clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

B1G Power Poll 2013 Week 4: The Boy Band Edition

Let's be honest. Two of the easiest columns to write (and get feedback from your readers) are 1) the power rankings column and 2) the pop culture comparison column. Much like that magical day when somebody got their peanut butter on my chocolate (or did I get my chocolate in her peanut butter?), it was predestined that one day these two great columns would be brought together...

Larry Busacca

A couple quick points of order. First, huge props to Graham for stepping in at the last minute last week and dropping the Power Poll. His knowledge of 1980's Actresses should not be overlooked and deserves its applause. I was born in 1984, bordering on 1985, and do not/cannot claim the knowledge that was used.

On the other hand, this week is right up my alley - Boy Bands. Now, it's not that I love Boy Bands, but I do have a decent knowledge of them. Plus, I have been on vacation this week and have been able to bother my wife about what comparisons to make. So, to cap off the Non-Con - more or less - I give you the B1G OTE Boy Band Power Poll.

15 Voters this week. Points are 12=1st Place, 11=2nd Place, etc.


1. Ohio State - 180 Points - 15 First Place Votes - N'SYNC

You are the epitome of cool and are probably the only one of the bunch that have any future stars in the making. Could you rise to the top with chart-topping hits and the best videos around? It's possible, but you might just be the best of a really mediocre crop of artists. Right now, you look to have the most talent of all of the others, but that's not saying a lot sadly.


2. Northwestern - 160 - One Direction

You are new to the top of the charts, but your squeaky clean image, talent, and good looks have gotten you far to this point. You might be all hype at this point - no one is sure what the difference between flash in the pan and lasting influence is anyways - but you're reveling in it and everyone has started to take notice. There is very little you can do wrong, so stick with it. Even if that means you start calling yourselves the best ever. People will buy into that for now.


3. Wisconsin - 152 - Boyz II Men

You are a powerhouse who has proven to be pretty consistent for a while now. Everybody loves your smooth stylings and your ability to smash the competition with the one thing you really do best - harmonize (or uh, run?). You have the chance to be something special and while you have already had a setback or two, you still can finish your run off being considered pretty awesome. You have got a chance to still have One Sweet Day. (Ugh, sorry about that joke.)


4. Michigan - 133 - Backstreet Boys

Always tied together with your rival, you have definitely seen better days. While you know what it's like to be at the top - and to have scores of adoring people who will buy all of your things at Wal-Mart - you also know what it means to hit rock bottom. Don't worry, though. You have new management who has convinced fans that you're back, and while you still don't look pretty doing it, you still get the people in the seats.


5. Nebraska - 116 - New Kids on the Block

Similar to your friends up North, you used to be the best. Heck, you helped make everyone else more popular and people around the world loved you for it. Now you don't seem to have the right stuff anymore and are just a sad shadow of your former self. Even so, fans will scream their collective faces off everytime you step into the spotlight - even when you're embarrassing yourself on national TV. Maybe this next comeback does something for your image in a good way, but it's probably the nail in the coffin for you. Let's all be honest, you're not coming back big time anytime soon.


6. Michigan State - 107 - Hanson

You're seriously talented. No one is doubting that. Unfortunately, you're also the laughing stock of the group because you look ridiculous every time you perform - seriously people, long hair like that was never cool. You have come close to being the top of the charts before, but it's probably too late for you. So long as you have one fatal flaw - yes, I'm comparing the absurdity of Hanson's hair to the absurdity of Michigan State's offense - you're probably not going to get much better.


7. Penn State - 83 - SoulDecision

Probably an underrated member of the group, you have reached the top before but are far from there in anybody's mind. I don't really have a lot more comparisons beyond that, but you should all stop for a moment and remember the music video for Faded. Also worth noting they're Canadian. Big Maple likes Penn State and he's Canadian. Coincidence?


8. Minnesota - 82 - Big Time Rush

Hey, remember when you stacked the schedule to look really good and convince people that everything is okay? Yeah, kind of like the time you decided that instead of going out into the real world, you made a television show that pretended to make you go through actual trials and tribulations as you grew up into a real band. Okay, this is a little bit of a stretch, but Big Time Rush is a joke of a Boy Band because they didn't really do anything but play one on TV. I'm pretty convinced that Minnesota is a joke right now - not because they might not have actual talent - but because with this joke of a schedule, they just seem to be playing a real team on TV.


9. Iowa - 64 - The Jonas Brothers

Remember the 2000s? You were shockingly relevant in that timeframe. I mean, you were kind of a big deal around then and everyone took notice. Now? Well, you have publicity, but mostly for a somewhat absurd amount of money your frontman is worth now. Or uh, something like that. I don't know, I'm comparing Kirk Ferentz and Kevin Jonas. It's late... Deal with it.


10. Illinois - 42 - LFO

Graham told me to compare LFO to Illinois. Why you might ask? Well, because we joke that Illinois can't have nice things, but they proved with the Cincinnati win that they got one nice thing, kind of like LFO had one big hit. And honestly guys, it was a heck of a hit, but that's all they get.


11. Indiana - 36 - The Wanted

We expected big things from you this year. You had all the proper hype, and a pretty fancy looking outlook. Then the year started and nobody knows why they thought so highly of you in the first place. Glad you came out and played guys, but there's a chance that you're already past the hype. I suppose there's always next year?


12. Purdue - 15 - Kidz Bop 98°

You are almost good enough to not be considered the worst ever, but let's be honest for a few moments. You are a joke of a joke right now. Sure we could listen to the original - which is super bad in and of itself - but instead we take on the annoying pipsqueak version because that's about as good as it gets right now for you. Nobody thinks you're good, but hey, I suppose things could always get worse... Well, maybe not, but that's why you are collectively considered the worst.