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Why the Wisconsin Badgers will beat the Alabama Crimson Tide

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What will totally happen tonight against Alabama (I hope)

Reese Strickland-USA TODAY Sports

So two things right off the bat. One, my last article of this sort went rather well #38-1. Two, I'm nowhere near as confident that Wisconsin beats Alabama tonight. I don't think Wisconsin has a slight coaching edge like it did with Bo, and there is a significant talent gap between Wisconsin and Alabama whereas the starting five of Wisconsin was every bit as talented as the starting five for Kentucky. Anyway, here''s what needs to happen if/when Wisconsin is going to be the 2015 Alabama State Champs...

Troy

Yes Troy, I'm aware you're in Alabama and we play you in two weeks. It can safely being assumed we're going to kill you.

Joel Stave, come out firing

So Joel Stave needs to have the game of his life tonight. The good news is that I think he will have the game of his life tonight. He's had a great camp, his head's clear because he was the guy since the beginning of spring, and his position coach isn't a moron who led an SEC team to 12 points against Western Kentucky two days ago. Chryst's work with quarterbacks is well documented, and Stave might have more physical gifts (size, cannon for arm) than any QB he's had at Wisconsin not named Russell Wilson. It needs to all come together tonight. Fortunately, secondary is not the strength of this team. Which leads to...

The right side of the offensive line better grow up fast

Hayden Biegel and Walker Williams, welcome to the big time! Now go block possibly the best front seven in college football. They're both big and talented, which leads t an interesting question. It's assumed that Bama just reloads everywhere, and that's fine. There are also positions where it should be assumed Wisconsin will just reload as well. Offensive line is one of those places where it should be assumed that whoever Wisconsin starts is going to be good. Now if that's just "going to maul inferior competition" good or "control the line of scrimmage against Alabama" good are completely different things. Just make some holes for Corey Clement and keep Stave from running for his life. I think they can do that.

Tanner McEvoy needs to make plays

He's the number two receiver now, and he could be the weapon that is the difference between Wisconsin not being able to get a first down and Wisconsin scoring scoring enough to win. Teams that beat Bama stretch their defense out. It has been rightly pointed out that Wisconsin doesn't stretch teams out vertically. Even Alex Erickson, as good a receiver as he is, is more of a possession guy. McEvoy's 6'6 and runs a sub 4.5 40. He doesn't need to have 10 grabs, just a couple deep balls that keep the safeties off the line. Also if Wisconsin doesn't run McEvoy on a jet sweep the first series of the game I'm going to wonder what the point of getting rid of Ludwig was (I will settle for a fake as well). RUN ALL THE JET SWEEPS DAMNIT. STRETCH THEM HORIZONTALLY.

The defense needs to create chaos

Known hair aficionados Vince Biegel and Joe Schobert are going to have to live in the backfield tonight. That means an inexperienced defensive line needs to get some push. Michael Caputo also has to be able to create havoc from the safety spot. Fortunately not having an experienced QB means Bama's gonna make mistakes under pressure. The pressure needs to be able to get there though. Aranda loves the speed of the defense. Let's see if he was just hyping his own unit or if they really are that athletic this year.

The secondary cannot get burned

Not even once! Fortunately there's no Amari Cooper to deal with. Also literally everyone from a good secondary is back. Even more fortunately, has it been mentioned Bama doesn't have a starting quarterback? I remember when Wisconsin started an inexperienced QB against a good secondary. The minute he had to pass it was a disaster. Whoever Bama starts will be better than McEvoy, but 2015 Wisconsin is better than 2014 LSU. 2014 Wisconsin was better than 2014 LSU except at quarterback. Could it be that 2015 Alabama being better than 2015 Wisconsin except at quarterback costs them dearly?

Brazilian kicker better not miss

I'm currently knocking on all the wood right now, but there are rumors that gifted dancer/fat kicker Rafael Gaglianone hasn't missed a kick ALL OF FALL CAMP. Which is insane if true. Bama's kickers always suck, and in a game were points will be at a premium (jinxed it, take the over right now) having an awesome kicker is a huge advantage. RIGHT AUBURN?!?! IT WAS NICE BASICALLY ONLY HAVING TO CENTER THE BALL IN OT OF THE BOWL GAME. REAL NICE NEW YEAR'S PRESENT.

With all that said, I stand by prediction minus one point. Wisconsin 27 Alabama 24. Get ready for the samba, because Rafael's gonna win it for us.