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Where We Be, What We Be Drinking: Week 12

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Where you at OTE?

So Canada. Such work. Such all night drive. Sleepy time.

Beer...Football?

GoForThree: I'll be drinking whatever they serve in the Dairy Queen Club, because I will be watching the Ohio State Buckeyes try to avoid a trap game against the Gophers at TCF Bank Stadium. Thank goodness I sprang for the club level, since kickoff temperature should be right around 20 degrees (and that's an optimistic prediction). I'm guessing hot chocolate and coffee will be the order of the day.

Green Akers: It's been a few weeks since I properly warmed my couch cushions in Detroit, so I'll tentatively say that I'll be doing that. Weather report indicates (brace yourselves) winter is coming, so it's time again to dig into the grain alcohol and fire up the apple pie. And now that MSU is presumptively out of the conference and playoff races, I feel a surprising sense of zen settling in. Liberated from trying to argue the B1G is worthy of sending a playoff participant when all empirical evidence suggests we aren't, I shall blissfully enlist on #TEAMCHAOS. Go Gophers, Go Owls, Go Illini, Go Wildcats, Go Meteor, Go Spartans, Go Indifference. Or don't. We're all just spiraling down the same cosmic toilet bowl into entropy anyway, maaaaan. So this is what Northwestern fandom is like. How very...dark.

Aaron Yorke: Go Owls? Really? As if they need any help. I'll be at home laughing at the Penn State fans who think Christian Hackenberg is still an NFL prospect as he throws away our chances to clinch bowl eligibility. I'd say punt on first down would be a legitimate strategy, but we don't have a great punter, so keep Hacking away I suppose.

I should add that I'll be drinking Yuengling Black and Tan. Everybody has a dark side, including Lager.

Mike Jones: I'll be at home in Des Moines hoping that Iowa bounces back against a hilarious Illinois team. I'll be watching for CJ Beathard to get some reps, Iowa to actually utilize a RB other than Mark Weisman and for Iowa's defense to be able to cover the perimeter. I'll be hoping for all these things. Then again, I'll be hoping to win the lottery as well. Iowa has a brewery out of the Amana Colonies called Millstream, which makes a few decent German beers. I'll be trying their Schild Brau Amber this weekend and will hope that it's better than Iowa's offensive playcalling.

MANWildcat: South Bend hahaahahahahaha I'm such an idiot. I will be traveling to Catholic DisneyWorld to watch my beloved Wildcats take on the Domers. It will be sad.

My weekend starts on Friday night at the Northwestern vs. Houston Baptist season home-opener, where I scored $13 tickets at half-court, 14 rows up. #NUera. After a couple Temperance Beers, the game will be downright tolerable. The following morning, I will head down to Millennium Station with three friends for #TrainGate, whereupon we will take seats on the South Shore Line and commence drinking our asses off all the way to the South Bend Airport stop. Cheap beer, mimosas, and a bottle of Fireball (hey, it's easy shooting) will likely put us in a right state of mind for the abysmal day to follow. A couple NUMBalums managed to secure parking passes close to the stadium (and here I thought you were supposed to sit in the back of church), so we'll be reveling in what I can only assume is transubstantiated Precious Blood before the game. In fact, now I'm bringing a couple bottles of Three Buck Chuck for that very purpose.

Oh God. Please don't tell my priest I just wrote that.

Candystripes for Breakfast: The schedule tells me Indiana continues to play football for some unfathomable reason, so I guess I'll be at home watching IU make Rutgers bowl eligible. Some number of cups of cocoa and/or cans of Cherry Pepsi will be consumed, but it won't be enough to make up for the season IU has had/is having. Nothing will ever be enough for that.

GoAUpher: I'll be back on my couch, which is a little sad since VERY COLD SNOW GAME is a definitely possibility. Seriously, current forecast is for 2-3 inches of snow blowing around during the game. I've been dying for a SNOWPOCALYPSE game since they opened TCF. I suppose I'll have to comfort myself with not losing any toes or fingers and having access to high quality beers. I'd love to break into some Darkness after having my first hit of the year last weekend, but Surly does not come to my neck of the woods. I think I'll track down something from Clown Shoes or Deschutes instead.

Jesse Collins: I'll be watching football from the couch. I believe that were hosting a pre-Thanksgiving, Friendsgiving this weekend - AKA Jesse's Suburban Family Thanksgiving - and so there will be some Saturday prep to attend to. That most likely means trying new recipes, drinking some wine, and just kind of chilling while I fret about whether or not Ameer Abdullah's MCL is healthy enough to attack a good Wisconsin defense. It'll be so fun. On the flipside, I'll also be going to the Nebrasketball home opener this weekend, which will make it a good weekend no matter what.

MC CLapYoHandz: I will be in Madison, where hopefully I will be over a cold in time to enjoy a day full of arctic temperatures and, shortly thereafter, another cold. Tailgating with my dad and brother as well as some old friends, drinking what is sure to be a combination of respectable local brews and an accidental Miller Fortune (worst beer ever?). Then Wisconsin and Nebraska will entertain me with one of those football contests, and I will simultaneously cheer for a Badger win and a very fast game.

babaoreally: Since Purdue is taking a week off, I probably won't watch too much football this Saturday. I will be at home playing board games with some people and drinking some home brew that one of the participants made. I don't know what to expect from it; it will probably be quite tasty.

DJ Carver: I'll be in college park drinking the rest of the punkin ale I have and possibly some bourbon first. That should keep me warm for the colder temps coming, although they won't compare to the game at Minny earlier in the day.

Brian Gillis: I'll be in San Francisco this weekend, relieved that I won't be subjected to another dog like last week's Michigan/Northwestern affair.

Ray Ransom: WHAT I WASN'T SLEEPING yes the report is in the fridge I'll make sure we synergy the rue de la paul...

...ahem...Pre-Thanksgiving shakedown and sleeping off the quarterly division meeting/week of buvez while I watch Rutgers snag bowl eligibility in its first inaugural Big Ten season (I informed you thusly). I'll probably be drinking the last of the delicious Jack-O Traveler Pumpkin Shandy while the family thanksgiving beta test group enjoys a proper Rutgers romp.

So, where are you going to be and...what...are the meetings...drinking dans la syngery...mais oui mon cheri...