So I know that this is a week late to begin with, and it'll be no Lent-a-palooza (h/t to Black Heart Gold Pants and their rival Iona blog, Black Beard Maroon Hats), but I'm running behind and with Michigan State's slobberknocking of Michigan last night not really affecting too many things, I don't even care. So, in the spirit of Lent, we Power Poll on! (Pictures linked in the title.)
Oh, yeah. 8 people voted. Mike Jones sucks and won't return my calls.
1. Wisconsin (112 points, 8 FPV) - Fish Fry
H: 1 || L: 1 || LW: 1
Fattening, slow-moving, and yet so damn irresistible. You are a classic of March, clinched your record-setting 15th consecutive season with a winning B1G record, and yet you still represent the fact that I can't have something nice. Like a bunch of miserable cheeseheads, meat on Fridays eludes me for the next 40 days. But a fish fry, that Upper Midwest staple, will certainly do for the time being.
2. Maryland (100 points) - St. Patrick's Day
H: 2 || L: 4 || LW: 2
Always the breath of fresh air in the darkness, you show that there's a chance something other than fish will be the highlight of our Lent. Still vaguely Catholic, like Maryland, St. Patrick's Day manages to simultaneously excite us about a free pass to get bombed all day, yet know that it's still a single point in the long, dark ramble through Lent.
3. Ohio State (94 points) - Doppelbock!
H: 2 || L: 5 || LW: 4
Strong, dark, and a little boozy, you make a great "liquid bread" to avoid fasting restrictions. ...and I just figured out how I'm spending my night. God bless Leinie's Big Butt Doppelbock. I am so excited now. Thanks, Ohio State!
4. Indiana (85 points) - Shamrock Shake
H: 3 || L: 7 || LW: 3
The classic brand of Lent. Yet OVERRATED. OVERRATED, I SAY. #hottaeks
5. Michigan State (81 points) - Easter
H: 4 || L: 6 || LW: 6
There's always a light at the end of the tunnel, and you always save your best for last. Somehow, when the dust (ash?) settles and the 40 days are up, you're left standing there. But then you realize it's eggs and shitty chocolate and maybe a ham or two, and then it's over. Thanks.
6. Purdue (72 points) - Nijmegen Lent
H: 3 || L: 8 || LW: 7
Nijmegen Lent is a railway station located in Lent, just north of Nijmegen, the Netherlands. The station was opened on 1 June 2002 and is located on the Arnhem - Nijmegen railway line. The train services are operated by Nederlandse Spoorwegen. The main station of Nijmegen is Nijmegen railway station.
The first station of Lent opened in 1882 and was closed in 1934 because there were too few passengers. During World War II, the station was opened again twice, in 1940 and 1941 and when the bridge into Nijmegen was blown up, this was the terminating station for trains from Arnhem. The station was reopened in 2002.
7. Iowa (70 points) - Mardi Gras Hangover
H: 3 || L: 7 || LW: 5
The. Worst. You have to look back on those stupid things you did last night, you tried to drink it all away, and you just keep coming back for more. Happy Ash Wednesday, suckers. It'll be over eventually.
8. Illinois (54 points) - Cheating on Sundays because it's technically a feast day
H: 6 || L: 10 || LW: 10
You do it. Just admit it. You're horrible and can't commit to anything (like Rayvonte Rice's suspension), so you look for the easy way out. You suck.
9. Minnesota (47 points) - Capirotada
H: 8 || L: 10 || LW: 11
The lutefisk of Lent. Just kidding, lutefisk is awesome, but bread, cloves, and cheese are not a dessert, Mexico. They simply are not.
10. Nebraska (42 points) - Stations of the Cross
H: 10 || L: 11 || LW: 9
Even if there's a church soup supper after it, it's never as good the second time around. Enjoyably, when I googled "stations of the cross", the third result was "Stations of the Cross - Creighton University." Typical Nebrasketball.
11. Michigan (35 points) - Good Friday service
H: 10 || L: 11 || LW: 8
"It is finished." We saw the last nail in the coffin (the cross?) last night. But yeah. It goes on forever, it's just depressing to be at, and it's overshadowed by Easter, anyways. Sort of like Michigan this year, I suppose. Look, I'm reaching, OK? Turns out there's a lot less about Lent than I thought there was.
12. Penn State (24 points) - Ash Wednesday
H: 12 || L: 12 || LW: 13
Speaking of, you're marked. You can't eat all day, no doubt this is the day where you want that nice, juicy cheeseburger, and, appropriately-enough, you're staring down the barrel of a fish fry tonight. Good luck, dude.
13. Northwestern (14 points) - Giving things up
H: 13 || L: 14 || LW: 12
I want to give you up. I want to give you up so badly. But I just can't.
14. Rutgers (10 points) - Knowing you're a terrible
H: 13 || L: 14 || LW: 14
Just embrace it.