Bowlapalooza 2014: The Word Association Part II - The B1G!

By Jesse Collins, Aaron Yorke, Candystripes for Breakfast, Green Akers, LGHF, GoForThree, CRSeifert, babaoreally, and MNWildcat Dec 10, 2014, 3:00pm CST

Earlier today, we kicked off the 2014 OTE Bowlapalooza with a look at all of the bowls in play. You know, minus the ones we actually care about here. Of course, that was only so much fun and now it's time to get down to business. Again, as is #tradition, we have given the bowl and matchup and let the writing team say whatever it is they wanted to say. We invite you, friendly commenting public of OTE, to join in on the fun and enjoy the fact that we have football left to go!

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Zaxby's Heart of Dallas Bowl || Illinois vs. Louisiana Tech || 12/26 12:00 PM || ESPN

AY: Yum! More chicken. I guess they had to make up for giving the Peach Bowl back. Best chance for a B1G win?
C4B: Winning a bowl is a nice thing.
AK: Checker's uber alles, 2/10 will not watch
GF: Show me a good loser, and I'll show you Illinois.
GF3: Dallas is the most patently gauche city in America, and even they will hate Tim's visor.
RR: Nice things; Illinois? Does not compute
babaoreally: If they put enough seasoned salt on this game, I'll watch it.
JC: I literally had no idea what a Zaxby's was before this preview, and I'm not convinced it's a nice thing.
MNW: ugh that could've been us. should've been us? ugh.

Quick Lane Bowl || Rutgers vs. North Carolina || 12/26 3:30 PM || ESPN

AY: Finally we get to find out what happens when a southern team heads north to take on the B1G in a bowl.
GoAUpher: I miss my PIZZA PIZZA BOWL.
C4B: Remember what Vince Lombardi said, Rutgers: if you can't win this game, you're out of the conference!
AK: I will probably actually go to this since I live in Detroit and won't have anything else going on the day after Christmas. It will be the worst $35 I've ever spent.
GF: Winning isn't everything, and thank God, because what then would Rutgers have?
GF3: SuperNova goes out not with a bang but a whimper.
RR: Scholar Knights vs. Dirty Cheaters; Students vs. No Shows; The Last Great Morality Struggle of Our Time
babaoreally: You should get front row seats for $35, Andrew.
JC: Rutgers, do us proud... or, you know, go ahead and be B1G and lose this game. #tradition
MNW: huh.

New Era Pinstripe Bowl || Boston College vs. Penn State || 12/27 3:30 PM || ESPN

AY: Yay! Penn State right in my backyard! My whole family is trying to get tickets, so hopefully the offense is competent.
C4B: Damn Yankees.
AK: Maybe PSU can finally get off this 20+ year bowl win drought they've been on /trollface
GF: Winning isn't everything, it's the only thing, except in this case, because wooooo we're in a bowl!!
GF3: Can bowls end in a 0-0 tie?
RR: Old Rival meets New Rival (SHUT THE CULT UP YOU'RE OUR RIVAL DEALWITHIT); Stole our favorite bowl...So much hate...so...much hate...
babaoreally: I thought Penn State couldn't go to bowls?
JC: Congratulations on being bowl eligible, now go to New York City in the winter.
MNW: o/u on punts: 16.5

National University Holiday Bowl || Nebraska vs. (24) USC || 7:00 PM || ESPN

AY: So does Mike Riley coach this game? Usually there's not a new coach in town yet. He'd probably have to hustle to assemble a staff.
C4B: The "Not Quite" Rose Bowl
AK: /shrug
GF: I firmly believe that any man's finest hour, the greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear, is that moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle - STOP IT WITH ALL THE FANCY WORDS AND FORGOODNESSAKES GO OUT AND FIND THE NEXT TOM OSBORNE AND TOMMY FRAZIERS SON GOODNESS.
GF3:
RR: A crossroads; one marches uphill, fighting against the pull of mediocrity; one marches uphill, begging Pete Carroll to come back
babaoreally: It was a lot more fun when Bo and Lane were the coaches.
JC: Um, Barney Cotton is the coach for this game... That probably won't end well.
MNW: of course, now this is the year the LLLL curse breaks

Foster Farms Bowl || Maryland vs. Stanford || 12/30 9:00 PM || ESPN

GoAUpher: San Francisco Bowl now, San Francisco Bowl forever!
AY: I kind of like Maryland here, but only because Stanford has disappointed me in my picks pool this year.
C4B: Good luck, Terps.
AK: Here's the cheat code for Stanford: They will try to run it straight up the middle. No, they don't care how many guys you put in the box. Stop that and you're golden.
GF: The measure of who we are is what we do with what we have. Which, after all the injuries, isn't much. We're going to get blitzed..
GF3: Turrible, turrible, turrible.
RR: 41-38; Why; WHY?!?!
babaoreally: I think this is a worse name than Kraft Fight Hunger
JC: Sure, this matchup makes all the sense in the world... One team plays close to home and the other travels from one side of the country to the other. Why not...
MNW: do not care

