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The Off Tackle Empire Bowlapalooza 2014: Word Association Time!

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Where your writers give some quick takes on all the games... and by quick, I mean really quick.

There are just too many of these bowls...
There are just too many of these bowls...
Ethan Miller/Getty Images

Once a year, the OTE writing team gets together to put something out that is so amazing and so interesting that we have to spread the information out across two pieces. In typical #B1G #Tradition fashion, I present you with the third (or fourth) annual OTE Bowl Word Association rundown.

The thing is, when I started this piece, I sent out all the bowls to the team without really thinking about the consequences. What would we talk about? How many bowls are there? Do we really have quick takes on 4000 (approximately) bowls? How many sad Northwestern fan references would MNW make? There were plenty of questions and not a lot of answers.

And so here you have it. This morning I have all of the non-B1G bowls. They are sorted by date (with all times Central as God intended) and you can see what our thoughts are because our thoughts are the most in-depth previews you can get... Or, they're just a preview. Later this afternoon I will have all of the B1G bowls rundown by the team. I invite you to sit back, make a few jokes at our expense, and join in the fun. It's Bowl Season! A great time of year.

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December 20, 2014 (All times Central)

R+L Carriers New Orleans Bowl || Nevada vs. UL Lafayette || 10 AM || ESPN

  • Aaron Yorke: It seems like the Cajuns are in this bowl every year. Maybe next time they'll play the SCLSU Mud Dogs
  • Candystripes for Breakfast: Snoozefest
  • Andrew Kraszewski: Does ‘R+L Carriers' make anyone else think of, like, a plague-spreading rodent? Maybe not what marketing intended to evoke.
  • GoForThree: Friend's dad drove for R+L. I'd rather watch him do that than watch this bowl.
  • Ray Ransom: Party towns; Party > Football; IRL Bowl is Really for Real
  • babaoreally: R + L Carriers, not to be confused with L + R Carriers.
  • Jesse Collins: Cajun vs. a Wolfpack? Wolfpack every damn time. They'd eat the cajuns alive.
  • MNWildcat: TYPICAL SUN BELT BIAS GETTIN' A SEVENTH HOME GAME TOO AFRAID TO COME UP NORTH

Gildan New Mexico Bowl || Utah State vs. UTEP || 1:20 PM || ESPN

  • AY: Aggies against Miners! This is as blue collar as it gets.
  • C4B: Doin' work
  • AK: Brought to you by the Plants & Minerals Extraction Board of America
  • GF3: And by the letters "U" and "Zzzzzzz"
  • RR: Comfort Fit; Comfortable QBs; It's a new Mexico, man
  • babaoreally: Gotta go for Utah State in this one. Former Purdue K Travis Dorsch is a prof there.
  • JC: And you get a bowl. And you get a bowl. And...
  • MNW: 20K-plus attendance, maybe?

Royal Purple Las Vegas Bowl || (22) Utah vs. Colorado State || 2:30 PM || ABC

  • AY: Vegas! With two highly competitive teams, this is the first sneaky good bowl of the season. Should be a blast.
  • GoAUpher: Sounds like a bowl Prince would sponsor. And no, I'm not bothering to Google the real sponsor or what they do.
  • C4B: What happens in Vegas...
  • AK: Team with a coach who bailed vs. team with a coach who didn't
  • GF3: This is a bowl game that exists.
  • RR: Sippin' on Royal Purple; Mountain Folks Playin' Ball; Mormons in Party Town?
  • babaoreally: Ram driving over buffalo.jpg
  • JC: Really good matchup. Oh, and TIL Royal Purple isn't an alcohol. This bowl is less fun now.
  • MNW: Utah goes to Vegas...hilarity ensues

Famous Idaho Potato Bowl || Western Michigan vs. Air Force || 4:45 PM || ESPN

  • AY: My favorite bowl name and also a chance for MACtion to be unleashed.
  • C4B: Too many bowls, too many bowls...
  • AK: ROWROWROWROWROWROWROWROWROWROWROWROWROWROW
  • GF3: Kid brother's Alma Mater vs. Directionl Mitten. DVR fodder for sure.
  • RR: Relative Fame; Rapid Potatoes Rioting; Bronco Meat Rations
  • babaoreally: Planes > Boats
  • JC: Row, Row, Row your boat gently down the stream, Air Force bombs you from the sky, now you're just a dream.
  • MNW: ROW ROW ROW ROW(s of potatoes)

