We avoided "burn mattress" levels last week. That's a positive.
General Guidelines for the Non-Con in 2014
No losses to non-AQ schools
2-1 against Notre Dame
Protect yo turf (no home losses)
Don't screw this up too badly.
We're done talking about it.
What I Want, Week 4:
(All games Saturday, all times CST, all rankings AP.)
Northwestern (no line) vs. Western Illinois (11am, ESPNews): Just shut up and win. Don't embarrass us.
Iowa (+7) @ Pitt (11am, ESPNU): I still think Iowa can slow James Donner and win this game. The Hawkeyes are a capable enough defense. I want a B1G win on the road.
#11 Michigan State (-45) vs. Eastern Michigan (11am, BTN): I want to watch the world burn. Go Eagles.
Purdue (no line) vs. Southern Illinois (11am, BTN): I want this game not to happen. Come onnnn, isolated lightning storm.
#19 Wisconsin (-27) vs. Bowling Green (11am, ESPN): I want to see Wisconsin eviscerate Bowling Green in a way that makes Kevin Wilson fly to Madison (Dane County Airport what up) and commit seppuku at midfield at halftime.
Maryland (-1) @ Syracuse (11:30am, "GamePlan"/ESPN3): This line has swung two points in MD's favor today alone, and I think Maryland can turn in a capable performance. I'm unconvinced Syracuse is the team from their CMU game and not their 'Nova game (27-26 in 2OT, for those of you keeping score at home). I want a Terps win.
Michigan (-5) vs. Utah (2:30pm, ABC): Just don't screw this up. Win. Any way you can, Brady Hoke. I'll buy you a Domino's large, whatever you want, if you win.
Rutgers (+6) @ Navy (2:30pm, CBSSN): You have a good run defense, Rutgers. Beat Navy.
Penn State (-27) vs. UMass (3pm, BTN): Win. Comfortably. Show you have an offense that Northwestern can exploit next week. CAN'T FEDEX YOUR WAY OUT OF THIS ONE, FRANKLIN.
Minnesota (-9) vs. San Jose State (3pm, BTN): Can Chris Streveler throw the ball? I don't actually care, because he's a Minnesota quarterback and that's irrelevant. Just win, Minnesota. Don't even worry about covering.
Illinois (-14) vs. Texas State (3pm, ESPNews): I want to not be followed on ESPNews by Illinois. Can that not happen?
Indiana (+14) @ Mizzou (3pm, SECN): I want Paul Finnebaum to explode into 100000000000000000 little pieces.
Failing that, I want Indiana to cover.
Nebraska (-7) vs. Miami Fluoride (7pm, ESPN2): I want it to be 1999 again. So does everyone playing this game. Alternatively, I want Nebraska to cover convincingly. That would be cool with me.
So How Will It Go?
What I Want:
What I Expect:
10-3. Seriously. It's gonna happen. Pick two of Iowa, Rutgers, Michigan, and Nebraska. But only two.
Burn Mattresses in the Streets If:
7-6. I've already sent for a new one.