Hot off a wild Week 1 in which Big Ten teams narrowly avoided upsets at the hands of FCS clubs, pulled upsets of Top-25 teams, and lost to Temple, the "writer" standings are in such a state of flux that we won't even be posting them today (sorry, life gets in the way). In any regard, we've got some hot, fresh Big Ten picks and predictions for a week in which Yours Truly thinks the Big Ten should go at least 12-2:
A couple points of order:
- Picks are made both straight-up (SU) and against the spread (ATS)
- There are no lines for games against FCS competition, but that doesn't mean "writers" can't pick the upset (ooh, foreshadowing)!
Oregon State @ Michigan (-15.5) || 11am, ABC
SU: Michigan, 17-2
ATS: Oregon State, 13-6
Stewmonkey13: Michigan to cover. Some asshole really left Anderson in the lurch with this shitty Oregon State team. He's got a complete rebuild.
87 Townie: Is Oregon State really this bad? Nope. The fightin' Harbaughs TM win but don't cover.
Andrew Kraszewski: Michigan Covers, declarations of MICHIGAN BAK ring out across the land
C4B: This spread can't be right. Like, multiple scores out of whack not right. RIGHT? Michigan wins, Oregon State covers.
MNWildcat: The Beavers weren't exactly impressive against Weber State, and I don't see QB Seth Collins running quite as wild on the Wolverines. That said, Michigan's offense...yeah. To note: watch out for Oregon State K Garrett Owens if this game turns into a slugfest. The sophomore hasn't missed a field goal since the first game of his freshman year, going 8/8 since that 5/7 effort (in which one miss was from 50+). Michigan still has just enough, though. Michigan, 27-20.
Goforthree: Michigan isn't oil-well-fire bad, but they ain't good either. Expect Rudock to continue to be the Iowa City Monument to Turnovers. Merchergan werns, dersn't cerver.
CreightonM: I think Rudock plays better than last week (editor: God I hope so it's Oregon State), but they still aren't as good as Vegas seems to think they are, so I think the Beavs cover.
Speth: The Beavers offense is terrible. Maybe Anderson should have brought Ludwig along
Aaron Yorke: This line seems suspiciously large after Michigan just lost to another non-elite Pac-12 opponent. I'm going to guess that Harbaugh's boys even their record at home in convincing fashion.
WSR: I want with all my heart for Oregon State to win this game to piss off two B1G fan bases, but it won't happen. They'll just cover.
Ray Ransom: Initially I was hesitant, but this one should be the announcing of the Harby era. Bonus Prediction: Michigan will be rated Top-5 next week after a win, because #TheBrand.
DJ Carver: Michigan's OL is still terribad. Oregon State will make it interesting but the Fightin' Harbaughs TM get their first win of the season and cover.
Western Illinois @ Illinois (FCS, no spread) || 11am, BTN
The OTE staff unanimously chose Illinois to win.
Stew: Who knew Beckman was holding IL back?
87townie: The fighting leathernecks of Western gave up 300 yards to Eastern Illinois last week. Illini in a walk.
AK Give me the Fightin' Rubik's Cubits
C4B: Can the hype from firing Beckman last another week? I think it can. Illini win.
MNW: One of the awesomest nicknames takes on one of the racistest (I SEE YOU ILLINOIS. HAT). The racists win again. Illinois, in a stunning 52-3 repeat.
GF3: More and more I think Beckman was that weird cloud of cancer/flies/whatever that John Coffey sucked out of the warden's wife in The Green Mile. Illinois wins and covers.
CM: Illinois continues to get better after ditching Beckman.
AY: Can't wait until next Saturday, when a date with North Carolina means we finally find out what we've got in the Illini.
WSR: Don't mess up your goodwill you earned last week, Illinois.
RR: I'm concerned that Illinois is actually a good football team. Was kinda counting on them to be a hot mess. Illini thrash the whatevers. [ed. note: It's the awesomely named Western Illinois Leathernecks. Go choke on a jughandle.]
DJ: Illinois again in another blowout. They'll somehow get even more votes in the coaches poll this week before slamming back down to reality next week against UNC.
Bowling Green @ Maryland (-7.5) || 11am, BTN
SU: Maryland, 14-5
ATS: Bowling Green, 10-9
Stew: Not sure what's better, a wrestler or a LB for a QB
87townie: Will Likely breaks another return record, this time for TDs. Maryland covers.
AK: Dino Babers is smart enough to not kick to Likely, but the talent differential should still be a bit much to overcome. Give me BG to cover.
