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OTE Staff Picks, Week 13

The Battle for Paul Bunyan's Axe, Ohio State's offense versus an empty field, Michigan State versus an infinite void of sadness, Michigan, Iowa, and Nebraska jockey for bowl position while Penn State plays for...whatever it is you play for at this point in their season, and last and most certainly least, the #B1GSlapfight wherein a team takes home the coveted File Not Found Trophy! To the picks!

There she is, boys.
There she is, boys.

#13 Michigan State @ Northwestern: OTE Staff Picks MSU (8) over Northwestern (1)

Aaron Yorke: The 'Cats lose another heartbreaker because they have played pretty well at home this season and that will continue. MSU sneaks away 20-17.

MNWildcat: I don't know... Northwestern has a statistically better offense (I know, right?) that Michigan State, and if they can bottle up Connor Cook, this could be a game. Just kidding. Michigan State will, of course, annihilate Northwestern. The Spartans are only allowing 27% of third downs to convert, 2nd in the nation, and Northwestern is converting under 40%. Look for the Spartans to get another pick-6. Spartans, 20-6.

Hilary Lee: NU. Only because it is totally that kind of season for Northwestern.

GoAUpher: You can do this Northwestern. It's up to you to take the .00000001% (approximately) shot Minnesota has of winning a share of the division and make it a .001% chance. You're due after all. Unfortunately, given this season I think that means you're due for another kick to the nuts. Michigan State executes a bizarre quadruple reverse and wins 27-14.

C4B: The Galaxy's Best D vs. Chicago's Indian Burial Ground team (no, the purple one): I think I said it all. MSU 33, NW 10.

C.E. Bell: MSU....but watch, Northwestern will find a way to lose this painfully. Also watch as Northwestern makes a bowl game at 5-7 thanks to their high APR score, because that shit would be awesome.

Green Akers: MSU. With how this season's gone, how does Northwestern get out of bed in the morning? Is the potential of a crappy bowl game really enough to spur them to victory here over a more talented team motivated to lock up the division? I say thee nay. MSU 31, Tearswestern 14.

Michigan @ Iowa: OTE Staff Picks Iowa (6) over Michigan (3)

Aaron Yorke: Two teams that will make for a good match, but I prefer Iowa's bruising style. Hawkeyes take it 28-17.

MNWildcat: Congrats on that win, Michigan. You're a terrible football team. Hawkeyes, 27-13.

Hilary Lee: uhhhhh. *flips a coin* ... *2 out of 3* .... Michigan it is then.

GoAUpher: After all the ugly football Michigan has played lately you kinda have to go with Iowa don't you?
Ok, Iowa it is. 24-10.

C4B: Somehow, this is a battle of bowl-eligible teams. No, seriously. I'm probably more shocked than you are. It will also likely be a shit-show of not quite epic proportions. Michigan 28, Iowa 21 (though I really have no idea what to expect from this game)

C.E. Bell: Iowa beats Michigan, despite the fact that the referees ignore the fact that Michigan's offensive line never stops moving the entire game.

Green Akers: Sure, Dileo's slide was cool. It's also threatening to be Michigan's best memory from the conference season- a desperation, last-second field goal where the refs blew an obvious penalty call to force OT against a team that's apparently got some vengeful sorcerer to apologize to. And let's remember that field goal brought Michigan to a grand total of 9 points in regulation against a mediocre defense. Take that clown show to an actual road venue against a stout front seven and watch the regression to -3 yards and a cloud of bruised Devin Gardner ribs. Iowa 27, Michigan 16

Avert Your Eyes @ Woof: OTE Staff Stops Cracking Wise Long Enough to Pick Illinois (7) over [REDACTED] (2), Which Means 2 Of Us Picked Purdue To Win A Game And Meant It, Meant It You Guys

Aaron Yorke: The Illini have shown a pulse lately with closer-than-expected losses to Penn State and Ohio State. There are no morale victories, but there is a difference between losses and Purdue losses. Illinois is a much better team and wins 35-14.

MNWildcat: 20-game losing streak? I hope it gets to get 21. I so hope it does. All 3 Illinois fans will be outraged at me. Boilermakers, 28-27.

Hilary Lee: one team doesn't exist, so, Illinois.

GoAUpher: Which do I want to see more? A terrible B1G losing streak? A terrible Purdue team finishing things the way everyone expects? Meteor? Temporary snow blindness even though there is no snow yet? Whatever, it doesn't matter anyway. Illinois' offense saves them from Kansas like levels of futility. Illinois 21 - Purdue 14.

C4B: The Game That Someone Has To Win (I'm pretty sure). Illinois 3, Purdue 2.

C.E. Bell: Purdue, because the possibility of making Beckman 0-16 in the B1G would still provide me joy in this season, and I want to hold on to that joy.

