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Big 10 Offseason Shopping With General Sherman, Part 1

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If you haven't noticed, ESPN has pretty much given the keys to the Bristol Kingdom to ol' Bobby Knight. Football Gameday? Included. Seated in a recliner, breaking down hoops at his own pace? Deal. We have our own living legend on the Blog, General William Tecumseh Sherman, so why not let him have free reign as we try to make the offseason pass a little more quickly.

When Sherman goes shopping, here's what he values in his clothing and accessories: durability, usefulness, and for godsakes, no flashiness. So let's take a look at some Big 10 apparel and accessories that you might need for the offseason and the 2009 gridiron campaign.

Michigan State Armbands


Sherman says: "Dark, strong color and a classy line make these a must buy. And on another note, those Michigan soldiers fought hard for me in the Civil War, but their penchant for turning East Lansing into the Second Bull Run is dangerous. My boys could have used these to wipe their foreheads in Savannah."

Chris Webber Throwback Michigan Jersey


Sherman says: "This classically handsome jersey with its uncomplicated, unspoiled "4" teaches all you fashionista's that less is more. And C-Webb's insistence on calling timeout at an inopportune time teaches all of you fearful sissies that action, not hesitation, is the essence of a man. You hear that McClellan? Now go jump on Ebay and buy this."

Purdue Gold "Boiler" Hat


Sherman says: "When wearing a hat that says Boilers is not only socially acceptable, but also culturally normal, I think its a must buy. I'm beginning to like these Purdue boys."

Indiana Hoosier Bottle Holder


Sherman says: "If there is any Midwestern man who needs to drink, its the Hoosier, who currently presides over the worst football and basketball teams in the Big 10. This fiery red bottle holder will help any Hoosier survive watching March Madness, sans their team's presence."