This week you'll get our picks straight-up and ATS. And you'll like it, dammit. There's a one-pick difference between the two, as our esteemed Graham Filler decided not to pick ATS. Him being our omnipotent ruler, we'll just assume he'd have been correct.
Iowa at Pitt (-7)
Straight-Up: Pitt, 6-2 || ATS: Iowa, 5-2
MNW: Iowa's being given 7 points?! Against PITT?! Jesus, Hawkeyes. Look in the mirror. This is who you are when you lose to Iowa State. Irregardless, it's going to be fun watching these two bloated walruses of teams slap up against each other for 60 minutes. The Pitt rushing attack, led by national #2 James Conner, is running into the #6 rush defense in the country (2.26 YPC, 65.7 YPG). Meanwhile, Pitt has previously faced the #45 (BC), #76 (FIU), and #Delaware rush defenses. It'll be ugly, and I'm taking whatever the under is, but Iowa walks out with a win. Hawkeyes, 17-13.
AK: Pitt to cover. #TeamAbandonFerentz
KC_H: Pitt to cover
JC: Pitt - I actually think Iowa covers, but their current inability to run the ball - especially against Iowa State - makes me think this is a slog of a game. Let's say something like 20-16 Pitt
DJ: Iowa comes out of this with a win after an embarrassing loss to IS
GF3: When I was a kid, Iowa was a team to be feared. Now I'm expecting to watch Kirk Ferentz lay another steamer on the 50-yard line. Iowa's inability to run the ball in any direction other toward the sidelines hamstrings them. Panthers, 21-20.
AY: Iowa State hasn't been awful, so while the Hawks' loss in the Cy-Hawk game is disappointing, it's not "LOL" bad. Pitt wins 20-17
Eastern Michigan at Michigan State (-45)
Straight-Up: MSU, 8-0 || ATS: EMU, 6-1
MNW: Poor Eagles. MSU, 41-3.
AK: There's two no ways here: no way MSU loses, and even more no way MSU covers a spread that size.
GF: Michigan State
KC_H: MSU, EMU covers
JC: Michigan State - MSU wins, EMU covers (45?!?!), and we all go back to talking about how awesome Michigan State is or something like that.
DJ: MSU, but EMU covers. 42-0 blowout
GF3: Is Dantonio showing up for this, or will he just mail his instructions like an old game of Diplomacy? MSU, 45-7.
AY: Michigan State is a bit tougher than that concrete wall Eastern knocked down. Sparty is tougher than Florida, too. MSU wins 56-3
Western Illinois at Northwestern (no line)
MNW: Poor Northwestern (but for other reasons). Wildcats, 31-10.
AK: Dadgummit. If this isn't a win someone put MNW on suicide watch. [ed. Note: putting AK down as "leaning Northwestern"]
JC: Northwestern - So I don't think Northwestern is really so terrible that they'll lose to Western Illinois, but I also am not convinced Western Illinois is the most terrible team in the world either. This will be close for a half or so with Northwestern pulling away late. Probably a 31-13 score.
DJ: Northwestern gets the first win of the season after Fitzpatrick called them an embarrassment to the school last week
GF3: Western Illinois gets another chance to scare the B1G, but everyone's favorite position coach Pat Fitzgerald marshals the union to victory. Wildcats, 30-17.
AY: Western Illinois is 2-1, but one of those wins came against Canadian rapper Drake. Northwestern can rap too! Last name "than the Leathernecks," first name "A little bit better than." NU wins 28-7
Southern Illinois at Purdue (no line)
Split Decision, 4-4.
MNW: So, so tempted to take the Salukis. Purdue, 27-21.
GF: Southern Illinois
AK: I guess only losing to Notre Dame by 16 is a goodish sign for this team at this point. [ed note: putting AK down as "leaning Purdue"]
JC: Purdue - Apparently, SIU is the 16th ranked team in FCS. They also are scoring tons of points, which generally doesn't bode well for the Boilers. However, if that team that showed up and looked competent against ND comes on Saturday, I think Purdue wins. Purdue wins 30-24
DJ: Purdue.....Im sorry, but someone has to do it, SIU wins.
GF3: Salukis.What an awful name. That'll make Purdue's loss all the worse. SIU 27-14.
AY: Just as usual, Purdue played the Domers surprisingly tough. Just as usual, the Boilers go back to disappointing this week. PU wins 23-20
Bowling Green at Wisconsin (-27)
Straight-Up: Wisconsin, 8-0. || ATS: Wisconsin, 6-1
MNW: It'd really be fun to see Bowling Green throw the ball all over Wisconsin. Unfortunately, it's in Madison, and the Falcons allowed Tevin Coleman to rack up almost 8 YPC last week. Woof. Badgers, 47-17.
