Let's get right to it. Are Gordon Gee and Ted Glover the same person?
After a lengthy investigation, I have come to the conclusion that "Ted Glover" is a fictional character that Gordon Gee created and maintains. This post will show indisputable evidence that proves that Gee and "Ted" are not different people. After viewing the evidence, I realize that many readers will have many questions about my findings, and I will do my best to answer those questions at the end of the post.
On B1G expansion, Gee and "Ted" have very similar opinions. Some would say "eerily similar". Notice how both seemed to believe that the ACC was in trouble. Also, notice (or at least infer) that they both seem pretty happy about the B1G killing the ACC. Lest you think that I am making these quotes up, the names link to the quotes.
- Gee: "I think the Big Ten needs to be predatory and positive rather than waiting for other people to take away from them."
- "Ted": "I am of the opinion that if the B1G is going to expand further, go big or go home."
- Gee: "The blocking strategy is that we simply have now put the ACC in an almost no-win position."
- "Ted" (as "Jim Delany"): "Well, once the destruction of the ACC is complete, Notre Dame will be effectively blocked and unable to maneuver, and they will forced into conference affiliation."
- "Ted": "Because the ACC is going to die--it's just a matter of who will make the first move to kill it."
In his now infamous remarks, Gee had something to say about Bret "Bert" Bielema. As a shock to no one, "Ted" had similar thoughts.
- Gee: "Someone was saying to me, well, you know, Bret Bielema leaving … that was a blessing for Wisconsin and they knew it. Because he was under tremendous pressure. They didn’t like him. Barry Alvarez thought he was a thug. And he left just ahead of the sheriff."
- "Ted": "So, if anything, I'm going to make the argument that Bret Bielema has underperformed when given superior talent, never took Wisconsin to an elite level, and saw most of his success only when Ohio State went into the tank because of their own scandal."
As far as anti-Catholic vitriol goes, few (aside from KKK members) can compete with Gee's recent comments. "Ted" may be anti-catholic, but he is smart enough to not go on the record about it. Or is he?
- Gee: "I negotiated with them during my first term and the fathers are holy on Sunday and they’re holy hell on the rest of the week. You just can’t trust those damn Catholics on a Thursday or Friday. Literally, I can say that."
- "Ted" (after making point about ND losing national profile): "Somewhere, Martin Luther approves." (yikes!)
Remember when Jim Tresselball was in hot water for that tattoo thing? Here's how Gee and "Ted" responded when asked if "The Vest" should be fired:
- Gee: "I'm just hopeful the coach doesn't dismiss me." (which is a long way of saying no)
- "Ted": "No."
Let's look at some other ways that "Ted" and Gee are similar to prove my point about that they are the same person.
- Ohio State Alumni status: Neither "Ted" nor Gordon Gee holds a degree from OSU.
- Accessories: Gee wears bow ties all of the time like some kind of weirdo. "Ted" wears Vikings apparel like some kind of weirdo.
- Income: Gee makes a ton of money at OSU and I'm not sure how much money "Ted" is supposed to make in his "job". I do know that he recently took a trip to Germany, so he must be rich because those airplane tickets aren't cheap.
I think I have proven without a doubt that Gee and "Ted" are not two different people. I could find and show you guys even more evidence of this, but I think it would be a waste of time. You and I both know the truth at this point. So let's move on to the questions that I'm sure you will have.
Why would Gordon Gee create "Ted Glover"?
Gordon Gee needed "Ted Glover" because he wanted to try out a different personality. Many of us use anonymous "online screen names" so that we can say what we want on the internet, without fear of government agents showing up at our doors and arresting us for the opinions we express online. If you see someone on the internet using a real name, that person is a government agent (or someone is using a fake name that looks like a real name (like Graham Filler)).
Gordon Gee created "Ted" to have a much calmer and less foot-in-mouth personality than Gee himself. He wanted to see what life would be like if he acted like a normal person and didn't go spouting off like a stereotypical one percenter. As you may have noticed, "Ted" often fails at this and sometimes the real Gee's opinions come out.
How is this possible? I have seen pictures of "Ted Glover" or have met him.
This is possible because "Gee" has hired an actor to play "Ted" when he needs to make an appearance. Gee writes all of Ted's internet posts, but if he needs to make an appearance as "Ted" he hires this actor. I know the actor's identity, but I don't want to out him and cause his family to starve.
What are we supposed to do now? I like Ted's writing, whether he is real or not.
Don't do anything. I am not writing this so that "Ted" stops writing. He is one of the best writers on this site. Act like "Ted" is real. And please don't tell either "person" you know, as Gee might stop posting altogether. I don't think he will though; he is too arrogant and will just deny that he is "Ted Glover" if confronted with the evidence.
Why write this post if you want us to keep acting like Ted is a real person?
I just wanted to show everyone how smart I was for figuring this out.