C4B: Don't let anyone tell you Bowling Green isn't a dangerous team. Because they are. BGSU wins and covers.
MNW: Rumors of Maryland's demise have been greatly exaggerated. They're still not that good, though. Take the over on this one, but Maryland's ground game pulls them through as Perry Hills does just enough to win. Maryland, 41-30.
GF3: Did you know Perry Hills wrestled? He probably sucked at that, too (DJ: He didn't, state champion PA wrestler). BGSU-C-K-S, but they beat Maryland as long as they have a punter who isn't magnetically drawn to Will Likely.
Speth: Will Likely likely wins this game by himself.
AY: This line seems suspiciously small, but the Falcons did just score a bunch on Tennessee, and Maryland is starting Perry Hills again, right?
WSR: I took Maryland, but this one is giving me the shakes.
RR: BGSU is a scrappy school, but Maryland is going to movement all over them. Big win for the derps.
DJ: Maryland will win, but it will be because they looked so terrible in the first half that Randy benches Hills in favor of Caleb Rowe in the second half.
Buffalo @ Penn State (-20.5) || 11am, ESPN2
SU: Penn State, 19-0
ATS: Buffalo, 15-4
[ed. note: Oops. Sorry about the formatting. Too lazy to change it.]
Stew: 20.5 points?!?! For this team?!?! LOLOLOLOL Buffalo covers
87townie: Apparently Vegas didn't watch the Temple game. Penn State wins, but doesn't cover.
AK: Khalil Mack isn't at Buffalo anymore, so I'll hesitantly take Penn State to cover despite having a bottom-3 QB in the conference /trollface
C4B: Hopefully, the Nits find an offensive line this week. PSU wins, but Buffalo covers.
MNW: Buffalo is rebuilding on defense under DIII UW-Whitewater guru Lance Leipold. The Nitty Kitties should get a chance to get back on track on offense. The Bulls bring a strong and multi-faceted offensive attack, though, so it'll be interesting to see if the Penn State defense can recover from last week. I think Penn State rides Akeel Lynch and a Christian Hackenberg play-action bomb to a partially-convincing victory, but the Bulls get their points, seeing red after being subjected to "Fight On, State" at practices. PSU, 27-17.
AlnamiasIV: PSU Wins, Buffalo covers. Buffalo had 2 sacks last week (against Albany). I put 6 sacks as the O/U against PSU. Any takers?
GF3: God, I love the misery in State College. Tell me about a 63-14 game 20 years ago again, you bloated, buzzard-pecked carcass of a program. Sorry, I became momentarily possessed there. Anyhow, PSU wins....Buffalo covers.
CM: I can't agree with favoring Penn State by 20.5 if I'm not even 100% confident that's what the O/U should be
AY: Everyone is going to overreact and pick Penn State to not cover a spread that is less than three touchdowns. I'm happy to take the advantage.
WSR: Buffalo will cover this spread because Penn State can't score 20 points.
RR: Is there an angrier team in America than the one from Pennsylvania? Poor Buffalo will get 14 sacks and still lose 33-0.
DJ: I really hope Penn State finds a way to muck this up because, honestly, coming home to read those meltdowns last week was glorious. Unfortunately, even Penn State and their swiss cheese offensive line will still take it to Buffalo but won't cover.
Indiana State @ Purdue || 11am, ESPNNews
SU: Purdue, 16-3
Stewmonkey13: Purdue, but this one is tempting.
87 Townie: Purdue makes the Sycamores look good, but still squeaks out a win.
Andrew Krasznewski: Purdue...I guess. I initially liked their eeffort on Sunday until I remembered a B1G team shouldn't be a dog to a Coosah opponent, even on the road
C4B: As much as I'd love to make a prediction for LOL-worthiness, I just can't. Boilers win.
MNW: Just don't cock this up, Boilers. Purdue 48-30
Goforthree: Purdue is to football what Tijuana is to plastic surgery. Indy State all the way.
Speth: I mean Purdue looked good against Marshall before they did Purdue things in the 4th quarter.
LPW: ISU wins. I still hold out on Purdue going 1-11, and Purdue sucks.
Aaron Yorke: This will be good practice for almost upsetting Indiana this year.
WSR: I took Purdue because I'm a fool. There are no winners in this contest.
Ray Ransom: Purdue wins, but finds a way to make it close. This one will be way more entertaining than it should be.
DJ Carver: Purdue gets their only win of the season.
