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Illinois is coming for you BYE

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You'd better believe it

YES, YOU.
YES, YOU.
Reese Strickland-USA TODAY Sports

So, BYE, a lot has changed since we met last year. You were in the month of November where everything ends up dead and gray, and you've since tossed November and opted instead for a month when it suddenly seems a lot colder in a hurry. Well, for the entire Beckman era, I had to endure a lot of this internet smack about Illinois being double-digit underdogs to you. And we won every single matchup. Even the 2012 team at 2-10 did not have a loss to BYE, and that team had no conference wins.

I'm not here to talk about Tim Beckman. Illinois is coming to town. Get ready.

I guess fans of BYE must be riding pretty high on defeating Randy Edsall for the first BYE win since Penn State in 2011. That's two B1G wins in three and a half seasons. That's half what Tim Beckman did in three years. And you didn't actually beat Maryland, just Randy Edsall. You have to play Maryland this week too. That's right, before you can even think about competing with Illinois' stout front 4 on defense, you have to contend with Maryland.

So to recap, that's two conference wins in 3.5 seasons, but one wasn't the fault of the Penn State players and the other was against a single person. And yet people favored you against the mighty Fighting Illini? You won't get so lucky this time. We already fired our coach before the season started.

It's not just in-conference that you suck though. I looked up the supposedly storied rivalry between BYE and BYU and can't find a single win by BYE. What kind of illustrious history is that? Where do you get off predicting a win against anyone in this storied conference?

Even the lowliest teams love a matchup against BYE and use it as an opportunity to get their starters healthy and essentially treat it like a scrimmage. It's like playing an FCS team only with less gameplanning. That's your space on the totem pole, BYE, and to think you'd ever rise above it is to have a futile pipe dream.

What kind of a name even is BYE? "Hey, you're not playing this week...so...uh...bye bye till next week." You should be embarrassed. The one time everyone was sure you'd beat a B1G team, Rutgers came out unscathed this year. That was the one week nothing bad happened off the field! How could you not beat Rutgers then?

I'll tell you why. Because you're a house of cards, a paper tiger, unworthy to claim your side of the field against Illinois. Ke'Shaun Vaughn is learning, and as long as Wes Lunt can get his 8+ hours of sleep, we're going to run you off the field. I can't wait.