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The Battle For Delaware: Arguments Made, A Winner Announced

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#TRIVALRY

Danny Wild-USA TODAY Sports

To RECAP from this literary genius of a piece:

We are proud to announce THE BATTLE FOR DELAWARE, a three-way rivalry trophy between the esteemed institutions of Rutgers, Maryland and Penn State.

That's right, whoever exits the PSU-MD-RU rivalry with the best record retains ownership of our fine nation's first state, and all the rights, privileges, and Joe Biden smiles thereto.

And the fateful Pièce de résistance

In the event of a three-way tie, a formal debate between representative Big Ten bloggers from the three competing teams will be administered by the Off Tackle Empire Editor in Chief (or a designated proxy). Because a 3-way Q&A cage match is how we settle things 'round these parts.

Oh but there's more!

The victor of the series gains control of The State of Delaware, with the option to incorporate the state into their own. While this will drop us down to 49 United States, we're working closely with The Office of The President and the National Guard to make sure that the potentially annual coup is a bloodless one. Plus, we hear Puerto Rico really wants to get its state on.

Well, it's a three-way tie. So here we go. A formal debate. Hold on to your Revolutionary War-themed hats. A victor will be named in the...BATTLE FOR DELAWARE!

1) Which school of the three brings the most economic positives to the B1G?

AARON YORKE, for Penn State

Penn State has fans that show up to games. Do I need to say anything else? We may not sell out every game, but we'll get close once Coach Hype recruits some better offensive players. No, Penn State isn't near a big city like New Yawk, but we have enough alumni in places like NYC, Philly, and Pittsburgh to matter from a media perspective. Thanks to a pair of national championships and a 20-year head start in the Big Ten, Penn State is still the biggest athletic brand of all the eastern schools.

DJ CARVER, for Maryland

Economic positives? We bring two of the top 10 TV markets to the B1G, and let's be honest, that's why you wanted us.  Just wait for when the B1G renegotiates that TV deal and the new payouts for BTN come out, it will be ridiculous with the DMV included.  There is a reason that it was so much easier to negotiate the NYC/Jersey market and the DMV took almost until football season started: The cable companies knew that including the BTN no basic tiers was going to cost them $$ and wanted to get everything they could for it.  The B1G alumni base in the DC area is huge, which only helps economically in this regard.  I'd wager that DC comes close to rivaling Chicago with B1G alumni in town.

RAY RANSOM, for Rutgers

First off Your Honor, can I just say you're looking great today. Have you lost weight?

If it pleases The Council of Reason and Justice, I offer forth the simple facts: Rutgers is the only major football team in the biggest market in America. Not "potential" or "in the future" or "someday." Right now.

Exhibit A: Nate Silver's Top CFB Markets

Exhibit B: Nate Silver's Most Popular Teams in NYC

The representative of the team from Pennsylvania's claim that tTFP "matters from a media perspective" is laughable, as is his claims that butts in seats rivals TV revenue. Our Southern Brother from Maryland (*cough* 41-38 *cough*) is spot on. A game at Happy Valley brings in a cool $4,000,000 in top line revenue; a season about $46,000,000, all of which goes to the nits. The Big Ten's new television contract, including Rutgers and Maryland is projected to bring in an extra $14,000,000 per year, per school, for a cool net of $196,000,000 to the conference.

As per exhibit A, I think we know where that difference is coming from. What matters in matters of economics is pure revenue, and in this case, Rutgers is the one who is #UNRIVALED.

(brb I just made myself sick)

2) Tell me why your school will move out of football mediocrity soon.

AARON YORKE, for Penn State

Because WE ARE... PENN STATE! Was that cheesy enough for you? Penn State has shown to attract top talent even when hamstrung by sanctions, so now that all the scholarships are back, Coach Hype should be able to piece together some squads capable of competing with Ohio State and Michigan State. Maybe one day we'll even beat Maryland. Like I said above, the Penn State brand is a powerful one that should continue to attract quality northeastern football talent in the near future.

