I’m as fan of Doctor Who, the long running BBC science fiction show about a time traveling alien (a Time Lord) only known as "The Doctor" from the planet Gallifrey who travels through time and space via a spaceship hidden in a police box called the TARDIS.
The Doctor and his traveling companions over the years have faced several enemies in his travels, and some are more noteworthy than others. To the polls!
Michigan — The Master. (265 Total Points, 18 FPV. Last Week #2)
Jim Harbaugh is a lunatic, and so is the Doctor’s childhood friend and and renegade Time Lord who was driven insane.
Last week Michigan defeated Illinois 41-8 and this week they face MSU.
(Ed note: I’m two seasons behind on this show, and I haven’t yet seen Michelle Gomez’s take on the character. I hear it’s very good)
Ohio State — Daleks. (240 Total Points, 1 FPV. Last Week #1)
The Buckeyes have been on a mission to EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINAAAATE! EXTERMINAAAAAATE! every single team they face, however they’ve been undone by a team represented by a villain yet to come on this list. (They lost to PSU last week).
This week week the Buckeyes host Northwestern.
Nebraska — Cybermen (226 Total Points. Last Week #4)
The Cybermen will either upgrade you or delete you. You don’t have a choice. And if you fight them and damage them, they will upgrade themselves.
- Video 1: The Cybermen throughout history
Last week the Huskers struggled against the Boilermakers, and this week they face Wisconsin.
(Ed note: if the Cybermen remind you of the Borg from Star Trek, you’re right. In fact, there was a comic book crossover between Star Trek TNG and the 10th Doctor/Rory/Amy Pond vs the Cybermen and the Borg. IMHO (as a Star Trek TNG Fan) It’s a very good book. Read it!)
Wisconsin — The Silents (213 Total Points. Last Week #3)
You will forget the Silence exist if you turn your back on them. One of the most unnerving villains on the show’s storied history.
- Video 1: The Silence
Last week Wisconsin defeated Iowa and this week they play Nebraska.
Penn State — Davros (194 Total Points. Last Week #5)
The creator of the Daleks only wishes he could outsmart his creations, unlike how Penn State defeated the Buckeyes in Happy Valley last week.
- Video 1: Top Ten Davros Moments
Last week Penn State defeated Ohio State and this week they face Purdue.
Northwestern — Weeping Angels (170 Total Points. Last week #7)
You can’t afford to close your eyes on the Weeping Angels or else they’ll kill you by sending you back in time and draining your life energy. Teams in the Big Ten are learning to fear the Northwestern Wildcats’ reinvigorated offense.
- Video 1: Highlights of the Weeping Angels
Last week the Wildcats defeated Indiana and this week the Wildcats travel to Columbus.
Maryland — Zygons (144 Total Points. Last Week 10)
These aliens look like a Terrapin mutated by nuclear waste.
- Video 1: Zygons
Last week the Terrapins defeated the Spartans, and this week they face the Hoosiers.
Iowa — Sontarans (133 Total Points. Last Week #8)
The Sontarans IMHO are fairly bland aliens like how Iowa is a bland football team.
- Video 1: The Sontarans Alien Spotlight
Last week the Hawkeyes lost to the Badgers, and this week they’re off.
Minnesota — Abzorbaloff (112 Points. Last Week #9)
Minnesota fans are about as disgusted with their football team’s performance as the Abzorbaloff is a disgusting alien.
- Video 1: The Abzorbaloff
Last week the Gophers barely beat the Scarlet Knights. This week the Gophers will face the Fighting Illini in a game that can only be described by one of my earliest photoshops here:
Indiana — The Autons (108 Points. Last week #6)
The Nestene consciousness inherits mannequins and basically anything plastic, like garbage cans. They like to kill or eat humans.
- Video 1: Autons
Indiana is posing as a good football team, but they might be more accurately represented by a photo I took last year at the Kickoff Luncheon.
Last week Indiana lost to Northwestern and this week they play Maryland.
Michigan State — Ice Warriors (69 Points. 1 Last Point vote. Last week #11)
The Martian Ice Warriors are green like MSU.
- Video 1: Martian Ice Warriors
Last week MSU lost to Maryland, and this week they face the Wolverines.
Purdue — The Adipose (53 Total Points. Last week #13)
The Adipose are quite possibly the least threatening aliens in the history of Doctor Who. An alien race breeds their young on earth by selling diet pills that suck up fat and then leave your body to be airlifted to a UFO. Usually not deadly unless in an emergency.
- Video 1: The Adipose
Last week Purdue, a joke of a football team the past few years, managed to put a scare into the Nebraska Cornhuskers, but fell short. This week they face the Penn State Nittany Lions
Illinois — The Flood (48 Total Points. Last week #12)
Don’t drink the water on Mars, because you’ll get infected with a viral life form, vomit up water, and die. Unfortunately Illinois football will make you do the same this season.
- Video 1: The Flood.
Last week the Illinois lost to Michigan. This week they face the Golden Gophers
Rutgers — Slitheen crime family (20 points. 18 Last place votes. Last week #14)
The human skin-suit wearing alien invaders from planet Raxacoricofallapatorian are a bunch of bumbling farting idiots. Yes, their skin-suits cause them to fart and belch almost uncontrollably.
Last week the Scarlet Knights lost to the Golden Gophers in a close game. This week they’re off.
OTE Readers, we have a surprise for you: a ballot from one of your faithful volunteer sportswriters!
Guess the Writer in the comments!