Let's be honest. Two of the easiest columns to write (and get feedback from your readers) are 1) the power rankings column and 2) the pop culture comparison column. Much like that magical day when somebody got their peanut butter on my chocolate (or did I get my chocolate in her peanut butter?), it was predestined that one day these two great columns would be brought together...
How am I back in this job? I gave this up! And then, Ted Glover goes on vacation and I have to fill in. It reminded me of when Joan Holloway had to go back to covering Don Draper's desk for a while. And that brought me to Mad Men. So let's walk inside the offices of Sterling Cooper and see the Big Ten employees that get us to buy products that we don't need...
(with a huge thank you due to Bama Hawk Girl for making these matches with me)
1. Wisconsin - 118 Points (10 First Place Votes) - Megan Calvet
The new hotness, she's risen to heights not expected. And yet, doing so hasn't quite earned her the respect that she may have anticipated.
2. Ohio State - 107 Points (2 First Place Votes)
Has had a long stretch of success, and likes being the face and name of the company. Just lost a big, long-time account, and it'll be a challenge to see if he can still be the dominant player that he has been.
3. Nebraska - 104 Points - Harry Crane
Made his way in with the big boys by finding a need and filling it. Still not a full partner, doesn't get a vote, and gets ushered out of the room when all of the big decisions are made. Turns bright red in the sun.
4. Michigan State - 79 Points - Ken Cosgrove
He seems to have all the abilities of the other account managers, but there are times he just doesn't play the game as well. Some big lapses left him in a position where he's now a subordinate to those who once were his peers.
5. Penn State - 76 Points - Joan (Holloway) Harris
Knows the tricks, and can handle the office better than anyone else. Knows the power of a red head. Decided to keep the baby, even when many others thought that she shouldn't have (And yes, in this analogy, JoePa is a fetus. How is that for avoiding stereotypes.).
6. Iowa - 72 Points - Peggy Olson
Has risen far above her presumed opportunities by making smart decisions and working harder than everyone else. Seems resigned to the fact that there are limits to how high she can go.
7. Northwestern - 64 Points - Pete Campbell
Comes from money, and is not afraid to use that. Thinks that things should be handed to him and that at some point, everyone will work for him. Hangs out with pretentious frat buddies with names like HoHo. Has a wife/coach who is far better than he deserves and who is really running the show.
8. Michigan - 55 Points - Bertrand Cooper
He started the firm, sold out, and then decided to start again. He gets easily annoyed by the games that Sterling plays, as well as the hubris of the young turks coming up. Has weird issues with shoes.
9. Illinois - 45 Points - Paul Kinsey
At one point, he seemed hip and cutting edge. Looking back, he was utterly dispensable.
10. Minnesota - 29 Points - Fred Rumson
Just when you think that he's about to get a big win, he dribbles it down his pants leg. May be in a more stable place now than where he was a couple of seasons ago.
11. Purdue - 21 Points - Miss Blankenship
Got the job done, but not in the attractive manner that viewers were expecting. Health issues may prove to be too big a burden to overcome. Had a history with Cooper that meant more to her than to him.
12. Indiana - 10 Points - Chauncey Phillips
And in this analogy, Duck Phillips is Jim Delany...
The Big Ten Power Poll was voted upon by the ten writers of this staff. 120 is a perfect score. 10 is the lowest possible total.