DJ CARVER, for Maryland

I have one-hundred-fifty-five-million-reasons.  $155M to be exact.  Maryland just dropped that on renovating Cole Field House into a state of the art indoor practice facility for football along with two outdoor practice fields adjoining along with a sports medicine school within and "entrepreneur" focus as well.  What that focus is within the building I'm not quite sure, but they're  selling it.  Oh, did I mention Kevin Plank? He's trying to turn Maryland into the Oregon of the east with his endless supply of uniforms and donations.  Speaking of donations, he just dropped a solid $25M to fund the above.  The dividends are already paying off, as Maryland landed the #19 OLB in 2016, who is the #11 player in the state who cited the facilities as a big factor in his decision.

RAY RANSOM, for Rutgers

Just like Your Honor's perfectly coiffured hair, Rutgers' future is looking good.

Simply put, we are the sleeping giant.

The current generation of football fans, players and coaches grew up in a world where mediocrity was the goal and abysmal play was the norm for Rutgers football. We are only beginning to enter an age where the best players in New Jersey grew up rooting for Rutgers.

The demographics basically split at 2006. If you were born before then, your dominant impression of Rutgers was national laughingstock. If you were born after, your dominant impression of Rutgers was Pandemonium in Piscataway. The current generation of top tier football players were born in the 90's and came of age in the 00's. We are nearing the inflection point.

Further, the top rivalries of the past 10 years have been Rutgers vs. UConn, Syracuse and Pitt, fine schools and decent rivals. However, they are simply not on the level of Rutgers vs. tTFP and MD, in terms of prestige, national relevance, and pure hate.

Once more...we are the sleeping giant.

3) Tell me why your fanbase is the best fanbase.

AARON YORKE, for Penn State

Well our fans are passionate... that's a good way to describe them. That's probably because we were all brainwashed at orientation to kiss Joe Paterno's rings, right? Seriously, though, I hate when people compare fan bases to each other. They're all made up of random people who arbitrarily decided to cheer for one team or the other. If I was a Maryland or Rutgers fan, would that make me a worse person?

Of course it would. Kidding. But my wardrobe would be a lot uglier. Fight On State.

DJ CARVER, for Maryland

The best fanbase? Well, for starters, we aren't brainwashed cultists who worship the ground the football team walks on.  Besides that, our fans are extremely passionate.  Maryland can be an electrifying stadium to visit.  Maryland is one of the most hated places to visit by opposing teams in basketball because the atmosphere can get absolutely terrifying for them, which definitely works in Maryland's favor.  That attitude transfers to football as well, especially when Randy can actually field a competitive team.  There is a buzz about the football team that hasn't been around it since Ralph's first few years when he rattled off three straight big seasons along with an Orange Bowl visit.

RAY RANSOM, for Rutgers

This one's as easy as Your Honor's easygoing fashion sense.

We're not Maryland or tTFP fans.

Maryland fans while about everything; literally every topic in the known omniverse. As for the Happy Valley Cult, I think that topic has been addressed to death, but if you need to know more about why Happy Valley is a hive of scum and villainy, I refer you to my Manifesto of Hate for tTFP.

Further, if you've watched any Big Ten Network coverage of Rutgers games, a common theme was the great football atmosphere on the banks. While we Rutgers fans know that the TSONJ faithful are a fun, generous, and spirited bunch, the newcomers to campus marveled at how well our fans represented, specifically our awesome students section.

Don't take my word for it, though. Ask anyone who went to a game (except the tTFP one, that don't count). I guarantee the vast majority of fans had an exceptional experience interacting with Scarlet Knights fans.

To put it another way, WE ARE...*barfing sounds*

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So there it is fans and now the moment you've all been waiting for...The announcement of the initial winner of the Battle For Delaware Trivalry is...

Hold on, what's this? No, no it can't be...

Jim Delany: HA! HAHA HAA! I'm the real winner of the trophy! I got y'all to join me and pool your terrible assets and now I make out like Gordon Gekko before Charlie Sheen screwed him! I visit five different continents in one day! B1G is short for Big Jim Gets rich! Who cares if that don't make sense! I'm out.

ed note: But seriously, Rutgers is declared the winner of the Battle For Delaware because if they don't win this, when's the next time they'll be awarded anything?