11/22/15 - Minnesota lost to Texas Tech 81-68
"How in the hell did we lose to Tubby Smith? That idiot is partially responsible for how bad things are right now. It's bad enough he couldn't find anything that even resembled a frontcourt player to leave behind, but now he has to rub our nose in it?"
12/5/15-12/8/15 - Minnesota lost to South Dakota 85-81 and South Dakota State 84-70
"I'm sure this is just a hiccup. After all, this was the biggest game of the year for those teams. They were up for it, and our guys were probably looking forward to the game with Oklahoma State. We're not going to win the B1G, but we'll get back on track for the NIT."
1/2/16 - Minnesota lost to Michigan State 69-61
"Hey, they played hard against a great team. There are a few winnable games coming up, and if they can play like this they'll squeak a few wins out. It's not going to be a great season, but there could be a few highlights. Then everything will be better once we can get next year's recruiting class in."
1/5/16 - Minnesota lost to Penn State 86-77
"We just lost to Penn State. In basketball. Does it get any worse than this?"
1/9/16 - Minnesota lost to Northwestern 77-52
"That really is Julia Louis Dreyfus' son checking in, isn't it? Fuck it all. At least we play Rutgers twice. Sure, that's probably what they're thinking. But somebody has to win those games, and they still count in the B1G standings."