WIWNC, Week 5.

Can the Big Ten match its impressive 12-1 performance from Week 4? Math says no, but Nebraska says yes!

Get it? It's an AAU joke. It's early, it's Monday, and I haven't finished my coffee. Shut up.

General Guidelines for the Non-Con in 2014

No losses to non-AQ schools
2-1 against Notre Dame
Protect yo turf (no home losses)

Don't screw this up too badly.

Wha' Happened?

Indiana beat #18 Mizzou. At Mizzou. Hilarity ensues. Illinois needed a furious rally to beat Texas State. Tim Beckman gets a pat on the head. Utah took over the Big House after a long rain delay and beat Michigan. Hilarity continues ensuing. Minnesota still can't throw the ball. Don't matter, SJSU sucks. Other games occurred. Nebraska-Miami got chippy, but the Huskers came out on top. We're happy for you.

What I Want, Week 4:

(All games Saturday, all times CST, all rankings AP.)

#19 Wisconsin (-33) vs. South Florida (11am, ESPNU): Wisconsin will handle the Bulls, even as they're flying high off an impressive passable ugly, terrible, no good, very bad win over UConn in the pouring rain in Tampa. This is in Madison. Melvin Gordon and Wisconsin will brutalize South Florida. I just want to have some popcorn.

Rutgers (-11) vs. Tulane (11am, ESPNews): Proving that you can survive life after Paul James would be a nice thing, Rutgers. Run Desmond Peoples early and often and get back into your offense swing of things.

#9 Michigan State (-33) vs. Wyoming (11am, ESPN2): This is seriously an ESPN2 game, huh? The Cowboys survived an ugly win at home against Florida Atlantic. I expect another Michigan State romp. This team is gonna have a scary amount of offensive momentum heading into an October 4th date with what should be a 5-0 Nebraska team.

#22 Ohio State (-14) vs. Cincinnati (5pm, BTN): Let's see Ohio State come cruising off a bye week. The Bearcats struggled with Miami Hydroxide (see Michigan, you're not alone!) on Saturday and have yet to find a defensive identity this year. It might be a shootout if Gunner Kiel gets rolling, so J.T. Barrett pacing the Buckeyes is necessary. A few stops early would go a long way in setting the Buckeyes up to challenge Michigan State in the East.

So How Will It Go?

What I Want:

4-0. Self-explanatory. I also want Northwestern to beat Penn State, for what that's worth.

What I Expect:

4-0. Seriously. I also expect Northwestern to get blanked by Penn State, for what that's worth.

Burn Mattresses in the Streets If:

3-1. Bonus points if it's Ohio State.