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Potential New Coach Power Rankings: Week 3

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Who will be the next to join the fold?

Never
Never
Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports

Here's the rules: Nobody is exempt from consideration except head coaches currently at other P5 schools. With only two schools currently a lock to get a new permanent head coach (Illinois and Rutgers), the top 2 are considered the next Big Ten coaches. Also bear in mind this is from an Illinois perspective. Rutgers might feel differently, but Rutgers has all sorts of feelings to sort out right now.

1. Justin Fuente, Memphis: 3-0, 1-0 against this list. Welcome to Champaign, Coach Fuente!
Coming off a 10-win season at Memphis, he coached his team to a 55-23 win over Kansas (which, while terrible, is still a P5 team) and a come-from-behind win against a BGSU team led by #4 Dino Babers.

2. Rod Carey, Northern Illinois: 2-1, 0-1 against the B1G. Welcome to Piscataway, soon to be known to Buckeye fans as Rutgers Harbor!
With Jerry Kill at Minnesota and Dave Doeren looking good at NC State, "Hire the NIU coach" seems to be a pretty viable game plan.

3. Matt Campbell, Toledo: 2-0, 1-0 against BERT. The architect of Tim Beckman's turnaround at Toledo, his former OC declined to join him in Champaign, instead deciding to be the Chris Petersen to Beckman's Dan Hawkins. His wins this year are against Iowa State and the RAZORBERTS.

4. Matt Rhule, Temple: 3-0, 1-0 against the B1G. Hey Rutgers, you should look up his Week 1 game.

5. Dino Babers, BGSU: 1-2, 1-0 against the B1G. Babers' two losses were a nailbiter to Memphis and a weird, lightning-delayed game at Tennessee. Babers' win is one Maryland fans would rather forget. The second-year coach formerly of Eastern Illinois is being tested by a tough OOC schedule

6. Willie Fritz, Georgia Southern: 2-1, 1-0 against this list. Despite a 44-0 drubbing by WVU, Fritz and his Paul-Johnson-esque offense rise to #4 due to a 43-17 smashing of what appears to be OTE's golden boy...

7. PJ Fleck, Western Michigan: 1-2, 0-1 against this list, 0-1 against the B1G. ROW ROW ROW YOUR BOAT, FURIOUSLY TO COLUMBUS

8. Ken Niumatalolo, Navy: 2-0. Who better for a school whose in-state talent keeps getting poached than a guy who's been successful at a service academy in the 21st century?

9. Whoever is currently head-coach-in-waiting at Northern Illinois. That program is a hydra.

10. Bo Pelini, Youngstown State: 2-1 with a loss at Pitt. It took everything in Bo's power to not just say "fuck you, Thumpasaurus. Fuck all of you."

11. Jeff Brohm, WKU: 2-1, 0-1 against the B1G. Had a shot at a top 5, but blew it in the second half.

12. Bill Cubit, Illinois interim: 2-1, 0-1 against teams with a pulse. Former WMU head coach, who had a pretty good run, but let's not forget that he was fired from there after a 4-8 season that led off with a 24-7 loss to Tim Beckman's first Illini squad, the hilarious 2-10 disaster that produced NFL linemen.

13. Brock Spack, Illinois State: 2-1. Bring Tre Roberson and we'll talk.

14. Bob Stitt, Montana: 1-2. Wow, things have gotten Stitty over there since their upset of mighty North Dakota State. Give this first-year FCS coach a few years before looking at him for a gig like this.

15. Greg Schiano. Illinois just fired a coach because of his handling of players' medical situations. Lord have MRSA

16. Jim Tressel. Show cause? We show nuff need a new coach cause we suck.

17. Ed Orgeron. DACOACHO is best suited as an assistant/hype man. It's like a Flavor Flav solo album.

18. Your local-area high school coach. It's not going to happen and I don't want to hear about him.

19. Tommy Tuberville. When your last coach was unpopular or morally dubious, you want a guy that leaves recruits in the middle of dinner to take a new job. True story.

20. Ron Zook, 2007 Fulmer Cup Champion. Led Illinois to the Rose Bowl. Led Illinois to a 3-9 record with 21 eventual NFL starters.

21. Will Muschamp. Hiring fired Florida coaches is always the best move.

22. Ron Turner. As long as we're talking retreads and terrible ideas.

23. Brady Hoke. WELLLLLL no.

24. The death penalty

25. Lane Kiffin.