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Scott Pilgrim vs. The Week 11 Big Ten Power Poll

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Bread makes you fat?

This is a Universal Movie. You should probably watch it.
This is a Universal Movie. You should probably watch it.

Once again, we come to our weekly power poll. This week, we're taking a suggestion from metroidbum, and bringing you a Scott Pilgrim vs. the World edition of the Big Ten Power Poll. Since Aaron and I know the most about it, we put all of our knowledge together, and worked very long, hard hours to bring this poll to you. (Just kidding, we sent it through subspace, so it took like 5 minutes.)

For those who don't know anything about Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, go watch the movie. Right now. I'll wait. (twiddles thumbs) OK, fine, watch it later. Spoilsports. Anyway, the movie follows the life of Scott Pilgrim, a 20-something mostly unemployed slacker living in Toronto, the things that happen to him, and the people he hangs out with. He meets an American girl named Ramona Flowers, who delivers packages for Amazon in Canada, and falls head over heels for her. Sounds totally reasonable, except for two slight problems. 1), Scott is currently dating 17 year old Knives Chau, and 2), part of dating Ramona Flowers involves defeating her 7 Evil Exes in hand to hand combat.

But before we get into the fun part, your weekly poll reminders: There were 15 voters this week. Points still work exactly how they have every other week (14 points for first place, 13 for 2nd, on down to 1 for 14th). The graphs as provided as always by InsertName (and we thank him so much for putting these together, because none of the rest of us were willing to take on the task, and he's overperformed every week in putting them together).

Well, that's all the business out of the way. Time for the fun stuff. Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to present SEX BOB-OMB the Scott Pilgrim Power Poll!

1. The Ohio State Buckeyes - Gideon Gordon Graves

210 Points || 15 FPV || 0 LPV || H 1 || L 1 || LW 1 || Change 0

Gideon Gordon Graves

Gideon Graves is the 7th of the League of Evil Exes. He is also an entertainment mogul.

Aaron's thoughts: The big bad guy. He's in the mainstream and is the only team that outsiders repect in the Big Ten.

C4B's thoughts: I totally considered asking for Gideon to just be whoever ends up 7th, but for actual menacing purposes, the Buckeyes are a much better choice.

2. Iowa Hawkeyes - Scott Pilgrim

190 Points || 0 FPV || 0 LPV || H 2 || L 4 || LW 2 || Change 0

Scott Pilgrim

The protagonist and main character. But you probably could have guessed that already.

Aaron's thoughts: Just a normal guy whom nobody believes in. The teams/exes he beats are huge losers.

C4B's thoughts: While the team certainly qualifies, it could be argued that Kirk Ferentz is Scott personified, and we just haven't seen Nega-Scott/Old Kirk show up this year. Yet.

3. Michigan State Spartans - Ramona Flowers

179 Points || 0 FPV || 0 LPV || H 2 || L 5 || LW 3 || Change 0

Ramona Flowers

American delivery girl. Has seven evil exes. Scott still wants to date her anyway.

Aaron's thoughts: A former middling program that has moved up a level in recent years. It's no wonder Scott/Iowa thinks the two are a perfect fit.

C4B's thoughts: I kinda feel like Maryland is actually the better character fit due to so many color schemes, but State has been known to mess with their scheme often enough that this still works.

4. Michigan Wolverines - Roxie Richter

170 Points || 0 FPV || 0 LPV || H 2 || L 4 || LW 4 || Change 0

Roxie Richter

Vicious. Vindictive. The 4th Evil Ex.

Aaron's thoughts: Losing to Ramona/MSU makes her bi-furious.

C4B's thoughts: Any excuse to use this gif is fine by me.

Bi-Furious

5. Northwestern Wildcats - Todd Ingram

141 Points || 0 FPV || 0 LPV || H 5 || L 7 || LW 6 || Change 1

Todd Ingram

Bass player for Clash at Demonhead. 3rd Evil Ex. Currently dating Envy Adams, an ex of Scott's.

Aaron's thoughts: Thinks vegan lifestyle (graduation rates) make him better than everyone else.