AK: Wisco to cover
KC_H: Wisconsin to cover
JC: Wisconsin - Has Wisconsin found a passing game? No? Doesn't matter, they beat BGU at home by a bunch. Wisconsin covers 45-13
DJ: Wisconsin, but BGSU covers
GF3: Now we'll see what BG really has, because beating Indiana doesn't count. Badgers, 50-21.
AY: It's hard to get a handle of Wisconsin right now. One game played against an SEC powerhouse. One game against a good (?) FCS team. One game on bye. I'm optimistic, so... Wisconsin wins 42-13
Utah at Michigan (-5)
Straight-Up: Michigan, 5-3 || ATS: Michigan, 4-3
MNW: Utah's allowing under 3 YPC right now, so it'll be fun to see if the Wolverines can set things up on them. The Utes have an average pass defense and an explosive pass offense, so they could give Michigan a game. I think the maize and blue are down, but they're not this down. Right? They can't be. Michigan, 27-21.
AK: We live in interesting times when Michigan only gives 5 at home to an unranked also-ran. I'll take Wolvie to cover (the good news on this pick is even if I lose, I LOL)
KC_H: Michigan to cover.
JC: Utah - Watching Michigan struggle against Miami (OH) and watching Purdue put up a legitimate fight against ND makes me think that Michigan might not be that good. I know, really deep stuff. Utah is sneaky good and could very easily shut down the Wolverines offense. Utah wins 24-10
DJ: I'm taking Utah to win, prove me wrong Hoke
GF3: Utah. Plain and simple. You know why Brady Hoke can't work at McDonald's? He'd have to wear a headset. Expect the UM secondary to get lit up like a Christmas tree at the Tabernacle. Utah 35-27
AY: The demise of UM is greatly exaggerated. Either that, or this is the day the "Power Five" becomes "Power Four." Oh, is everyone else already saying that? I'm always late with these things. Michigan wins 26-20
Maryland at Syracuse (-1)
Straight-Up: Maryland, 6-2 || ATS: Maryland, 6-2
MNW: Only 1-pt dogs on the road? Nicely done, Terpy. Take notes, Iowa. I don't know what to make of Syracuse. By virtue of their #beatemdown of FIRE UP CHIPS last week, they're orders of magnitude better than Purdue, but then again I don't actually know what that means. What I do know is that they struggle to throw the ball (5.52 YPA, 8.55 YPC), which isn't good, because they're running into a Maryland defense only allowing 3.05 YPC. Maryland, 30-20.
AK: I'm feeling the upset here. I'll take Maryland to win as a coin-flip dog.
KC_H: Syracuse to cover.
JC: Syracuse - I just don't have any idea how to judge this game. Both teams have looked good and awful this season, and I think that this will be a weird game. How about Syracuse gets the homefield pick and wins on a last minute FG 27-24.
DJ: Maryland avenges the embarrassing loss last year, #homer
GF3: I'll say it again...I'm astounded that Maryland and Rutgers are turning in the consistently good performances week in and week out. Last week could've gone better, but they made it a dog fight and we know WVU is no joke. Maryland, 37-30.
AY: Yeah, Maryland looked decent last week and SU played better in its road game. I'm on board. UMD wins 31-23
Rutgers at Navy (-6)
Straight-Up: Split Decision, 4-4 || ATS: Rutgers, 4-2-1, since we have one confused DJ Carver
MNW: Rutgers are 6-point dogs to Navy? Whatever. I'm buying the Scarlet Knights' defense after last weekend. TurNova doesn't show up, and Good Nova (or something more astronomical-sounding; if only I could think of what) tosses the ball around the park. Rutgers, 27-17.
AK: Cory, the word you want there is MegaNova. Navy wins, but I'll take the points and my 3-9 prediction isn't looking so outlandish.
KC_H: Navy to cover.
JC: Rutgers - I think Rutgers wins, but it'll be tough. Navy will be an obnoxious team to plan for at this point in the season, and it might take a while to catch onto the option game. Let's say 28-17
DJ: Rutgers wins, but barely. Navy covers the spread [ed note: ????????]
GF3: Rutgers are 6-point dogs to Navy for a reason. Navy's triple option is complex and Keenan Reynolds is the little chaos particle that ignites the whole mess. Rutgers won't be ready for that triple option in one week. You'll believe me about the 4th or 5th time Navy runs for 12 yards after the pitch. Navy, 27-17.