Miami (OH) @ Wisconsin (-33) || 11am, ESPNU
SU: Wisconsin, 19-0
ATS: Wisconsin, 13-6
Stew: 33 is a lot of points, WI missing their best defender, what's the status of Clement?
87townie: The Redhawks handled the Blue Hose of Presbyterian last week...but the Badger's hose is too much. Wiscy wins but doesn't cover.
AK: Wisco to cover, shouldn't be much to see here
C4B: The only reason the spread is that low is because they couldn't score against Bama. Wisconsin wins and covers easily.
MNW: I don't have much to base this on, but I think Miami Hydroxide breaks double-digits in a loss. No lye. Wisconsin 49-10
GF3: That's quite the spread. Oh, wait, it's Week 2. Now that Wiscy has their clownfucking by an SEC opponent out of the way, it's time to mop up nobodies until the October/Novemberish dick-tripping.
Speth: Wisconsin always covers at home. Sorry Graham
AY: I have a feeling the Badger running game will get back on track.
WSR: Bucky wins, Miami covers, alcohol will be consumed, and nothing will be learned from this game.
RR: Been there Mohio. Just drink until the feels don't feel.
DJ: Wisconsin takes out all the anger after that loss last week.
Hawaii @ Ohio State (-38) || 2:30pm, BTN
SU: Ohio State, 19-0
ATS: Ohio State, 18-1
Stew: Urban Meyer hates puppies
87townie: The buckeyes only send two players...JT Barrett and Braxton Miller. They still cover.
AK: I thought Hawaii quit football. Bucks cover.
C4B: If the buckeyes don't cover, it's because they let off the gas too early. I think they'll keep the pedal to the metal just long enough to matter.
MNW: Look away. Buckeyes 63-14
GF3: Who knows. Wouldn't mind seeing Urban be a gracious midwestern host and shoot for exactly 38. They traveled a long way. OSU covers, probably with some horrific season-altering injury. Because.
Speth: OSU: LOL Hawaii - 3: The LOL stands for a number between 80 and 100. I'm pretty sure OSU has intramural teams that could win this game.
LPW: OSU by a mile. Dear god this won't be pretty.
AY: The 3:30pm ET start won't be enough to offset the jetlag on Hawaii's side.
WSR: The only way Hawaii covers is if Urban has money on the under.
RR: This is going to be the most beautiful win of the season for OSU. Have you seen those HI jerseys? Also, they may score 70 without a pass in the second half, while punting on every second down.
DJ: OSU blanks Hawaii 63-0.
Wazzu @ Rutgers (-2) || 2:30, ESPNU
SU: Rutgers, 15-4
ATS: Rutgers, 15-4
Stew: Buttgers to cover, I guess. There is not enough alcohol to get me to watch this game.
87townie: Rutgers is going to take their lunch money. The Jersey boys cover.
AK: Rutgers to cover; can't imagine a team that just blew it as 31 point favorites is going to be feeling too good about themselves
C4B: Rutgers>Portland State. Knights win and cover.
MNW: It seems like it would be so Rutgers to lose--at home--to a team that just lost to an FCS doormat. They could claim that they were looking ahead to their Super Bowl next weekend, though, so it's within the realm of possibility. Josh Hicks wins OPOTW for a 150+ rushing performance, Laviano throws for two scores, and the defense does just enough to pull away in the second half. Rutgers, 45-35
GF3: RU is a team in crisis. They live in New goddam Jersey. Oh, and the dismissals and Flood and stuff. RU to cover anyways.
CM: Wazzu started out the season in probably the worst way possible, and Rutgers started out in the best way possible (all things considered), but I'm not confident in Rutgers' ability to slow down the Mike Leach air raid without their secondary.
Speth: Washington State - a lot of points, Rutgers - Even more points, like 5-7 more
WSR: Rutgers didn't even get the home field bounce? Wazzou all the way. All of the Fireball in the metropolitan Piscataway area will be consumed in celebration.
AY: The Knights won last year and the Cougs just lost to Portland State
RR: If I were a bettin' man, I'd lay it all down on Red. Knights slay the Dragons...that's what they're logo is right? A dragon?
DJ: Uh, lol Rutgers is only 2 point favorites? Actually, fuck it, Wazzu wins this one. They air raid allllll over the dismissed secondary.
Minnesota (-6) @ Colorado State || 2:30pm, CBSSN
SU: Minnesota, 17-2
ATS: Minnesota, 14-5
Stew: That defense, and CSU lost a lot off of their good team last year.
