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And the B1G winner of the 2015 NFL Draft is...

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Get your lunchpail ready, because we B1G.

NFL scouts were not concerned by Brandon Scherff's predilection toward common cattle theft.
NFL scouts were not concerned by Brandon Scherff's predilection toward common cattle theft.
Dennis Wierzbicki-USA TODAY Sports

Let's get the usual /dismissivewankingmotion out of the way: the SEC did have the most players drafted, with 54. After them, per NFL.com:

The ACC was second with 47 draftees, followed in order by the Pac-12 with 39, the Big Ten with 35, the Big 12 with 25, the FCS ranks with 17, the AAC with 11, the Mountain West with 10, Conference USA with six, the MAC with four, the Sun Belt with three, the independent and Division II ranks with two and the Division III ranks with one.

So that's fun. But right now I suspect most Ohio State fans can't hear them over their team's title belt, and I can't say I care that much about the SEC's draft results. I care about proving, empirically, that based on draft results, my team is somehow better than yours.

...

OK, so coming from the Northwestern "writer" blogger shameless fanboy not named C.E. Bell, that might be a little far-fetched. Anyways, here's your list of all drafted (not UFAs, as...come on, I have a life am too lazy) Big Ten players:

Player Pos. School Round Pick Pts Team Notes
Brandon Scherff OT Iowa 1 5 251 Rougedermis
Trae Waynes CB Michigan St 1 11 245 Vikings
Melvin Gordon III RB Wisconsin 1 15 241 San Diego Traded w/ 49ers
Donovan Smith OT Penn State 2 34 222 Buccaneers
Devin Smith WR Ohio State 2 37 219 Jets
Devin Funchess WR Michigan 2 41 215 Panthers Traded w/ Rams
Ameer Abdullah RB Nebraska 2 54 202 Lions
Maxx Williams TE Minnesota 2 55 201 Ravens Traded w/ Cardinals
Rob Havenstein OT Wisconsin 2 57 199 Rams Traded w/ Panthers
Randy Gregory DE Nebraska 2 60 196 Cowboys
Frank Clark DE Michigan 2 63 193 Seahawks
Tevin Coleman RB Indiana 3 73 183 Falcons
Tyler Kroft TE Rutgers 3 85 171 Bengals
Carl Davis DT Iowa 3 90 166 Ravens
Jeff Heuerman TE Ohio State 3 92 164 Broncos
Jeremy Langford RB Michigan St 4 106 150 Bears
Ibraheim Campbell S Northwestern 4 115 141 Browns Traded w/ Bills
Andrew Donnal OL Iowa 4 119 137 Rams Traded w/ Eagles
Doran Grant CB Ohio State 4 121 135 Steelers
Damien Wilson ILB Minnesota 4 127 129 Cowboys
Jake Ryan LB Michigan 4 129 127 Packers
David Cobb RB Minnesota 5 138 118 Titans
Adrian Amos S Penn State 5 142 114 Bears
Stefon Diggs WR Maryland 5 146 110 Vikings Traded w/ Falcons
Cedric Thompson S Minnesota 5 150 106 Dolphins
Tony Lippett WR/DB Michigan St 5 156 100 Dolphins Traded w/ Eagles
Jesse James TE Penn State 5 160 96 Steelers
Kenny Bell WR Nebraska 5 162 94 Buccaneers Traded w/ Ravens
Ryan Russell DE Purdue 5 163 93 Cowboys
Michael Burton FB Rutgers 5 168 88 Lions Traded w/ Patriots via Bucs
Keith Mumphry WR Michigan St 5 175 81 Texans Compensatory
Michael Bennett DT Ohio State 6 180 76 Jaguars
Evan Spencer WR Ohio State 6 187 69 Rougedermis
Darius Kilgo DT Maryland 6 203 53 Broncos
Trevor Siemian QB Northwestern 6 250 6 Broncos Compensatory

Now, I'm picking up what you're putting down. That doesn't tell us a lot. So let's rank the B1G, from "Number drafted" to a semi-arbitrary measure of "points" (taken by subtracting pick# from 256):

