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2011 Closing Arguments - Purdue


"I hear that train a coming it's rolling round the bend, but I ain't seen the sunshine since... I don't know when"  - Johnny Cash

I. Case History/Opening Statement

A. Case History

After a disappointing final season of Tiller ball in 2008 and equally dismal first season under the just as luxuriously mustached Danny Hope in 2009, the 2010 season was supposed to be different. It seemed to be as on Sunday October 18, 2010, the Purdue fans awoke to their Boilmakers at 4-2 (2-0 B1G) and on the cusp of bowl eligibility. Two of the three home games remaining on the schedule were against a shaky UM team and a historically compliant IU squad. Alas, player's ACLs in West Lafayette last season appear to have been constructed of balsa wood and the Boilers failed to win another game.

B. Opening Statement

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, in two seasons since 1945 that Purdue has been relevant (and or won a B1G title) they have had a transcendent quarterback: Bob Griese in 1966 and of course Drew Brees in 2000. Robert Marve was thought to be the next in that line, except he tore his ACL and then of course there is this. If not Marve, then maybe Caleb TerBush or Rob Henry or Sean Robinson can be the man to lead Purdue back to the promised land of bowl eligibility. Unfortunately, Coach Hope announced that Purdue will use a two quarterback rotation this season and as the axiom states, "If you have two starting quarterbacks, you really don't have any.' 

II. Discovery

A. What We Can Learn From Pop Culture

  "Mother of Mercy! I don't speak Japanese!"

It seems appropriate that Larry Templeton is a large man from Milwaukee, Wisconsin trapped in a foreign land (like West Lafayette) where he doesn't completely grasp the game he finds himself engaged in. Much like in Purdue's current version of basketball on grass, the Japanese contestants seem to understand and enjoy what is going on, even as they mutilate themselves. Indeed, like the fingerless contestants at the end who dance while impervious to the pain, we know that Purdue fans will joyfully follow their Boilers and bang on their big drum even as innumerable players drop from injuries all around them. That the game show takes place in Japan, home to a citizenry that is fairly or unfairly stereotyped as studious and smart (see "Cradle of Astronauts") seems to make this scene from popular culture especially fitting. 

III. Emotional Plea

No matter what happens this football season, Purdue should be fun to watch as Danny Hope's wild mustache ride is always a entertaining one. They'll hang tough against a team they aren't supposed to and maybe even steal a win here or there.The story lines wrapped around this season are especially compelling: Can a young defense that gave up 345 points and lost its (and maybe the B1G's) best player get any better? or worse? Can one of the six QB's on the depth chart find a home under center or will Hope use a dartboard on the sideline to determine which player to put in for a given series of downs? With the UMiami/Marve saga unfolding, what are the Vegas odds on having a Purdue QB declared ineligible for the season for the third year in a row? Will the angry, Purdue ACL hating god take a nap this season? Is Purdue's next coach required to sport a gray soup strainer as well, or is the Wilford Brimely look officially passe?

Love 'em or hate 'em Purdue and their faithful will always keep us entertained. And isn't that really all we can ask out of the time we dedicate to college football on autumn Saturdays; to be entertained?


IV. Verdict

A. The Staff Calls the Games

Many of the staff here at the OTE see another long season ahead for the Boilermakers. Even with Paterno Ave's wildly optimistic prediction and my negative one, the staff predictions average out to 4-8 (2-6 B1G)*. Collectively we are certain Purdue will beat Middle Tennessee State (MTSU), Southeastern Missouri State (SEMO), Rice and Indiana and lose to Notre Dame. Most of us are sure that Purdue will be a bad team this year (although not historically inept) but two of us are convinced Purdue will make a bowl game. Purdue followers take heart as your team has effectively hung our jury. 

Bama Hawkeye   7-5 (4-4 B1G) wins over MTSU, Rice, SEMO, Minn, ILL, UW, Ind

Ted Glover 4-8 (1-7 B1G)* wins over MTSU, Rice, SEMO, Ind

Jonathan Franz 4-8 (1-7 B1G) wins over MTSU, Rice, SEMO, Ind 

Chadnudj 5-7 (2-6 B1G) wins over MTSU, Rice, SEMO, UMich, Ind

MSUlaxer27 1-11 (0-8 B1G) win over Rice

Ricardo Efendi 3-9 (1-7 B1G)* wins over MTSU, SEMO, Minn

Paterno Ave 8-4 (5-3 B1G) wins over MTSU, Rice, SEMO, Minn, ILL, Iowa, PSU, Ind

KennardHusker 5-7 (2-6 B1G) wins over MTSU, Rice, SEMO, Minn, ILL

Hilary Lee 4-8 (1-7 B1G) wins over MTSU, Rice, SEMO, Minn

JDMill 4-8 (2-6 B1G) wins over MTSU, Rice, SEMO, Ind

Graham Filler 4-8 (2-6 B1G) wins over MTSU, SEMO, Minn, Iowa

*Subject to change as Ted only listed six B1G team beating Purdue but said seven losses for the Boilers and Ricardo said six B1G losses but showed seven names.

For another preview using fancy statistics and other more rigid analysis see here: