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Mailbag - Pie Edition

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Hey all, it's mailbag time. Is it basketball season yet? Do you like pie? And why does everyone thing Maryland will be the last team to get a conference win? If you want some answers, we've got em!

You want pie? I gotcher pie, right here.
You want pie? I gotcher pie, right here.
Charles LeClaire-USA TODAY Sports

IIt's mailbag time again kids! You asked and we answered. Feel free to drop us more questions in the comments below!

Q: Is it basketball season yet? Gregory O.

Townie: Since you are both an Orioles fan and a Terps fan, I understand the question. But as a Penn State fan, I can’t answer it because fuck basketball.

Yorke: Bold prediction time: Penn State will win more basketball games this year than football games. Also, basketball season doesn’t start until baseball season is over. And baseball season is still going on because Mets.

Creighton: If your football team is disappointing you, then say hello to hockey season.

MNW: Why the fuck would you want it to be basketball season? WHY?

WSR: Yes, it is hockey season.

Q: Randy Edsall and Mike Riley against Kirk Ferentz and James Franklin in a bar fight. Who wins? - Detigers09

Townie: Edsall would get upset and storm out, rather than stay and fight. Franklin would talk shit and start the fight, but then delegate the actual fighting to Ferentz. In a Riley vs Ferentz fight, Kirk  actually lets Riley punch him in the kidney, so that he can land a strong right to the face. Ferentz wins ugly...6 to 4.

Yorke: Edsall starts off beating up Ferentz with a beer bottle before Ferentz counters with a stomach punch and tags in Franklin, who is ambushed by a clothesline from Riley. The Nebraska coach power bombs Franklin through a table and goes for the pin… but then we find out that it’s not Franklin in the bar. It’s his doppleganger, Keegan Michael Key! The real Franklin storms into the bar and smashes a bottle of Yuengling over Riley’s head before putting him in the pedigree for the win.

Creighton: Ferentz and Franklin start off slow. Kirk keeps ineffectively throwing same exact right hook hoping that at some point it will do some damage while leaning too much on the ability of his defensive stance. Meanwhile, Franklin takes a couple of nasty hits that probably shouldn’t have beat him. Towards the end of the fight Mike Riley runs out of gas because, while he lands a few good punches, he can’t quite figure out how to dodge any. By this point, Randy Edsall has already disappointed everyone and gone home. Ferentz and Franklin win.

WSR: Ferentz and Franklin, because while Riley would make some good adjustments mid-fight he’d make a stupid mistake towards the end that’d cost his team.

Q: It’s freakin 90 degrees today, is it too hot for a Pumpkin Ale? - WestCoast_RU

Townie: It’s never a good time for pumpkin beer, unless its brewed by Trappist Monks in a pristine Alpine setting. And even then...ewww.

Creighton: Pumpkin ale is an amazing gift from the beer gods. Enjoy it as much as you can before it disappears for the year. When you stop seeing it on shelves, you’ll know that egg nog and Shiner Christmas Cheer are right around the corner.

Yorke: You’re too far west to be rooting for Rutgers. Why would you care if it’s too hot for Pumpkin Ale?

WSR: Yes, because the best pumpkin beer is Summit’s Imperial Pumpkin Porter. Way too dark for a 90 degree day.

Q: What pie is best? - Batman42

Townie: I"m not a huge fan of pies, so I’d like to hear what my colleagues say. I like a good blueberry pie and pecan pie. But if meat pies, like pasties or empanadas are around, I’d rather have one of them.

Creighton: The correct answer is pumpkin, followed by key lime. Everything else is all crust. Also, does cake count as pie? Because if so…..carrot.

Yorke: One day at Penn State Hillel we had a chocolate cream pie for dessert named Doodycake Johnson. He was delicious.

C4B: The state pie of Indiana, Sugar Cream. Though I’d give you French Silk as a close second. Pumpkin pie is fine, but very seasonal.

MNW: No porn.

Q: Who is the last undefeated (in conference) B1G team to lose a game and Who is the last winless (in conference) B1G team to win a game? - waw

Townie: Great football question! We have five undefeated teams in conference play: Michigan, Mighigan State, Ohio State, Penn State, and Iowa. I expect Penn State and the two Michigan schools to all have losses by the end. And in a shocking prediction, I expect an undefeated Hawkeye team to play an undefeated OSU team for the championship. But remember, I’m in Vegas drinking…

There are also five winless teams in the conference: Purdue, Nebraska, Indiana, Rutgers, and Maryland. And unfortunately for the Terps, this is an easy answer. Maryland’s schedule sucks.They just fired their coach and things are not going to improve. If they aren’t careful, they could go winless for the season.

Yorke: I’m all aboard the Michigan train. That team has one loss on the road to the best of the Pac-12 and it has crushed everyone since then. The offense isn’t sexy, but it managed to move the ball on Northwestern, so that’s good. And we know the defense is not to be trifled with. Harbaugh will be the last man standing in the Big Ten. As for the winless team: That will come down to the Maryland at Rutgers game on the day of the regular season. I guess RU beats the Terps again.

Creighton: I think Iowa has the best chance to finish unscathed. If they can get past Northwestern, they have a very manageable schedule to finish the regular season. I feel like Michigan, Ohio State and Sparty find a way to beat up on each other and all of them might drop a game, though Michigan currently seems like the least likely to do so right now. As far as the last winless team: Purdue is probably the worst team in the conference, but they’re usually good for a timely upset. Nebraska will have to win a game or two here soon, right? And Rutgers will Carroo themselves to at least one victory. Sorry Terps, you’re the last one standing (sitting?)

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That's it for this week folks. Please keep the questions coming. If you want to call out a specific "writer" here for a question, feel free.

Your Friends,

The OTE "Writers"