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Hello Off Tacklers!
As you may or may not be aware, Off Tackle Empire's mascot is the legendary Civil War hero General William Tecumseh Sherman. A man of not only a brilliant strategic mind and a mean stink eye, but of a certain view of the South that I think we can all share.
AHAHAHAHAHA BURN IT BURN IT BURN IT
— OTE General Sherman (@ote_gen_sherman) September 8, 2015
OTE "Writer" WhiteSpeedReceiver puts it well:
Yeah, Sherman was legitimately a perfect mascot for us. The only things he was better at than drinking were fighting and pissing off southerners.
In addition to having one of the most iconic tanks in history named after him, General Sherman is surprisingly active on Twitter, engaging his audience with timely observations, playful quips about his favorite sport, and fond memories of burning Atlanta to the ground.
WHATS WORSE, ATLANTA AFTER I BURNED IT OR ILLINOIS FOOTBALL RIGHT NOW??!?
— OTE General Sherman (@ote_gen_sherman) August 30, 2015
His reverence for the fine game of college football is matched only by his hatred of the south. He is frequently inebriated, often angry, obstinately pro Big Ten, and LOVES TYPING IN ALL CAPS.
80 YARDS THROUGH THE HEART OF THE SOUTH NEVER EVER EVER GETS OLD! pic.twitter.com/BBuyZzil4H
— OTE General Sherman (@ote_gen_sherman) September 15, 2015
Naturally, I'm a big fan. Accordingly, I wanted to start a weekly feature showcasing some of The General's best content for those users who might not see them in real-time (aka for you luddites who hate the Twitters).
Let's get to the good stuff:
Salting the Earth
The General's Top 5ish Plays from around the Big Ten.
5. On a Job Well Done
THE DEFENSE WAS BURNED LIKE I BURNED ATLANTA: THOROUGHLY pic.twitter.com/sI2QGfTWsE
— OTE General Sherman (@ote_gen_sherman) September 16, 2015
4. I Thought it Was the Old Bay
WILL LIKELY PUNT RETURNS ARE THE ONLY REASON I WANTED MARYLAND IN THE UNION pic.twitter.com/zWyFUQu55m
— OTE General Sherman (@ote_gen_sherman) September 16, 2015
3. Regarding a Good Midlands to Coast March
MARCH TO THE SEA JANARION pic.twitter.com/Nz1nKRUYsa
— OTE General Sherman (@ote_gen_sherman) September 15, 2015
2. A Tribute of the Highest Order
A GAME ICING PICK?. TYLER MOTHERFUCKING SASH APPROVED https://t.co/CUdZIYl1nK
— OTE General Sherman (@ote_gen_sherman) September 16, 2015
1. On Drawing the Battle Line
I HAVEN'T SEEN SUCH AN AMAZING GOAL LINE STAND SINCE GETTYSBURG pic.twitter.com/B6hMcPZqui
— OTE General Sherman (@ote_gen_sherman) September 16, 2015
Tweet Heat of the Week*
Sherman's Best Zingers and Balderdash, in basically random order, like 5 or 10 or 6 of them.
1. On Logistics
BRING MORE THAN TWO REGIMENTS TO THE NEXT REBELLION AND YOU'LL GET MORE SYMPATHY FROM ME, OREGON
— OTE General Sherman (@ote_gen_sherman) September 13, 2015
2. Sometimes Sherman Can be a Real Prick
I SEE SMOKE RISING ON THE BANKS OF THE OLD RARITAN. DID I STOP BY RUTGERS THIS MORNING?
— OTE General Sherman (@ote_gen_sherman) September 3, 2015
...but even I can admit that's funny.
3. On Consumption in Norther Climes
DRUNK WISCONSINITES ARE THE BEST WISCONSINITES
— OTE General Sherman (@ote_gen_sherman) September 15, 2015
...a good start...
I APOLOGIZE THAT LAST TEXT REDUNDANTLY USED THE WORD "DRUNK"
— OTE General Sherman (@ote_gen_sherman) September 15, 2015
...zing!
4. On Griping
HEY @FINEBAUM YOU’LL NEED A LOT OF MAALOX AFTER MONDAY MORNING LISTENING TO SEC WHINING
— OTE General Sherman (@ote_gen_sherman) September 13, 2015
Remember ESSSS-EEEE-CEEEEE, complaints always go up the chain of command.
5. Didn't see that coming...
JOEL STAVE IS ON PACE TO THROW FOR 30 PLUS TOUCHDOWNS. SO WHOSE THE REAL QB WHISPERER HERE HARBAUGH?!?
— OTE General Sherman (@ote_gen_sherman) September 12, 2015
WHAT CANT JOEL STAVE DO?!? HE'S A GOOD LOOKING ENGINEERING MAJOR WHO'S A GIFTED MUSICIAN AND NOW HE CAN PLAY QB TOO
— OTE General Sherman (@ote_gen_sherman) September 12, 2015
pssst they have my family.
— OTE General Sherman (@ote_gen_sherman) September 12, 2015
6. On Battlefield Medicine
MY FINE TEAM OF MEDICS WILL TAKE TO HACK'S INJURIES TONIGHT. HIS ARM IS USELESS ANYWAY BEHIND THAT LINE
— OTE General Sherman (@ote_gen_sherman) September 12, 2015
7. Not All Caps. Must have been Hax.
Kyle Flood is a natural disaster.
— OTE General Sherman (@ote_gen_sherman) September 12, 2015
8. SEC Trolling is the Best Trolling
HEY BERT DON'T YOU LOVE MACTION?!
— OTE General Sherman (@ote_gen_sherman) September 12, 2015
* Ehh, a week or two. Whatever.
Enjoy this week of General Sherman madness? Of course you did! This shit is hilarious. Jump in on the fun and follow General Sherman on Twitter at www.twitter.com/ote_gen_sherman
The more interaction we get, the more drunk the "writers" will get, and we all know how that goes:
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