Outback Bowl || (19) Auburn vs. (18) Wisconsin || 1/1 11:00 || ESPN2

AY: I'm not sure they can make this spread high enough.
C4B: Over/under on Melvin Gordon rush yards - Wisconsin points: 175.
AK: This feels like the one I won't remember to flip to on NYD
GF: It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get up. Get up Wisconsin.
GF3: Stave gonna Stave.
RR: 500 Rushing Yards; Eleventeen Touchdowns; plays Saxamophone at halftime; Melvin Goddamn Gordon
babaoreally: No jokes here, this might be a good game.
JC: Well I'm sure glad that Wisconsin is great against dynamic spread attacks with multiple weapons at each skill position. Oh wait, they're not.
MNW: should be fun or something

Goodyear Cotton Bowl || (8) Michigan State vs. (5) Baylor || 11:30 AM || ESPN

AY: I'm not convinced Baylor's defense is very good. Great chance for B1G to make a statement here.
C4B: Green. So. Much. GREEN. (Obligatory Go Green!)
AK: Prize packages to the winning team include a lifetime supply of Egyptian cotton sheets; loser receives 600 old tires and must pay for their disposal.
GF: Once you agree upon the price you and your family must pay for success, it enables you to ignore the minor hurts, the opponent's pressure, and the 60ppg Baylor Bears.
GF3: Let's see what those 3-stars can do, Dantonio.
RR: Spartan Defense; Criminally Underrated QB; Cry Some More Baylor
babaoreally: I think Baylor will win this.
JC: The Spartans should use their bronze helmets for this game and confuse Baylor to no end. I mean, Sparty still loses, but we would get a good laugh in.
MNW: presented by Reynolds Wrap

Buffalo Wild Wings Citrus Bowl || (25) Minnesota vs. (16) Missouri || 1/1 12:00 || ABC

GoAUpher: I hate that B Dubs is the sponsor b/c I've been conditioned to think of them as tied to the Fiesta Bowl's crappy cousin. Perfectly ok with Minnesota being there though.
AY: The return of Citrus! Plus, good teams in a crap stadium is always a great storyline.
C4B: Ah yes, the "Team Meteor" Bowl. You know why you're here. Also, obligatory IU 2014 SEC East Champions mention.
AK: Well Gophs fans, have fun being revolted at hearing how many wings your players are capable of killing in the wing-eating contest.
GF: The achievements of an organization are the results of the combined effort of each individual. Or maybe just David Cobb just doing David Cobb stuff,
GF3: Maxx Williams. Full stop.
RR: Parmesan; BBQ; Wait; Football?
babaoreally: I think Mizzou has turned the corner since that loss to IU.
JC: I'd like to see Mizzou go 0-2 against the B1G. Make it so Minnesota bros.
MNW: nothing about my hangover will be cured by this

Allstate Sugar Bowl || (1) Alabama vs. (4) Ohio State || 1/1 7:30 PM || ESPN

AY: Nothing to lose for the Big Ten here. Cardale Jones looked awesome on Saturday, so I'm saying there's a chance.
C4B: Cardale didn't come here to play school. Alabama may not even be able to spell school. It all works out.
AK: ROLL DAMN SCHOOL
GF: The greatest accomplishment is not in never falling, but in rising again after you lose by 40 points to Alabama.
GF3: Make Alabama howl.
RR: League Avatar; Ascend the Mountain Once More; Do Us Proud Buckeyes
babaoreally: Come on Urban, beat the short man
JC: I'm already begrudgingly going all-in on Ohio State. I don't feel good about it.
MNW: should be Oregon/FSU

TaxSlayer Bowl || Iowa vs. Tennessee || 1/2 2:20 PM || ESPN

AY: Tennessee is eligible? Perhaps they've Volunteered themselves for a Hawkeye beatdown.
C4B: Can Iowa give the B1G a second win over the SEC? Only one way to find out.
AK: Does ennui have a name? Yeah, it's this bowl's name.
GF: Winners never quit and quitters never win. That's why we're sticking with Kirk Ferentz through thick and thin. G. Barta
GF3: $20 million.
RR: Hawkeye; Volunteer Slayer
babaoreally: Kirk Ferentz probably pays a lot of taxes.
JC: With the win, Kirk Ferentz gets a three year extension and a $Texas raise.
MNW: SORRY IOWA WINS OVER TERTIARY SEC TEAMS IN BOWL GAMES DON'T COUNT I'VE BEEN TOLD

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fin.