohio State - go forward one step. Beat Illinois at home - not so bad. Go 5-23 against Wisconsin and get picked off once during a 37-0 loss - take that step back. Purdue's receivers dropped approximately 8 balls, so Elliot can't be blamed for that. Statistically, having a much better season than we expected. Facing three pansies to finish the season will probably move him up the rankings. Consider - 281 yards v OSU, 313 v. NWU, 299 v. Mini.


Ben Chappell


Sports quite a low passer rating (3rd worst in the league) for someone who appears so confident at times. Shredded Iowa for a half with a mix of quick throws and skinny posts. The entire Iowa game was a microcosm of his season - dominant and dangerous early, flustered and turnover prone late.


Adam Weber


416 yards against MSU was probably a fluke, helped on by the porous MSU pass defense which has been lit up by basically everyone except Juice Williams. Weber's strengths were obvious when he had time to throw - the strong arm, the perfectly thrown deep balls. Than why is he at #9? Probably because he was so ineffective against Purdue, PSU, and OSU, compiling a "you've got to be kidding me" quarterback rating of 35 combined.


Tate Forcier


Tate has looked awkward and uncomfortable in 80% of Michigan's passing situations lately. Pretty much the only ball he's thrown effectively is the running quick throw to a WR waiting on the LOS. He's fallen farther than any QB in my ratings, but he is just a frosh.


Juice Williams


220 yards of total offense and 2 touchdowns versus Michigan showed a confident Juice, eerily similar to the Juice of two years ago. It was probably an aberration - He still isn't throwing the ball downfield well and the run game worked because Michigan has the Big Ten's weakest linebackers.