C4B's thoughts: At least in the movie, Todd comes off as more than a bit of an airhead. So the fact that he ends up as Northwestern is very, very funny to me.

6. Wisconsin Badgers - Knives Chau

140 Points || 0 FPV || 0 LPV || H 4 || L 7 || LW 5 || Change -1

Knives Chau

Teenager. Catholic Schoolgirl. Ninja.

Aaron's thoughts: Scott's too good for her now, and she is not taking it well.

C4B's thoughts: This analogy would totally work better if Iowa was Ramona, but go with it: Just like Knives is upset that she's been replaced by a newer and more compatible (in theory) girlfriend, so too has Wisconsin been knocked off the top of the West. Neither is pleased, but eventually, they will come to terms with it. You will come to terms with it, won't you, Wisconsin?

7. Penn State Nittany Lions - Lucas Lee

118 Points || 0 FPV || 0 LPV || H 6 || L 8 || LW 7 || Change 0

Lucas Lee

Movie Star. Skateboarder. 2nd Evil Ex.

Aaron's thoughts: He thinks he's a big star, but he's nothing without his stunt team (past PSU teams)

C4B's thoughts: This fits Hackenberg and that offensive line SO WELL.

8. Minnesota Golden Gophers - Envy Adams

98 Points || 0 FPV || 0 LPV || H 6 || L 11 || LW 8 || Change 0

Envy Adams

Used to date Scott. Changed quite a bit to become a star. Ambiguously bitchy.

Aaron's thoughts: Stole Scott's heart (pig), and now he's afraid to get a haircut (wear gold pants) again.

C4B's thoughts: Cold, like a dilly bar in a snow storm.

9. Nebraska Cornhuskers - Julie Powers

87 Points || 0 FPV || 0 LPV || H 7 || L 11 || LW 9 || Change 0

Julie Powers

[SERIES OF EXPLETIVES DELETED]

Aaron's thoughts: Because Big Red fans probably lead the league in swearing this year.

C4B's thoughts: Disagree at your own risk.

10. Indiana Hoosiers - Young Neil

76 Points || 0 FPV || 0 LPV || H 8 || L 12 || LW 11 || Change 1

Young Neil

He's just kinda there, until he becomes something more.

Aaron's thoughts: If only the Hoosiers had beaten Michigan, they would have been promoted from "Young Neil" to "Neil".

C4B's thoughts: Pretty sure even Young Neil is having a better season than we are at this point.

11. Illinois Fighting Illini - Kim Pine

75 Points || 0 FPV || 0 LPV || H 8 || L 11 || LW 10 || Change -1

Kim Pine 2

Drummer for Sex Bob-Omb. One of Scott's many exes. Very, very sarcastic.

Aaron's thoughts: All of their shows are secret shows.

C4B's thoughts: something something redhead stereotypes, something something nice things

12. Maryland Terrapins and 13. Rutgers Scarlet Knights - The Katayanagi Twins

M: 33 Points || 0 FPV || 2 LPV || H 12 || L 14 || LW 12 || Change 0

R: 32 Points || 0 FPV || 5 LPV || H 11 || L 14 || LW 13 || Change 0

Katayanagi Twins

Evil Exes 5 and 6. Twin brothers. Never say a word in the film.

Aaron's thoughts: Even with their powers combined, they can't defeat Scott/Iowa.

C4B's thoughts: In this comparison, being Midwestern is equivalent to speaking English, I guess. Because when casting the film, they somehow managed to cast twins who couldn't speak a word of English, even though their characters in the books totally could.

14. Purdue Boilermakers - Matthew Patel

26 Points || 0 FPV || 8 LPV || H 12 || L 14 || LW 14 || Change 0

Matthew Patel

First Evil Ex. Heavy on the Bollywood theme. Not the hardest fight of the film.

Aaron's thoughts: "I'm kind of getting better this year! Didn't you get my email?"

C4B's thoughts: I think you're implying that even a wholly unprepared Iowa team could beat the Boilers this year. I'm also not sure that you're wrong.