Spring Cleaning 2015: Uniforms

Springtime is here! Our conference has kindly invited Kentucky and Duke to a little basketball invitational, pitchers and catchers are in spring training, the Golf season starts up soon with the Masters, and oh yes, Spring Football games are coming! WOOO!!! I'll be in Evanston this saturday to see my Wildcats and the free open spring practice. It's been too long, friends!

Every spring it's time to clean out the unwanted stuff that we no longer need. I think this is a good occasion for us to look at all the old stuff in our closet and throw out what we don't need: in this case Football Uniforms!

However, I don't think any of our worst uniforms are as bad as the McDonald's approved abominations from Iowa State University

#Cyclones going for Gold on Saturday. #LoyalForeverTrue pic.twitter.com/nHp1UnQd8p

— Cyclone Football (@CycloneFB) October 8, 2014

@cyclonefb We think your new unis look pretty sharp! #cyclones

— McDonald's (@McDonaldsCorp) October 8, 2014

Let's see if anything our teams have worn have been worse than the ISU McUniforms!

Illinois

Nice job beating the Vile Gopher Menace, but seriously stick with Orange and Blue jerseys. These are hideous.

Indiana

Hey Indiana, are helmets that are supposed to blind people even legal on the football field?

Indiana, if you want to use Candystripes right, do this:

All kidding aside, I think your worst uniform was in the Antwaan Randle-El era:

The fork is a much better logo for you guys anyway.

Iowa

Iowa didn't fare too well with the Banana-Peel Hawkeye uniforms. Unfortunately, these uniforms are from the last few years of Hayden Fry's tenure in Iowa City. I believe that Kirk Ferentz restored the Pittsburgh Steelers look right away in his first season.

Maryland

All of you know damn well what's coming, right? Heh heh.

And yes, some of you will probably complain that these jerseys were from Maryland's ACC days. Hey, it's my article and I make the rules.

Maryland, ok, we get it, you love your state flag. That doesn't mean you have to plaster the damn thing everywhere!

Maryland, you should use these jerseys and helmets instead:

AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD BURN THESE YELLOW ABOMINATIONS AT ONCE!!

Michigan

Are you guys trying to be the Georgia Tech Bumblebees? Aren't these jerseys from the Alabama game in JerryWorld?

Michigan State University

Your colors are Green and White. Not Green and Gold. That's Baylor University. Got that, Nike?

Also, DO NOT FUCK WITH THE SPARTAN LOGO. SPARTAN FANS ARE KNOW TO BURN COUCHES AND THROW BAGELS AT THE SLIGHTEST PROVOCATION.

Minnesota

All yellow is just frightening. Use Maroon tops and yellow pants, or White tops and yellow pants. NOT THIS!

Also, the double-M's uniforms in the mid 90s were just weird.

Nebraska and Wisconsin

Yeah, I think a lot of you saw this coming: Nebraska's NOID uniforms from their first game in the Big Ten. UGH. I think that the numbers should be plainly visible on the chest of the players.

Northwestern

Sadly, my Northwestern Wildcats have been bitten by the bad uniform bug. This time, Under Armour decided to deck us out patriotically with their Wounded Warrior program. I don't mind us wearing a little bit of red white and blue, like we do when we put the flag pattern inside the sculpted N on the helmets and on midfield for the first game after September 11th.

I really wish that Under Armour's designers would've made the visual connection between the distressed flag pattern and a blood stained flag because it just wasn't worth all the noise that week with people ripping on Northwestern for perceived bloody jerseys. Also, there's no damn purple in the uniform!

I'm also ticked off that no one complained when Boston College wore the same damn thing! Their jerseys were equally distressed as ours!!

Ohio State

Ohio State, your standard uniforms look great. Just tell Nike to knock it off with all the stupid alternates they make for you. Your standard uniforms are classic and you should wear them all the time. These alternate uniforms are in my humble opinion the worst:

Penn State

Keep the names off your jerseys and everything's kosher.

No names RT @PennStateFball: Tradition. pic.twitter.com/a1h9QbCsvq

— Josh Moyer (@ESPNJoshMoyer) September 27, 2014

Purdue

You guys are not Oregon, so tell Nike to get lost when they want to incorporate Neon colors into your uniform. Other than that, no complaints.

Rutgers

My high school had better uniforms than this! UGH

What do you guys think? Have at it in the comments!

EDIT: Now there's a poll attached so you can tell us who has the worst uniforms history in the Big Ten!