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Your Kobayashi Maru Of College Football Open Thread

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Can't stand the Catholics or the cousins? Come in here and join Team Meteor.

Most uncomfortable handshake in history? Most uncomfortable handshake in history.
Most uncomfortable handshake in history? Most uncomfortable handshake in history.
Matthew Emmons-USA TODAY Sports

For those of you that are unaware, the Kobayashi Maru scenario was an unwinnable simulator exercise in Star Trek II where no matter what choice the student made, it was wrong, and everyone died.

For those of you that don't know, might I suggest dialing up Star Trek II on Netflix tonight? It's the only Star Trek movie with the original cast worth a Tinker's damn, and if you're like me, it might be a nice alternative than the next four hours of Alabama and Notre Dame fellation we'll get from ESPN.

On the other hand, college football ends tonight with two of the most storied programs in the history of the sport try to out-hubris each other for their umpteenth title.

Yay.

There is no scenario in which these teams can tie, so I have a few options:

1) Stick to my Midwest roots and cheer against Alabama.

2) Cheer against Notre Dame and listen to SEC blah blah blah for another year.

3) Hope Urban Meyer is unharmed in the meteor strike.

Not sure what to do, or if I'll even watch the game, But if you want to hang out in a place with a bunch of folks that want both teams to lose, I doubt you'll find a better place than this for the next few hours.

But enjoy this game, because it is the last meaningful football you'll see for 8 months.