Ranking the 2015 B1G Football Games: 44-31

BEER.

By MNWildcat Aug 29, 2015, 8:28am CDT

Our oddly-numbered ranking of the 2015 Big Ten schedule marches on, with almost all of the teams playing in this round being real teams that definitely exist! So that's exciting. All the previous rankings can be found here:

Now, we've done obscure Nebraska something bands, Pokemon, Excel functions, and table-top games. I'll be honest—I was about out of ideas for this one. I don't want to start dipping into our list of Power Poll ideas yet, I'm not the creative kind, and let's be honest, you guys are just in this for the poll and [complaining about how low Rutgers is ranked/Michigan State insecurity/ttfp-merryland arguments].

That said, I got nothing this week. If you're going to this game, drink this local beer.

44. Bowling Green @ Purdue - 9/26, TBD: People's IPA

At $5 a glass in the South End Zone, about 5-6 of these will ensure that you don't remember this game.

43. Indiana @ Wake Forest - 9/26, TBD: Foothills Carolina Blonde Strawberry

I don't know. It's a cream ale. With red fruit. Indiana.

42. Penn State @ Temple - 9/5, 2:30pm, ESPN: Yuengling

Have a Yuengling and talk about what's shittiest: Temple, Penn State's offense, or that Yuengling.

41. Northwestern @ Wisconsin - 11/21, TBD: Karben4 Lady Luck Irish Red

This is a Good Beer(TM) and a cool warehouse brewery. Also, it is what Northwestern will likely require to pull a repeat of 2014.

40. Indiana @ Penn State - 10/10, 11am: Victory Brewing Sour Monkey

A delicious sour, and one vaguely approaching the pucker of Penn State fans if they lose to Indiana again.

39. Iowa @ Northwestern - 10/17, 11am: Temperance Beer Co. Restless Years

The restlessness of two teams who will likely be desperate for a win to validate their seasons come mid-October makes this rye pale ale a delicious beer for a fall morning. Also, the usual Iowa-Northwestern shenanigans mean you're going to want to tune in to see what stupidity happens this year.

38. Ohio State @ Indiana - 10/3, TBD: Upland Brewing Coastbuster IPA

Because the Heartland busted the coasts in 2014 as Ohio State ran roughshod over Right Coast, South Coast, and Left Coast states en route to a national title. Celebrate that with a local Bloomington beer as the Buckeyes bring that coastbusting attitude to Indiana. Take the over, pound this imperial IPA, and enjoy.

37. Minnesota @ Northwestern - 10/3, TBD: Smylie Bros. Purple Line

Once again begging the question: why don't more people realize that purple beers are a great idea? Go to this downtown Evanston brewpub after watching the annual Minnesota-Northwestern slugfest, which, while lower-scoring than OSU-Indiana, is fraught with real potential for deciding which West Division team could be a modest surprise in 2015.

36. Indiana @ Purdue - 11/28, TBD: Lafayette Brewing Black Angus Oatmeal Stout

Something thick and toasty to warm you up as Purdue students are too busy tending to their cattle to care about losing the Bucket again. One team might go bowling, though, so grab this beer (seriously -- had it on my last trip to W-L, and it's a solid if unspectacular choice) and fire up the couch.

Side note: LBC, how is your website "under construction"?! All you're missing are three .gifs of construction workers with jackhammers. Or a [404 Error: Website Not Found].

35. Maryland @ West Virginia - 9/26, TBD: Moonshine

I have not had a beer from West Virginia, which Thrillist ranked #49 in the country for brewing. As a result, get shitty on the clear and watch these two teams roll up yards and points. First to 40 wins, boys?

34. Northwestern @ Duke - 9/19, 11:30am, ESPN3/ACCN: Full Steam Hogwash!

If I were going to this game (be cheaper, airfare), I'd be stopping here for a beer. The brewery (check out the link!) looks beautiful, and a smoked bacon porter is incredibly relevant to my interests, much as this game is relevant to Northwestern's interests of going bowling and should be in your interests of NERRRRRD FIIIIIIIIGHT.

Thank goodness this isn't a basketball game.

33. Michigan @ Penn State - 11/21, TBD: Yuengling again.

I mean, you'll watch it because HARBAUGH, but stick with something light to avoid GI discomfort as you try to figure out what both he and Noted Coward James Franklin are doing with their faces as their by-this-point-woefully-inept offenses slap up against each other.

Pennsylvania folk, feel free to enlighten me. Or argue about BSD and write FanPosts about which beer I should've chosen because "OTE 'writers,'" amirite?

32. Penn State @ Michigan State - 11/28, TBD: Bell's Cherry Stout

Drink something from the Planets series if you got 'em. Damn, those were some good beers. Otherwise go with this local classic, made from (and SpartanHT can explain to us why they're so good) Montmorency cherries. Tart, heavy, and strong, just like the odds you should watch this game.

Oh, and be sure to watch it with LAZERZ nearby.

31. Iowa @ Nebraska - 11/27, TBD: Empyrean Luna Sea ESB

Empyrean brews Good Beer(TM), so be sure to have a few on hand right next to that steaming bowl of schadenfreude that you've been saving just for Iowa-Nebraska. Plus, it might be the last time we get to see Kirk Ferentz coaching in the Big Ten! I'll be getting all emotional.

Switch to Empyrean's Collapsar Oatmeal Stout when Iowa begins the second half.