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It's Happening. I'll Be Hiding in my Basement.

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As of today, July 1, 2014, Maryland and Rutgers are, for better or worse, rich or richer, officially members of the Big Ten.

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I will be in my underground bunker, heavily stocked with bottled water, crackers, Ro'tel, and Barbasol, expecting nothing less than the stock markets to crash, all the clocks to reset to 1/1/1900, the missiles hidden underground in Wyoming to be unintentionally released on SEC headquarters, and a deadly plague to spread from Piscataway to Lincoln. See you fuckers on the other side.

What's that? You say it's just the addition of two schools for their money and TV markets, not a repudiation of all the rivalries and tradition the Big Ten has historically stood for?

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You get that revolutionary thinking out of here, comrade. When the monarchy is restored, you'll be the first to go. Today anarchy reigns, but tomorrow the B1G rises again.

I'm being melodramatic AGAIN?! Fuck off.

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See you all July 2...if we're lucky.