Raycom Media Camellia Bowl || South Alabama vs. Bowling Green || 8:15 || ESPN

  • AY: Who? What? What is a Camellia? I just found out what Poinsettia is, and now this? Go MACtion!
  • C4B: No ACC team? But it's Raycom!
  • AK: Yep file this in the Who Cares folder
  • GF3: B-G-S-U-C-K-S (a well-known northern Ohio cheer). South ‘Bammer prolly does too, PAWL.
  • RR: Raycoms Raving Rabbits Run Rampant; Camellia sobs in corner; Souwling Alagreenba
  • babaoreally: If South Alabama wins this one, they may be the SEC East Transitive Property champs.
  • JC: Hahaha Camellia Bowl? Really? Like the, "Friends, but not friends" flower? Awesome. Also, is South Alabama shortened to USA? Because I'll root for USA.
  • MNW: What is a South Bama?

December 22, 2014

Miami Beach Bowl || BYU vs. Memphis || 1:00 || ESPN

  • AY: Looking forward to seeing a surprisingly good Memphis team for the first time this season.
  • GoAUpher: This one is the one in Topeka right?
  • C4B: Hope it's not on a Sunday.
  • AK: Memphis could be in the Big XII by the time this game happens
  • GF3: BYU in Miami? Heads will explode.
  • RR: Such Utah; So Tigers; Amaze!
  • babaoreally: BYU stands for Bring Your Umbrellas, cause it's gonna rain touchdowns!
  • JC: And you thought Utah in Vegas would be weird...
  • MNW: Mormons go to Miami...hilarity ensues again

Boca Raton Bowl || Marshall vs. Northern Illinois || 5:00 PM || ESPN

  • AY: I wonder if this is being played on FAU's campus? I was in Boca Raton once, and that's all that is there.
  • GoAUpher: Must. Resist. Old. People. Jokes.
  • C4B: Not quite undefeated? Here's your consolation prize: Boca!
  • AK: Sure, I'll watch this one if I remember it's on (I won't)
  • GF3: The average age in Boca will plummet when these two teams enter the city limits.
  • RR: Veggie Burgers; Underrated Green and White; Scared so scared
  • babaoreally: This could be a good game.
  • JC: Marshall was overrated all season and UNI was probably underrated. Also... MAGIC
  • MNW: lol remember when marshall was a thing

San Diego County CU Poinsettia Bowl || Navy vs. San Diego State || 8:30 PM || ESPN

  • AY: A Poinsettia is a flower, right? Might as well root for the Navy in a military town.
  • C4B: As is tradition.
  • AK: Once again, the uncontested winner of the Most Unwieldy Bowl Name Award goes to...
  • GF3: When 88% of your members are in the Navy, you don't invite Pitt to your bowl.
  • RR: San Diego in duplicate; Rushing so rushing; Longest name ever
  • babaoreally: I thought it was odd that a SDCCU branch opened up in my neighborhood, but I guess bowl sponsorship really works!
  • JC: My grandpa kept a Poinsettia alive for over a year. That's probably not super relevant here.
  • MNW: could actually be fun

December 24, 2014

Popeyes Bahamas Bowl || Central Michigan vs. WKU || 11:00 AM || ESPN

  • AY: Is this game played in the Bahamas? Is it sponsored by chicken or spinach? Can the Chips top the ‘Toppers?
  • GoAUpher: Why is this not in Louisiana?
  • C4B: Skip this whole thing.
  • AK: Note to self: put this at the bottom of the confidence rankings, having watched approximately 0 minutes of either team this year
  • GF3: First chicken bowl of the year!
  • RR: Wait a sec...there's a game played IN THE BAHAMAS? WHY AREN'T ALL THE GAMES PLAYED THERE?!?
  • babaoreally: Lothar, of the Hilltoppers
  • JC: Everything about this is stupid.
  • MNW: ...why

Sheraton Hawaii Bowl || Fresno State vs. Rice || 7 PM || ESPN

  • AY: The Hawaii Bowl just isn't the same without Hawaii.
  • C4B: Needs more Hawaii.
  • AK: Unfortunately Hawaii is too terrible to even make the bowl named after them. Or the state, whatever. Point is, Hawaii's bad.
  • GF3: Why does Rice play Fresno State? Not because it easy, but because it's the bowl they got.
  • RR: Hawaiian Rice; Fancy Hotels; Who will actually go to this game?
  • babaoreally: Would a Bulldog eat rice? Probably not, right?