87townie: This will be a good test for the Gophers. The Rams killed Savannah State last week, whichi s like saying I killed a marshmallow. Minnie wins by two touchdowns.
AK: Tough Call. Without McElwain, I assume CSU isn't feeding on Bama's scraps anymore, but it's still a road game with Minny's mediocre offense...give me CSU to cover [but Minnesota to win].
C4B: Actually seems like a fair spread. Doesn't change my thoughts on who wins at all. Minnesota covers.
MNW: Can Mitch Leidner actually throw the ball? Can the Gophers' D hold up to yet another aerial barrage? The Rams had 16 TFLs against some FCSrifice, but Leidner should have enough time to complete passes. The Rams' D bends and breaks under a Minnesota running barrage, but the glacial Gopher pace lets the home side stay in it. Gophers, 21-17.
GF3: I love Jerry Kill. He's the best. He's on my list of people who can visit me in the hospital. But CSU is a no-joke offense...it seems. Minnesota is a no-joke defense....it seems. Leidner is not a great QB....it's a fact. So unless CSU is terribad on defense, I see the Rams coming away with one. I would love to be wrong about this.
Speth: 0-2 to start the year, but it's totally the year Minny wins back the Axe.
WSR: Goldy wins, Goldy covers, Goldy spins his head.
AY: Rashard Higgins vs Eric Murray should be quite the battle, even if CSU is breaking in a new quarterback.
RR: TCU they ain't. CSU is in for a long, sad day.
DJ: I know nothing about CSU after McElwain left, and I know nothing on Minnesota except Minnesota can play defense but lol Leidner is really bad. Minnesota wins and covers though
Eastern Illinois @ Northwestern || 3pm, BTN
The OTE staff unanimously chose Northwestern to win.
87townie: Eastern lost to Western 33 to 5 last week...the Cats are going to feast.
AK: GO MEOWTARPS
C4B: If this pick is wrong, I reserve the right to point and laugh at the Cats [ed. note: We all will]. Northwestern wins.
MNW: If this is a game, my liver gets it. Conservative Pat Fitzgerald means I will be seriously concerned midway through the second quarter. Northwestern, 30-10.
alnamiasIV: JNW wins, though it would make perfect sense for NU to choke after the big win against Stanford.
GF3: NU isn't really good. They aren't really bad either. That is a huge step up in my mind. NU x 2.
Speth: Northwestern-27 Eastern Illinois-6. 2/10. Will not watch: I mean I do t watch any games since I write for OTE, but I'll make a special point to not watch this.
WSR: See Illinois.
AY: Northwestern 35, Eastern Illinois 0: The Wildcats turned themselves into a Big Ten West contender with last week's upset.
RR: Stanford they ain't. See above.
Iowa (-3.5) @ Iowa State || 3:45pm, FOX
SU: Iowa, 11-8
ATS: Iowa, 10-9
Stew: Iowa to cover: Fuck all of you
87townie: I'm going to be a conference homer and go with Iowa to cover.
AK: Oooooooh is this one tempting...but no, surely Iowa won't let the Sikes beat them back-to-back. Right? Right??? Iowa to cover.
C4B: Ugh, this game again. Iowa wins, but ISU covers.
MNW: It's not even worth trying to figure out what the fuck will happen in this game. Just sit back and LAWL at it. Iowa, 27-14.
alnamiasIV: Iowa State wins and covers. Your guess is as good as mine.
CM: Iowa 41--Iowa State 9: Iowa remembers Tyler Sash in the best way possible. Cyclones get a pair of 4th quarter field goals agains the scrubs, and Paul Rhoads finally loses his job after this season after he again fails to go to a bowl.
GF3: ISU wins, because Kirk Ferentz. That's football.
Speth: Iowa 24 Iowa State 17 I wanna say the Cyclones win but they're just so bad. I'll still throughly enjoy the schadenfreude despite this pick.
LPW: ISU wins. BHGP meltdown threads are delicious!
WSR: Prove me wrong, Herky. Don't shit the bed against little brother for once.
AY: Iowa 24, Iowa State 17: The Hawkeyes looked good enough last week to convince me that the Cy-Hawk Trophy will return to Iowa City... for now.
RR: This shouldn't be close, but...yeesh. I've got Iowa by a score, but it'll be ugly on the way there.
Oregon @ Michigan State (-3.5) || 7pm, ABC
SU: Michigan State, 11-8
ATS: Michigan State, 10-9
Stew: OR to win: I think this will be high scoring. MSU's secondary not quite up to it's normal standards, and Cook should be able to find openings in OR's defense.
