A couple of years ago, Off Tackle Empire started a Spring series to help those who may not be too keen on basketball get through the winter and spring doldrums. Originally, that was called, "Springing to the Top" because I thought I was clever, and because honestly, there are only so many ways you can make a play on the word, "Spring" without hating what you wrote. With the influx of new writers and ideas, the piece was formally changed last year to Spring Fling, which evokes a certain newness of the season, and memories of horrible high school dances all the same.
All that in mind, I think it's time we did another annual Q&A about how we come up with these names, how accurate we are, and the like. You know, I would hate to break with tradition.
Jesse, why does the Off Tackle Empire team hate watching football?
This seems like a great question to start with, and it's actually a pretty complex answer. It's not that any single person "hates" watching football. It's more that watching football sometimes is a metaphor for life, right? Like, we're always waiting for the next play, and that play can determine...
/starts laughing uncontrollably/
But seriously, why watch football when you can simply write about it?
Oh, so that's how you're going to play us. I see how it is. Well, on a serious note, how do you determine who is the best? I demand that you tell me only the best players and MY TEAM* HAS ALL THE BEST PLAYERS!
*note: If your team isn't Ohio State, you probably do not have all the best players... so there's that.
All players chosen for Spring Fling: Best of the Best B1G Players are picked after careful consideration, email discussion with the Spring Fling committee, and pin the tail on the donkey games. The tiebreaker for open spots usually goes to the highest bidder, but our writing team is cheap. I'm pretty sure Mike was paid off in 4Loko and Ray... Ray can be swayed with a good GIF. We really need to get on the same page...
Will Brandon Scherff be forgotten again? BECAUSE HE'S THE BEST PLAYER EVER!
Uh... no? Oh wait, yes. He's going to the NFL. He is therefore ineligible. Sorry everyone. Also, I'm pretty sure his cow thievery is about to catch up to him.
So how serious should we take this? Because football lists are serious stuff. Man, I'm so angry right now about interweb talk!
I mean, we're probably a step below FWAA All-American here, but it's nothing to get too angry about. This year, I really do encourage you all to make arguments for who should have been included, who should be higher up on the list, and why you should vote for any given person. It's a fun exercise each year, and like I said above, I hope it's a nice diversion until Spring Games where we can talk about practices that generate millions for the school. Also, it provides a permanent spot on the internet to mock us for picks we had in February/March that we shouldn't have ever had. I mean, Gardner was a Top 5 QB for us last year. Seriously. While we're here... Here was the Best of the Best 2014 as voted by you all:
QB - Braxton Miller - Ohio State
RB - Melvin Gordon - Wisconsin
WR - Stefon Diggs - Maryland
TE - Maxx Williams - Minnesota
OL - Other* (Okay, it would've been Brandon Scherff, so I'll let you have this one, Iowa)
K - Michael Geiger - MSU
P - Peter Mortell - Minnesota
DL - Andre Monroe - Maryland
LB - Cole Farrand - Maryland
DB - Kurtis Drummond - MSU
Head Coach - Mark Dantonio - MSU
All things considered, I don't think we did too bad. So, with that all in mind, I look forward to more football with you all. Look for QBs to start things off tomorrow. Yay football**, right? Right. Let's all talk about football.
**Yes, yay football. At least when Nebraska football only scores 13 points in a half, I don't hate life