December 26, 2014

Bitcoin St. Petersburg Bowl || NC State vs. UCF || 7:00 PM || ESPN

  • AY: In Soviet Russia, coins spend you. I'm not sure I'd spend any to see this game, but on the other hand, it is football.
  • GoAUpher: I still can't believe this is a thing.
  • C4B: Needs more Dogecoin. To the moon!
  • AK: Beef O'Brady's has fallen on hard times indeed if they had to give up the St Pete bowl naming rights. I hope the pregame festivities include George O'Leary making a sales pitch for Bitcoin
  • GF3: Much ACC. Such Florida. Great wow.
  • RR: DAMMIT GF3 I ALREADY DID THE DOGE THING...wait, maybe you did the doge thing first...the nature of the time-space continuum eludes me...Bitcoin's has a bowl? Bitcoins are real? I'm freakin' out...man.
  • babaoreally: Not interested in this one at all
  • JC: I'm starting to think there are too many bowls.
  • MNW: BITCOIN!

December 27, 2014

Military Bowl || Cincinnati vs. Virginia Tech || 12:00 PM || ESPN

  • AY: Too bad Army isn't good enough to play in this game. I'm sure the Hokies will pack the camo, though.
  • C4B: AKA, "The team we have in common is in the playoff, so there" Bowl.
  • AK: Cincinnati by at least a score. Wait, are we not picking? What is the point of all this again?
  • GF3: So if Indiana is the SEC East champion....
  • RR: Good Teams; Good Game; Maybe not the second part...or the first part...
  • babaoreally: Gunner Kiel will transfer mid-game and play on both teams.
  • JC: Did you know Virginia Tech beat Ohio State? BECAUSE THAT HAPPENED THIS YEAR AND OHIO STATE STILL MADE IT TO THE PLAYOFFS. SUCK IT BIG XII!
  • MNW: seems like the military should be here

Hyundai Sun Bowl || (15) Arizona State vs. Duke || 1:00 PM || CBS

  • AY: The only bowl game on CBS should be a snoozer. ESPN has no mercy.
  • GoAUpher: Terrible bowl location is terrible.
  • C4B: At least Duke gets to go somewhere warm.
  • AK: $5 say Graham ditches for another coaching gig at halftime if ASU is somehow losing.
  • GF3: Todd Graham stole the Shamwow guy's mic.
  • RR: Poor Duke; Poor Hyundai; Poor us
  • babaoreally: I feel weird rooting for Duke, but I feel weird all of the time anyway.
  • JC: Wait, Duke has a football team?
  • MNW: no fair. ASU gets home bowl name advantage

Duck Commander Independence Bowl || Miami, FL vs. South Carolina || 2:30 PM || ABC

  • AY: I know I said before that the Famous Idaho Potato Bowl was my favorite bowl name, but we've got a new challenger here.
  • GoAUpher: Wait, there's a BEARD BOWL now? I like the joke options.
  • C4B: I don't understand any of this.
  • AK: Of course those guys bought the naming rights to a bowl. Dudes will be bankrupt by St Patty's Day.
  • GF3: Capitalism at its nadir.
  • RR: Ducks; Gamecocks; Hurricanes...Feathers everywhere
  • babaoreally: Winner gets the superpower to command ducks
  • JC: Do you think either of these teams could care less about being at this bowl?
  • MNW: hahahahahahahaha miami is playing scar in shreveport hahahahahahahahaha

December 29, 2014

AutoZone Liberty Bowl Texas A&M vs. West Virginia

  • AY: Old Big XII vs. new Big XII. I like. Offense!
  • C4B: Defense optional.
  • AK: Truth. Justice. Free windshield wiper installation.
  • GF3: Car parts bowl!
  • RR: Offense; Points; Touchdown Orgy Party Sensation Fun
  • babaoreally: I think WVU wins this one.
  • JC: Remember when Texas A&M was a favorite for the CFP because they beat South Carolina? Me neither.
  • MNW: ouch-burning freaks vs. neo-nazi freaks. great.

Russell Athletic Bowl || (17) Clemson vs. Oklahoma || 4:30 PM || ESPN

  • AY: The ACC has held its own in the non-con recently, but I think they get tripped up here big time.
  • C4B: Clemson gonna Clemson.
  • AK: Hasn't Under Armour shoved this company out of the marketplace yet?
  • GF3: CLEMONS.
  • RR: Russell is actually Clemson's name; Oklahoma is OK
  • babaoreally: Clemson was named after a guy named Clem's son
  • JC: #BigGameBob
  • MNW: sure