87townie: Another tough test for Sparty. I don't have a good feel for Oregon, but I think the Green and White show us something. Sparty wins and covers
AK: Despite some alarming tackling issues, it's worth noting Oregon's defense got gashed even worse by a weaker opponent. FULL HOMERSPARTY, MSU covers
C4B: I think home field advantage might be what swings this game. It's gonna be a close one, though. Sparty wins, but Oregon covers.
MNW: I just have been swinging towards the pessimistic when it comes to the Big Ten. So screw it, Sparty finds a way to lose and #narratives abound. We all wonder about the departure of Nard-dog. Oregon, 38-30.
alnamiasIV: MSU wins, covers, MSU drops their Nike sponsorship for this game; joins Michigan and Adidas.
GF3: Remember that MSU secondary that surrendered 365 yards passing to Western (LOL) Michigan? They're baaaaaack. If Vernon Adams doesn't start or goes out, the script flips. OU (that's how the Big 8 says University of Oregon).
Speth: MSU- 49 Oregon- 45. Now Spartans, here is your chance to make Baylor not look like a fluke. DON'T BLOW IT.
LPW: Oregon wins and covers. MSU really misses ‘Duzz.
WSR: Sparty gets revenge for last year and makes us all proud.
AY: Michigan State 42, Oregon 35: Both teams allowed more points than they would have liked last week. At least Michigan State was playing a team that could win the MAC this year.
RR: No Mariota. No Chip Kelly. MSU domination and the Big Ten is a two-team show. This game is where Connor Cook earns his spot as the top pick in next year's NFL draft.
South Alabama @ Nebraska (-25.5) || 7pm, BTN
SU: Nebraska, 19-0
ATS: Nebraska, 13-6
[ed. note: WhiteSpeedReceiver put "FIU" in the "Spread" box on our picks spreadsheet. I have honored his "wish."]
Stew: UNL straight up, South Alabama to cover: lot of points to give up for a team without a punter, a kicker, or a defense.
87townie: Well at least we won't see a Hail Mormon. Nebraska wins but the Jaguars cover.
AK: Uhh that's kind of a big spread and I don't know anything whatsoever about Roll Tide Coastal. Coin flip says Nebby covers.
C4B: As long as Lil Red isn't in the starting lineup, this one shouldn't come down to a Hail Mary at the end. Huskers win and cover.
MNW: Nebraska rebounds. The Jaguars barely got past the Runnin' Bulldogs of mighty mighty Gardner-Webb. Nebraska, 48-13.
GF3: LOL. UN-L.
Speth: Nebraska-31 USA-14. Way to beat America Nebraska. You assholes.
LPW: Nebraska wins and covers. Gets the anger from the Hail Mormon out of their system.
WSR: Will winning without covering be enough for Nebraska fans to throw a parade for Mike Riley?
AY: Nebraska 52, South Alabama 20: The Huskers need to beat someone up after last week's heartbreaking defeat.
RR: DON'T LOOK OH NOES DON'T LOOK [Nebraska.]
Florida International @ Indiana (-7.5) || 7pm, BTN
SU: Indiana, 15-4
ATS: Florida International, 10-9
Stew: IN straight up, FIU to cover: CHAOS TEAM
87townie: Indiana takes on the other Miami Florida school. This could be a trap game for the Hoosiers. After giving up 47 to the Salukis, the Golden Panthers could steal this one. FIU wins.
AK: Let the false bowl hope live! Indiana wins and covers!
C4B: With a bunch of key players returning from their week one suspensions, I think this game will go a lot smoother for the Hoosiers. At least, I hope so. IU wins and covers.
MNW: I feel like I have to choose an upset this week. Indiana's the last team on the list, therefore they're the upset. Sorry, Hoosierbros. To compound matters: Florida Internationaler, 35-17.
alnamiasIV: Indiana wins, covers. Allows FIU (which scored 14 against UCF) to score 40.
GF3: Indiana wins, but god are they ever a bunch of Hoosiers. Indy wins, FIU covers.
Speth: Indiana- 40 Florida International- 28. This week's "Speth doesn't give one fuck about this game" special.
WSR: Oh God. Jesus no. You can't make me watch this game. Just send me a gif or two after it's done so I know it's safe again.
AY: Indiana 31, FIU 24: The Hoosiers pull away late from a Panthers team that scored a big upset over UCF last week.
RR: Might be ugly and no fun, but the talent disparity should give Indiana the advantage, going away.
You made it this far? Answer the poll! Give us your picks in the comments!