Goodbye, Bo Ryan. You, like your boss, were able to turn a desolate sports wasteland into a place where people spent their hard-earned money on alcohol to go watch you strangle the life out of a sport.
Goodbye, Bo Ryan. Your 364-130 at wisconsin was impressive.
Goodbye, Bo Ryan. The vigor in which you screamed at, whined toward, and cajoled refs every single time they incorrectly called a foul against your team made Tom Izzo and Mike Krzyzewski jealous. It is also commendable that you were able to do it for each and every single one of the 7,505 fouls that was called, obviously unjustly, against your team. We will ignore the fact that your tantrums, which make both Fran McCaffrey and my preschool children ashamed, have led to your team being called for nearly 2,000 less fouls (1,862, to be precise) than your opponents during your tenure at wisconsin. That was obviously due to the hustle and hard work of your team.
Goodbye, Bo Ryan. It seems appropriate that your last big game was against Mike Kryzewski, since you've followed a few examples he's set. Your players have always displayed courage when assaulted by the vicious breeze caused by fans flipping program pages that knocked them down, much like Dookies. And just like he did in 1994-95, you ran when you realized your team wasn't going to be good. I can understand this, as I'm surprised Richard Pitino hasn't done the same thing yet. I do have to wonder why you're doing it now, though, as you have been most vocal in your contempt for early departures.
Goodbye, Bo Ryan. If there's anything that makes me sad about your sudden cowardly departure, it's that I won't be able to serenade you one last time with the song of my people. If I'm mistaken and you're not leaving because you're a bully that's finally been punched in the nose, I hope that it is either due to a disagreement with your boss over who should be your replacement or an attempt to skirt the law. Either way, I hope it leads to you being drug through the mud. I hope that you're not able to enjoy what you love doing in retirement, which I'm sure is screaming at orphans and injured animals.
Goodbye, Bo Ryan. I hope you have a long, healthy life of being miserable.