AdvoCare Texas Bowl || Arkansas vs. Texas || 8:00 PM || ESPN

  • GoAUpher: There is something oddly satisfying about watching Texas play in a shitty Texas bowl game named the Texas Bowl.
  • AY: Charlie Strong is already starting to turn Texas around. This should be a solid test for the Horns.
  • C4B: Even if I could watch this game, I wouldn't.
  • AK: METATEXAS. Which sounds like a stage in a terrible, Texas-related disease which involves the involuntary wearing of a 10-gallon hat. ‘Yeah...dad's Texasitis metatexasastisized, it's real bad.'
  • GF3: Isn't Arkansas a mole Texas had removed?
  • RR: Texas; Texas Bowl; Texas; To understand recursion you must understand recursion
  • babaoreally: Bowl Bret
  • JC: We should've let the SWC survive
  • MNW: seems like Texas should play in this OH HEY WHAT A COINCIDENCE

December 30, 2014

Franklin Amer. Mort. Music City Bowl || Notre Dame vs. (23) LSU || 2:00 PM || ESPN

  • AY: Hooray for defense! There might not be many points scored in Nashville.
  • C4B: LOL@Notre Dame for being in the Music City Bowl.
  • AK: Win or lose, 40 dudes from LSU will declare for the draft and next year we'll all be like ‘OK, so this is probably the year when they run out of talent, right' and we'll all be wrong again.
  • GF3: Thankful my year away from Nashvegas is the year the Sidewalk Irish Alum descend en masse.
  • RR: Defense forte; Offense piano; Special Teams staccato?
  • babaoreally: Let's go Tigers!
  • JC: I'm not sure which of these coaches will make a more boneheaded move that turns into good fortune, but I'm pretty sure it will be Les Miles
  • MNW: NEEDZ MOAR MASE

Belk Bowl || (13) Georgia vs. (21) Louisville || 5:30 PM || ESPN

  • GoAUpher: Be honest, how many of you actually know WTF Belk is/does?
  • AY: Oh that's easy. Belk is a southern department store. ACC vs. SEC is surprisingly fun this season.
  • C4B: This might actually be a good game.
  • AK: God there's so many of these things
  • GF3: Mark Richt's crank must look like a necktie with the number of times he stomps on it.
  • RR: Old Big East Friend; SEC eats poop; Go Louisville!
  • babaoreally: I would like to see Petrino lose.
  • JC: "Fill out all the bowls," you said... I have lots of regrets. Also, I admit I'm kinda sad Nebraska isn't playi... hahaha. I can't even finish that sentence.
  • MNW: why are two ranked teams playing in this?

December 31, 2014

Chick-fil-A Peach Bowl || (9) Ole Miss vs. (6) TCU || 11:30 || ESPN

  • AY: Peach! Poor Ole Miss. At least they won the Egg Bowl.
  • C4B: Defense REALLY optional.
  • AK: Is this a game or a new menu item? Not that it matters since the only one in Michigan is somewhere in Rochester or something and ain't nobody got time for that.
  • GF3: Chicken bowl again! Cluck, cluck, TCU.
  • RR: Rebels; Horned Frogs; TCU wins mascot showdown and accordingly, obviously, the contest of footballs
  • babaoreally: Go Frogs
  • JC: #BigXIIjokes
  • MNW: hahahahaha bob bowlsby you suck

Vizio Fiesta Bowl || (20) Boise State vs. (10) Arizona || 3:00 PM || ESPN

  • AY: Good for Arizona getting a used-to-be BCS bowl after that showing in the Pac-12 Championship. Boise State should be decent competition.
  • C4B: Didn't this one used to be for all the Tostitos?
  • AK: If Pitbull isn't the halftime show of the most partyish of all the bowls, someone has failed. DALE FIESTA WORLDWIDE
  • GF3: Milan, New York, Paris, Madrid. Fiesta, Siesta, Chalupa, Tostada. Ay! (I just wrote Pit Bull's halftime song).
  • RR: VIZIESTA!
  • babaoreally: I would like to see Rich Rod coach his team to a win.
  • JC: I thought we had gotten rid of Boise State.
  • MNW: o/u on boise-in-fiesta-bowl clips: 58.25 [ed note: I have no idea why we'd put a .25 on an O/U, but I'm just the copy/paste guy]

Capital One Orange Bowl || (7) Mississippi St. vs. (12) Georgia Tech || 7:00 PM || ESPN

  • AY: Even without a passing game, the Jackets know how to run up the score. This should be quality entertainment.
  • C4B: Orange you glad you're not in this game?
  • AK: Sigh...could've had the Curmudgeon Bowl with Dantonio and Johnson. Flexbone 4ever
  • GF3: I hate this bowl. I hate Paul Johnson. Team meteor.
  • RR: Orange you glad you're notDAMMIT
  • babaoreally: Georgia Tech will rename themselves the Orangejackets for this game.
  • JC: I look forward to a SEC team looking confused by a triple option team.
  • MNW: seriously...