By Number Drafted By "Points" Points per Pick
School #Drafted "Points" Pts/Pk School #Drafted "Points" Pts/Pk School #Drafted "Points" Pts/Pk
Ohio State 5 663 132.6 Ohio State 5 663 132.6 Wisconsin 2 440 220.0
Michigan St 4 576 144.0 Michigan St 4 576 144.0 Iowa 3 554 184.7
Minnesota 4 554 138.5 Iowa 3 554 184.7 Indiana 1 183 183.0
Iowa 3 554 184.7 Minnesota 4 554 138.5 Michigan 3 537 179.0
Michigan 3 537 179.0 Michigan 3 537 179.0 Nebraska 3 492 164.0
Nebraska 3 492 164.0 Nebraska 3 492 164.0 Michigan St 4 576 144.0
Penn State 3 432 144.0 Wisconsin 2 440 220.0 Penn State 3 432 144.0
Maryland 2 163 81.5 Penn State 3 432 144.0 Minnesota 4 554 138.5
Northwestern 2 147 73.5 Rutgers 2 259 129.5 Ohio State 5 663 132.6
Rutgers 2 259 129.5 Indiana 1 183 183.0 Rutgers 2 259 129.5
Wisconsin 2 440 220.0 Maryland 2 163 81.5 Purdue 1 93 93.0
Indiana 1 183 183.0 Northwestern 2 147 73.5 Maryland 2 163 81.5
Purdue 1 93 93.0 Purdue 1 93 93.0 Northwestern 2 147 73.5
Illinois 0 0 #DIV/0! Illinois 0 0 #DIV/0! Illinois 0 0 #DIV/0!

Thoughts:

Ohio State wins the "highest score" award by virtue of, well, being Ohio State and getting a lot of players drafted.

Bang for Your Buck: want to play a "gritty" position on Sundays? Go to Iowa. For all the shit we give Kirk Ferentz and the Hawkeyes, three players drafted in the top half of the draft from the trenches of Iowa City (Brandon Scherff, Carl Davis, and Andrew Donnal) reaffirms Iowa's reputation as an NFL development stop for line positions. Let's hope the Rougedermis can scare up a whole mess of Holsteins for their new left tackle.

Most B1G Award: You're learning, Rutgers. You're learning fast. A fullback and a tight end as your only two players drafted is about as good as we can ask for. (Look, everyone! An article that's not ripping on Rutgers!)

Start of something new?: Minnesota, with four draft picks, is quietly bolstering Jerry Kill's reputation as a developer of talent. Curious to see if this can help Minnesota shore up its borders and get some draft-worthy talent, especially in the trenches, to stay.

If Harbaugh can Harbaugh Harbaugh with the Harbaugh worth of talent in Michigan, if this draft is any indication, things sure look Harbaugh for Harbaugh going forward.

Steal of the Draft?: I am hard-pressed not to pick Randy Gregory. Dude gets his shit together somehow in Dallas, where Jerry Jones has shown his willingness to throw money at problems, and the Cowboys have earned themselves quite the pass-rusher.

What an opportunity for Tevin Coleman, the Indiana RB who likely will be the Falcons' lead back this fall. His next-level speed and pass-catching ability could cause major problems for opposing defenses on Sundays.

Obligatory mention of Michigan State. Another solid draft day for the Spartans, though their value may be slightly overinflated due to Trey Waynes' selection by my Minnesota Vikings. Nonetheless, Sparty represented on both sides of the ball, again showing the extent of their both-sides-of-the-ball improvement in the last five years.

Illinois: womp womp.

Only QB?: WOOOOOOOO suck it all of you go 'Cats! Based on being the only team to get a quarterback drafted, I thusly declare Northwestern the all-time winner of the 2015 NFL Draft! You're welcome.

For real thoughts and actual analysis, I'd recommend checking out the SBNation 2015 NFL Draft Results as well. In the meantime, hit the comments and poll to tell us which Big Ten team you think won the 2015 NFL Draft!