Yesterday was the last big slate of games before the holidays get into full gear this week, so naturally a few B1G teams wanted to give their fans some early christmas/festivus/etc. presents. While most teams got their fans nice presents in the forms of cushy wins, two were clearly not in the holiday spirit (or were perhaps already in holiday mode). Nebraska, Purdue: When we say "It can't get worse today, can it?", THE ANSWER IS TO NOT TRY TO MAKE IT WORSE.
I think I'm getting tired of the B1G cheering at this point in the season though, which is only natural as conference play comes around. Why can't we have nice things? I mean, seriously guys, all we wanted was for the conference to come out of the OOC relatively unscathed so that there was a solid 6-7 or so contenders for the tournament going into conference play. Now? I mean, I'm not sure the conference sends more than 4 teams, maybe 5 if we're lucky. There have been some ugly losses this year. Ugly. Actually, this reminds me. It's Festivus time. Given last night's two disappointing losses (everyone else won), I think it's time to air some grievances. For those of you who live in caves with no TV, here is a brief recap of the birth of Festivus:
So, let it begin! I got some real problems with you people, now you're gonna hear about 'em!'
Purdue: What value are you all adding? Your athletics stink! Football was absolutely terrible, and basketball can't even beat UNF, Vanderbilt, or Gardner Webb! Rutgers was able to beat Vanderbilt for pete's sake!
Nebraska: I got a real problem with that superiority complex you all have over there. Your coach was one of three or four who could perennially win nine games and you fired him?! What are you thinking? Then we all had some higher expectations for you in basketball, and you go losing to Incarnate Word and Hawaii? Get it together.
Iowa: You're not even the best in your state this year in football or basketball. Hell, your little brother ISU beat you in both and UNI wiped the floor with you all in the second half this weekend. Do you guys like letting us down?
Minnesota: You had a chance and blew it in football. Par for the course, but isn't your thing hockey? You guys don't look anything but average at that to me. I thought you at least brought the conference glory there, but you've lose to UM-D twice already and look to keep up the B1G motto of letting down.
Wisconsin: WAY TO LET EVERYONE DOWN IN THE CONFERENCE CHAMPIONSHIP GAME.
Michigan State: Some galaxy class defense that was.
Michigan: LOL Dave Brandon and Brady Hoke.
Ohio State: It would have been so much easier if you all could just have beaten VT.
Indiana: How were you all able to field a basketball team the first four games? Sheesh.
Penn State: Always creating controversies. Why'd you have to run through the Maryland warmups and create #handshakegate?
Rutgers: SCREW YOU RALPH.
Northwestern: Are you all good at anything?
Graham FIller has a list of grievances too, not nearly as long as mine, nor do they require explanation:
The voiceover guy who does ALL the voiceovers and can make anything exciting.."Mike Jones was just a man, living in the suburbs. Until one day...he forgot to brush his teeth...and his wife failed to remind him. This summer, get ready...Channing Tatum as Mike Jones in - Slowly Plaque Builds
So let's hear it: Air those grievances. After this football season and OOC schedule for basketball, I'm sure everyone has many. Points go to anyone who determines an appropriate way to dole out the feats of strength.