January 1, 2015

Rose Bowl Game || (2) Oregon vs. (3) Florida State || 3:30 PM || ESPN

  • AY: Finally Florida State as an underdog. Should be a good one.
  • C4B: Can they set the over/under high enough on this one?
  • AK: I wonder if TPD will be able to round up any witnesses for the savage beating the ‘Noles are going to take in this one.
  • GF3: Noles. Again. inexplicably. Because Oregon can't win bowls that matter.
  • RR: Rose Bowl; Big Ten?; Times They Are A Changin'
  • babaoreally: Can FSU come back from a 50 point deficit?
  • JC: Let's see if these playoffs are worth something.
January 2, 2014
Lockheed Martin Armed Forces Bowl || Houston vs. Pittsburgh || 11:00 AM || ESPN
  • AY: Someone should have found away to put Pitt up against Penn State in one of these things.
  • C4B: I'm sure there's something nice that can be said about this game. I just won't be the one to say it.
  • AK: I mean seriously there's like another whole page of these things
  • GF3: This is bowl you invite Pitt to, apparently.
  • RR: Pitt sucks; Still pissed about Savage; Did I mention Pitt sucks
  • babaoreally: Two great cities, two great teams. What a matchup.
  • JC: Guys, I'm sorry, I didn't know there were this many bowls.
  • MNW: le sigh

Valero Alamo Bowl || (11) Kansas State vs. (14) UCLA || 5:45 PM || ESPN

  • C4B: Remember the Alamo. Forget this bowl.
  • AK: Bill Snyder remembers the Alamo; he was having his first retirement party at the old mission when a great ruckus broke out.
  • GF3: After winning, Bill Snyder will attempt to rent a car at the actual Alamo, because the elderly get confused easily.
  • RR: Beets; Bears; Battlestar Galactica
  • AY: Apparently the Alamo is not considered the "heart" of Texas. Also, since when did good teams play in this game?
  • babaoreally: Hey Aaron, Purdue played Kansas State in this when KSU was in the top five.
  • MNW: go purple kitties /sobs

TicketCity Cactus Bowl || Washington vs. Oklahoma State || 9:15 PM || ESPN

  • C4B: This.....is a game.......that is happening........for some reason. (I got nothing.)
  • AK: Let's make up some Tim Kurkjian stats for this one. This is the first bowl named after a non-deciduous plant to ever be played south of the Missouri Compromise Line featuring two teams with the same number of consonants in their names.
  • GF3: Remember when Ty Willingham coached Washington? That was fun.
  • RR: Boring; TickleCity Bowl would be more fun
  • AY: I like it better when the bowls are named after things you can eat. Sugar, Orange, Fiesta. A bowl of sharp, prickly, cacti does not sound appealing.
  • babaoreally: How many of these things are there?
  • JC: The Cactus Bowl? Next you'll tell me there's a bowl named after a random city in Alabama. Sidenote: I'm pretty sure this game will be entertaining. Both of these teams can over and underperform without hesitation.
  • MNW: TicketCity-sponsored bowls are the worst sponsored bowls

January 3, 2014

Birmingham Bowl || East Carolina vs. Florida || 11:00 AM || ESPN

  • C4B: Win or lose, somehow Florida will find a way to embarrass themselves in this game, and all will be right with the world.
  • AK: To the question are there too many bowls: three are played in the state of Alabama. THREE.
  • GF3: This is a punishment, right?
  • RR: lol; Florida; just lol
  • AY: The zero upside bowl for Florida. Just try not to embarrass yourselves too much.
  • babaoreally: Florida made a bowl game?!?
  • JC: I blame this game on the playoffs. Just because the last game isn't until the 12th doesn't mean we let Florida have nice things.
  • MNW: seeing Florida get killed in Birmingham will be fun

January 4, 2014

GoDaddy Bowl || Toledo vs. Arkansas State || 8:00 PM || ESPN

  • C4B: I swear this game used to be in Toronto. That happened, right? I'm not just making this up?
  • AK: Take note of whoever Arkansas State's coach is, he'll be at Georgia or South Carolina in two years.
  • GF3: Suitcase U. vs. The Turnstile of Coaches.
  • RR: What is the truest nature of existence? It is found in Alabama. GoSon...Love, GoDaddy
  • AY: Usually these games are a chance for a team from a small conference to test itself against an opponent from a large conference... so I have no idea how either of these teams get up for this one. Holy Toledo!
  • babaoreally: Toledo had "Glass City" on their helmets for the BGSU game.
  • JC: IT'S ALL OVER PEOPLE! WE MADE IT!
  • MNW: we all know why this game exists