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An Open Letter to the B1G and Maryland

37-2-1...but who is counting?

Matthew O'Haren-USA TODAY Sports

Dear Friends,

Let me pose a question for you, the B1G fanbase. If Purdue were to get a new coach and suddenly win four games against a powder puff, two cupcakes, and a drunk, would you doff your cap and bow low?

Me neither. In fact, if a Boilermaker got chippy, I’d tell him to stuff his Purdue Harbor up his coal chute.

And yet.

Last week I found myself inundated by all sorts of turtle puffery. The smell of Old Bay scented Axe Body Spray seemed to leak from every article about the upcoming Penn State game. D.J. Durkin this, undefeated that…but I kept thinking, isn’t this Maryland?

What am I missing?

And even among the "writers", ten of them picked Maryland and only seven picked Penn State. That’s crazy talk, right? I mean, Maryland? I know Penn State is down… I know we lost to Indiana two years ago,  Temple last year, but Maryland?

Dude. Come on.

We have a long, long history with Maryland, back to 1917. I think that's one of the reasons they are in the B1G now. But it's not a good history. It's a debacle. And I know, history doesn't mean much in college football, because things change so often.

And yet Maryland has been so historically bad, that if we played 100 games, they would not lose 8 games. Those aren't wins...those are just not losses. That's how the history shakes out. And yet, somehow I'm supposed to get up for these games?

But I'm old, so I know the history. Many of you aren't, so you do what you know. But seriousl Terps fans…holy hell. I cherry picked some quotes, but there were some doozies:

The reason this game feels different than the others

For me is simple. Living in Baltimore, I meet the occasional Michigan fan, maybe a Michigan State fan, a couple Ohio State fans, or whatever other B1G team. But I see Penn State people everywhere. Heck there are at least two bars that I know of in Baltimore that are PSU bars, I think that might be more bars then claim to be Maryland bars. I see these people all of the time, and I want to beat them.

I can’t wait to get to Happy Valley, and I can’t wait for that long drive back post victory, and I can’t wait to walk into work on Monday morning with a grin from ear to ear and see my 4 coworkers that are all PSU fans, and not say a single word, just have them hide in shame. Rivalry or not, I want to win this one bad.

Or how about this poor bastard:

I'm one of those older alums

I remember two things from the old PSU games:
1) They always beat us; and
2) Their fans thought we were lower than dirt.

The second one sticks out more to me than the losing streak did because I never encountered another fan base that would come onto our campus and literally not look us in the eyes, not talk to us, etc. It was like they were socialites stepping over bums on their way to the opera.

I think that’s really what’s behind the older fans desire to beat Penn State. I also think it explains the schadenfreude that people feel regarding the Paterno – Sandusky scandal. Rather than address the circumstances that led to the most heinous scandal in NCAA history, they feel like they’re the ones that are victims and they’re still better than everyone else.

I don’t care whether it’s a rivalry or not, I’d just like to see them brought down a peg or two.

Excuses, excuses:

Penn State is leading the Big Ten in making excuses

Yes, the game has changed since the Penn State glory days. Two things have not changed – (i) you need a good coach to win and (ii) getting quality guys is not enough, developing quality guys is necessary. Penn State is missing out on both of those points.

Sucks when you talk that much and then get your asses kicked. And make no mistake, you guys got trucked.We are bad this year. Our defense IS a seive. Our O-line sucks again...and yet we beat the tar out of you guys.

I don't care what the line was. I don't care that it moved in your favor. If you think that was because the bookies thought Maryland would win, then you don't understand how lines work.

With that effort, all this trash talk is just a bad look.

Here's the deal, as a Penn State fan, I love good football. I love the tailgating and the camaraderie. And if you come out with me on a football weekend, I'll show you a good time. You be cool, I'll be cool. We've done it a million times, with lots of different fan bases.

But I know that's not how most ACC basketball bullshit works. I've been to Cameron and Chapel Hill.

You guys get your jollies from ripping other team's players, crossing every line possible. That's your fun. That's not my deal. I like to see a good football game and drink some beer.

You guys don't understand the good football bit yet. I'm a bit longer in the tooth than most of you, so I'll give you a little history. Your poor sportsmanship bullshit win two years ago? That was the second time Maryland has ever beaten Penn State.


And we've played off an on for nearly 100 years, for crying out loud. So if you are burning for respect, put a decent team on the field. Don't spend so much time playing dress-up for god's sake.

Seriously, leave the ACC shit at home. Don't pull up in your IROC Z and start dropping stats...nobody cares. Blah, blah, your new helmet design has some fucking fort on it.  Where are we, Milan? This isn't a fashion show, it's football. The Uni's don't matter, the team does.

You are B1G now. Act like it.

I get that you feel dissed and I'm sorry. But to me, as an older fan, Maryland is like what Purdue is today. Only in uglier unis. You need to earn it. You need to win games. You need to beat Ohio State. You need to beat Indiana. You need to beat Michigan State. You need to fucking beat Penn State.

You also need to understand that going 4-0 against Sister Margaret's school for the blind ain't going to cut it in conference play. We may be down, but we still have teeth. So does MSU. So does Illinois. So does Minny. It's the B1G, we good at football.

You need to keep your players at home. We recruit the hell out of Maryland and get great players. Hell, so does Ohio State and Michigan and Florida and FSU and Miami too. If you get better, they will stay home.

Do it. You'll get respect. Talk shit and play like that? Well yeah, we're going to ignore you. Or worse, just laugh.

For all the fucking hype, saturday's wet fart of a game was a huge let down. And think about that poor bastard who has to go to work and face those four PSU fans, who probably will comment on how great that screen pass was. But yeah, we're still dicks.

On the plus side, I like your new coach and I think you are on the right track. So next time we play, act like you've been there. Be cool. We'll respect that. Oh, and just be thankful you aren't Rutgers. Because they are hopeless.

Your Friend,