What a long, strange trip it's been. All week, you've been learning about [REDACTED], the chances that [404 ERROR: NOT FOUND] football will actually be good this year, and maybe a little something about our [TTFWL] writer, who has somehow managed to keep his ACLs intact as far as I know. And now, I'm here to present the most important lesson of all to you: Hating the Boilers is not only right, it's correct.
Now, some of you might be shocked that such hate could even exist. You've only ever had pleasant dealings with those folks in black and gold (Most Hated Rivalry with Iowa notwithstanding). You've probably watched your football team dismantle them a couple times. Heck, you might have even seen your basketball team take Matt Painter down a peg, if you're into that sort of thing. Fact is, Boiler athletics has been having a generally rough couple of years. You can't fathom why anyone would dislike all of those free wins on their schedule. To you, the "World's Largest Drum" is a quaint oversized instrument, not a giant annoyance that isn't even accurately named anymore. Of course, most of you have also probably only interacted with fans of the old gold and black on this very site, and the group here is generally a nice bunch.
So it is with mild trepidation I must inform you that not all fans of this school are quite as nice as our peers here. Many of them take great pleasure in chanting "IU Sucks!" incessantly, particularly in games where Indiana isn't even involved, showing either a great lack of respect for their actual opponents in those games, or just utter ignorance that every opponent is not, in fact, the Indiana Hoosiers. They loudly tout that they own the conference in men's basketball due to their preponderance of conference titles, ignoring the fact that they lead by a grand total of one (and would only be tied at the top if Ohio State hadn't vacated a pair of conference crowns), haven't claimed a solo championship since 1996, and are still waiting for their first NCAA-recognized national championship in that sport. Their football program has claimed the nickname "Cradle of Quarterbacks", which has become rather amusing in the years following the immortal Curtis Painter graduating from the Cradle to the NFL, and looks downright foolish compared to the current three-headed QB monster in Columbus.
And of course, the one thing that they pride themselves on more than any other: their dominance of the Old Oaken Bucket rivalry. It is the end all, be all of most arguments with their fans, right up there with "dusty banners" conversations. Any point you wish to disagree with them on often ends with "Oh yeah? Well, we own the Bucket, so there." And most years, this is (unfortunately) where things end, because what can you argue if not head-to-head results? Thankfully, the last two seasons have produced a very good counterpoint (for the time being), and hopefully that trend will continue for a while, maybe even long enough to set a new streak of Indiana claiming the Bucket. (The present longest streak is 4, dwarfed by their 10 in a row stretch from 1948-1957.)
Until we can see how that plays out, however, there's a very easy way to get the message across, and I think it's a fine place to end our lesson today (warning: NSFL if you're a Boilermaker):