Green Akers: Illinois @ Purdue: Illinois. Part of me wishes I wasn't going to the MSU-NW game, just so I could keep closer tabs on this miraculous train wreck. And mind you, this is no normal train wreck- two trains, one carrying exclusively dumpsters and the other carrying thousands of tires, both of them on fire, collide in front of literally dozens of horrorstruck witnesses- that will be the scene at Ross-Ade. At least the home crowd will appreciate the trains, I guess. Hmm? Score prediction? Ionno. Why not make it worthwhile for anyone unfortunate enough to show up? Illinois 48 Purdue 40, 4OT

Indiana @ #3 OSU: OTE Staff Picks OSU (8) over Indiana (1, I see you C4B)

Aaron Yorke: Penn State has been the only B1G team to hang less than five touchdowns on the Hoosiers. Ohio State has something to play for. The end. Bucks 63-20.

MNWildcat: gawrsh, Mickey, it's not 2012 anymore! Buckeyes, 59-21.

Hilary Lee: OSU. But wouldn't it be a lol if the Hoosiers won this one?

GoAUpher: I think Indiana will improve on last week by making it 7 minutes into the game before being down 2 scores. Ohio State 66 - Indiana 24

C4B: Remember that trap I mentioned last week? Indiana 49, OSU 45.

C.E. Bell: Ohio State is rolling, Indiana has no defense. Don't over think this by looking at last year's game.

Green Akers: Something tells me Urbz won't allow the same lapse in focus that let Illinois back in the game last week. That's rather bad news for the Hoosiers, and we'll tentatively set the over-under of Mr. Hyde visits to the scenic Horseshoe endzones at 5.5. Chin up though, Hoosiers, as OSU's defense isn't as good as Wisconsin's, so there will be some stats to be had for you as well. OSU 63 Indiana 28

Nebraska @ Penn State: OTE Staff Picks Nebraska (6) over Penn State (3)

Aaron Yorke: My poor Lions are just no good on defense. Nebraska has beaten better teams than Penn State. The Huskers win 28-21 even though PSU is somehow favored by a point and a half.

MNWildcat: I literally do not know if I could care less about the outcome of this game. *flips coin* Nope, I couldn't. I called this at the start of the season as a game where Christian Hackenberg works the play action and Zwinak chews up big yards. Nittany Lions, 27-21.

Hilary Lee: blegh. Nebraska.

GoAUpher: If Nebraska holds on to the damn ball then I like their chances. Nebraska 27 - Penn State 14

C4B: (Insert actually informed commentary here.) Penn State 31, Nebraska 28.

C.E. Bell: Penn State, for no other reason than because it brings us to Pellllini, with Pelllllini or even Pellllllini a possibility.

Green Akers: This was a tough call because PSU is so much better at home...but Nebraska put up 28 points on MSU despite turning the ball over 5 times. That spectacular show of foot-up-own-assery would be tough to repeat, and PSU's defense is down to like 2 LBs and the guys in the stands who wear the Paterno masks. Nebraska 31, PSU 20

#19 Wisconsin @ #25 Minnesota: OTE Staff Picks Wisconsin (7) over Minnesota (2)

Aaron Yorke: Minnesota is on a four-game winning streak but I'm still not that crazy about them. However, the spread is too darn high. Badgers take the axe 31-21.

MNWildcat: The Gophers are only allowing 147.0 ypg on the ground, but a whopping 4.44 ypc. That's, um, not advantageous to what Wisconsin does. I'm still thinking of how many holes Zach Zwinak got against the Gophers at TCF. The Badgers will come at them from even more angles. Joel Stave throws an early pick, making it more interesting than it could be, but the Badgers chew up clock and bottle up Philip Nelson. Wisconsin, 38-22.

Hilary Lee: UW. The axe doesn't want to leave its home.

GoAUpher: Do I think Minnesota can win? Certainly. Do I think they will win? Not really. Is that going to stop me from going FULL HOMERSOTA and picking the Gophers? Of course not. Minnesota 35 - Wisconsin 34

C4B: This comes down to whether or not the Gophers can stop Wisconsin's run game. Don't let me down, Goldy. Minnesota 35, Wisconsin 28.

C.E. Bell: Wisconsin, but congrats to Minny for making me think about this one.

Green Akers: Wisconsin. Twuh? A matchup of ranked B1G teams in November? And pretty much the coolest trophy in the multiverse up for grabs? Nah, that's probably not anything Gameday would be interested in. Minnesota's a great story...and the last spunky little challenger to MSU in the division. So sorry, Gophs, even though we'll hopefully have it all sewn up before your game kicks off, my heart's with the Badgers today. Plus my head knows they'll beat you, probably pretty easily. Good luck catching Gordon and White. Wisconsin 35, Minnesota 24