AY: The line to this game is a huge slap in the face to the B1G. Naturally it's up to Rutgers to defend the honor of the North. Ra Ra ALL THE THINGS. Knights win 19-14
UMASS at Penn State (-27)
Straight-Up: Penn State, 8-0 || ATS: UMass, 5-2
MNW: UMass is a bad football team. I don't care about Vandy. They suck, too. Penn State, 27-3.
GF: Penn State.
AK: Nits to cover, hopefully pretty easily.
KC_H: Penn State with UMass to cover
JC: Penn State - I think PSU beats UMass by a bunch, but the Minutemen have looked better as of late. Let's say 38-10
DJ: Penn state wins, but they don't cover the huge spread given.
GF3: The tone-deafness of a "Joe Out" by fans notwithstanding, the Nittany Lions roll easily over UMass. Penn State, 27-3.
AY: Dear Old State needs to get its offense on track or it won't be undefeated much longer. Nits win 31-10
San Jose State at Minnesota (-9)
Straight-Up: Minnesota, 8-0 || ATS: Minnesota, 4-3
MNW: Opponents have only tried to pass 43 times on SJSU. That average will go down this week, seeing as the Spartans are ranked 112th in the country in rush defense. Gophers, 23-13.
AK: Rolling with yet another redshirt frosh QB, eh Goofs? Well, this time it's not your fault at least. I'll take the points. [Minnesota.]
KC_H: Minnesota to cover.
JC: Minnesota - At this point, I'm just randomly picking numbers. Minny wins 20-10 because reasons. Also, Minnesota still can't pass the football.
DJ: Minnesota, and they cover
GF3: SJDU isn't a great run defense. They aren't even a GOOD defense. But my gut tells me Jerrysota will try to throw anyway to make some sort of statement. Ugh. Gophers, 17-10.
AY: Oh Goldy, how you disappointed me last week. How wilt thou compete in the West? Minnesota wins 27-20
Texas State at Illinois (-14)
Straight-Up: Illinois, 7-1 || ATS: Texas State, 4-3
MNW: Sure, Illinois. You can have this one. Illini, 37-14.
AK: Come on, Illini. Do a nice thing and cover.
KC_H: Illinois with Texas State to cover.
JC: Illinois - Hey, at least it'll be a FBS win, so yay Illinois! Lunt gets back on track and the Illini win 45-14
DJ: Illinois, but they don't manage to cover the two TD spread given
GF3: Illinois, in the immortal words of Judge Smails...you'll get nothing and like it. TSU 24-20 on three turnovers.
AY: Texas State only lost to Navy by a pair of touchdowns. Could be interesting.Illinois wins 30-20
Indiana at Missouri (-14)
Straight-Up: Mizzou, 8-0 || ATS: Mizzou, 6-1
/checks if Mizzou can run
///checks if Mizzou can pass
////13.48 YPC, 12 TDs
AK: Did IU pull out the win when visiting a MAC team? No? Then what do you think happens against the AFC Southeast PAWWWLLLLLLLLLLLL? Mizzou covers.
KC_H: Missouri to cover.
JC: Missouri - I had faith in Indiana and then they lost to BGU, so whatever. Missouri wins by a lot. 35-17
DJ: Missouri....and they cover. They're just better
GF3: Missouri loves company. They'll still be sort of lonely, since IU won't be bringing a defense to the table. Mizzou 41-30.
AY: Watch out! Mizzou is underrated again! Tigers win 42-20
Miami at Nebraska (-7)
Straight-Up: Nebraska, 8-0 || ATS: Nebraska, 5-1-1
MNW: Nebraska is going to somehow come out of this non-conference schedule looking like the class of the B1G West. I have no idea how, but fuck it all. Lincoln parties like it's 2004 or whenever Jesse said they beat the Hurricanes. Abdullah runs for 3 TDs and starts getting some Heisman whispers. Huskers, 31-20.
AK: I predict lots of Saved By The Bell and Kris Kross references as a throwback to the last time either team was relevant. Big Red covers.
KC_H: Nebraska to cover.
JC: Nebraska - If we're bringing back the 90s, how about 24-17?
DJ: Nebraska, and they cover. First B1G win! (Sorry Rutgers, you may of beaten the Illinois of the Pac12)
GF3: Nebraska...I hate to say, but I fear you're gonna blow this one. Please don't. PLEASE. Al Golden looks like he went to prison, lost a bunch of weight, and they gave him back his old clothes when they let him out. Don't lose to that. Nebraska 28-24.
AY: Rocko's Modern Life is a better 90s throwback, but this should be a decent game. Huskers take it 27-15